to think the new guy shouldn't have told me I did something wrong?

[swingyourpartnerroundandround]

So he's been at working there for around a month and today he comes up to me and asks to have a quiet word. We work in customer service and I had arranged a collection for a customer the same day which annoyingly had not happened.

Shit happens though and the majority of same day collections do happen and some just don't for reasons such as the driver has been delayed.

New guy came up to me and sucked his teeth and said just want to let you know that you shouldn't do that because same day collections don't always happen and walked away.

Now I actually didn't do anything wrong and when I was new and came across a minor mistake by someone I wouldn't have brought it up with them, as I think it makes you come across as rather arrogant. Aibu?

Dunno really

It's not the sort of thing I would have given a second thought to...think I would have just rolled my eyes.

I'm not sure he's 'new' exactly if he's been working there for a month, and anyway he still has a right to say what's on his mind.

I'm confused. Why didn't it happen?

Had he just been given an earful by the disgruntled customer?

How long does he have to work there before he's not new?

OTOH does he have authority to point out shortcomings (perceived or actual) in your performance?

I find your post a bit confusing, because you say that you didn't do anything wrong, but from what this man said to you i.e. "You shouldn't do that" and your mention of coming across a minor mistake I wonder if you did in fact do something wrong and it was just that you still regard this man as 'new' and therefore believe he shouldn't have any right to point out any mistake on your part.

So, were you faultless or not?

This man called you away for a quiet word & sucked his teeth. I'd have made a complaint about his arrogant rude azz, what a cheek. & who is he to pull you up in this way about a mistake? To the others who don't understand the level of rudeness of a man sucking his teeth at you after telling you off, particularly doing that to a woman, then perhaps if/when you get to know you'll understand why OP is upset.

Hope you're ok OP - try to avoid him but if his attitude makes you uncomfortable do voice that to someone. I'd have been very firm with him if he tried that on me, who on earth does he think he is? Your monitor? There are far better ways to point out an error, as you know. Anyway, don't take any crap from him, he needs to know he'd best suck his teeth outside work when with his mates etc if that's his/their style. Certainly not at work, & not to colleagues. At all.

Mistress i think you are misinterpretting what OP meant by sucking his teeth. It has different meanings. In this case i think OP means he did the thing the comedy sketch mechanics do when asked how much to fix the car. You know- just before he blows you away with a massive price?

You're right, it DOES come across a bit badly if you're new and questioning established staff (which bugs me a bit because if you're wrong, you're wrong. Shouldn't matter that I'm new and you're old)... but if you DID do something wrong then he did the right thing by telling you (even though his manner was off).

If it's really bothering you then tell him. "I didn't appreciate you coming to me and dictating to me that I was wrong. It would have been more appropriate to have a discussion about it because maybe something was going on that you were privy to."

Or you should have a chat with your supervisor to tell them what happened and telling them that while you understand new guy was probably trying to be helpful, you didn't appreciate his manner and you think someone needs to talk to him about the proper process for airing grievances/issues.

And he did it before he spoke to her- not after.

No - Im not misinterpreting. I know exactly what sucking teeth means & its beyond rude. Anyone who would accept being called away for a 'quiet word' and being told off in this way - thats entirely up to them. I wouldnt accept that from anybody at work. Furthermore if I had to pull someone up about a mistake Id find a diplomatic way to do it. I wouldnt call them away anywhere. I cant understand why anyone would find that acceptable actually, but it takes all sorts. Except - that sort wouldnt speak to me like that or suck his teeth and get away with it. Do that shit outside work.

What does sucking teeth mean?

I think you are misinterpretting. Sucking teeth or sucking in a deep breath through your teeth is something people do before they're about to say something that the other person wont like. Not in a "you are fat" insulting way but in a "dont like having to say this but you've made a mistake" way or "this is going to cost more than you thought" way. Its not at all rude.

*sigh....I suck my teeth & I can do that loooooong...I do it when I want to insult somebody as an idiot (only if they get on my last nerve) culturally where Im from, its just what we do. If you say over here its not deemed as rude at all then presumably the OP is somehow odd for mentioning that he sucked his teeth. At times I really hate the way the rudeness of men is downplayed when that rudeness is aimed at a woman. I wonder if he'd have called a man aside & dealt with him like that?! In fact why cant it just be accepted this man made OP feel upset & uncomfortable, without going around the houses looking for a doorway out to explain that he wasnt being rude? The man sucked his teeth, said what he had to say and walked off. No discussion there then. Personally I hope she does report him and avoids him at work as much as possible.

It's seriously rude.

Umm- i havent said he didnt make her uncomfortable or upset. He clearly did. Im saying the teeth sucking wasnt rude and i certainly wouldnt have perceived that as rude nor had the massive over reaction to it that you have. I its rude in your culture fine- maye this man is from your culture and was flipping her off- if he had done it to me i woudnt hve batted an eyelid so the effect would have been lost on me. Its not rude in my culture.

I thought it was called kissing your teeth?

Thats a different thing.

And yes that is very rude and intended as an insult.

We need to hear from the OP which it was given that she was there. I understand the difference between the two things thanks.

Ah ok- so you thought this guy had kissed his teeth? Thats not what i was thinking but if mistress thought the same as you then i can see why she is saying it is rude.

I also thought sucking and kissing your teeth was the same.

I think him taking her off was more respectful than telling her off in front of others though?

Maybe he had a point about promising a customer something that couldn't be guaranteed op?

Yes i would rather have had that conversation away from others as well so i think taling her aside was the right thing to do. I thought it was standard practise if you had something delicate to discuss (which criticising someones's work is) to offer them a private space to discuss it. No- one wants a dressing down in front of staff and customers right?

Unless this guy was privy to whole conversation between you and the customer he shouldn't really be interfering unless he is your line manager/supervisor. He shouldn't tell you what you can and can't do.

forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=138611