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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU in how I handled this situation?

31 replies

PenguinofDeath · 08/01/2014 14:16

I was travelling on an hour long airport coach with my DH and baby DS last night to get back home (we live abroad). There were 2 English men (20&23 - also living abroad and working as teachers) behind us having a loud conversation - they hadn't travelled together but knew each other vaguely, so were swapping a lot of details of their lives.

At first their chat was annoying just because of the volume and the overuse of the adjective "sick" but eventually their conversation turned to women and their sexual conquests. I felt really uncomfortable with the language they were using, particularly "smashing her" and a lot of swearing. One was also talking about how he was cheating on his girlfriend. It just seemed very sexist and made me and DH really uncomfortable.

Now, my ds is 3 months and there were no other children around to understand/overhear, but I turned around and asked them politely if they wouldn't mind keeping their conversation down. They apologised but then carried on after muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "interfering old bag", so 10 mins later my DH asked them again because there were other english speaking people on the bus. They apologised again but then started playing what sounded like pornographic videos. So I retaliated by loudly talking about he particularly gruesome elements of my recent childbirth and the fact my lochia had just ended and I had my first period back. Graphically.

Now, DH thinks IWBU because a) DS couldn't understand anyway, b) don't women talk about men that way too (I don't) and c) he had to listen to the gruesome stuff as well, but it did seem to work as they moved swiftly on to discussing the local cuisine...

WIBU and an "interfering old bag?!"

OP posts:
dunsborough · 11/01/2014 04:28

I don't think you were unreasonable. They were inappropriate.

It is unfortunate that these two 'men' are teachers with some influence over children.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 11/01/2014 05:03

I would have said turned round & asked them to turn off their porn video in a really loud voice. And then lectured them on the exploitation of women & rape. I did that once & watched the bastard squirm in embarrassment while everybody stared at him. So satisfying.

horsetowater · 11/01/2014 05:23

Well done OP. I really think this kind of response makes a difference. Dp is probably embarrassed because he didn't manage to get them to shut up.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi · 11/01/2014 07:38

I don't think you sank to their level at all. Your conversation was about something natural and not offensive in the least, though yes a bit tmi and graphic and something I'd normally avoid discussing at volume! Their conversation was offensive and sexist which is completely different

I think you handled it really well

Theodorous · 11/01/2014 07:43

I find visits to the UK full of things like this. I haven't had much experience of this type of thing for almost 20 years. I was on a train from London a few years ago and had a huge gang of twats behind me on their way to a stag weekend. I found the videos, language and stripping off etc really threatening. Twats.

ZenNudist · 11/01/2014 07:49

I think it was a great idea. I would never have been brave enough to even ask them to pipe down.

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