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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not pay vets bill

73 replies

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 16:01

Posted this in pets but wanted a quick answer?

Just answered door to a neighbour (who I've never met before) who has accused my cat of attacking his before Christmas and handed me the bill for the vets treatment. It's not a huge amount but how do I know it was my cat for sure?

AIBU to refuse to pay?

OP posts:

Writerwannabe83 · 07/01/2014 16:46

My cat got attacked by my neighbours dog - we were both witness to it as it happened outside my house where I was standing. Treatment came to over £450 and she didn't offer me a penny. When I spoke to her following completion of treatment she just said to me, "Well what do you expect to happen if a dog sees a cat?" The fact her dog hadn't been on a lead in a public street was irrelevant apparently.

It pissed me off that she didn't offer anything towards the fees but only because we knew it was her dog. If it had been the other way round I would definitely have offered to contribute.

However, in your circumstances, without any proof then no I wouldn't be paying anyone's vets bills. If you do it once they will expect it again - it's a slippery slope.

frogwatcher42 · 07/01/2014 16:49

My cat got attacked by neighbours cat. The vet bill was over a thousand pounds!!!

Not knowing what they were arguing about, or who started it, or who was being unreasonable, I decided that I couldn't blame the other cat entirely and paid it myself!!!!!

Just ignore it op - don't pay. You have no proof it was your cat, and even if it was - maybe their cat started it!!!

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 07/01/2014 16:56

He is a loon. Do not pay.

Original poster

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 16:58

Was fully expecting all on here to tell me I was BU and to pay immediately.

Rather than having a confrontation with him I will write a letter and return his bill and wait and see what happens next.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 07/01/2014 16:59

Why write the letter just ignore it ,if he's left you the bill just take it back and tell him that you are not paying .

phantomnamechanger · 07/01/2014 17:01

do not write the letter, do not engage with him, just say its one of those things and just as you have paid for your cats injuries so should he.

phantomnamechanger · 07/01/2014 17:01

or call his bluff and say you are waiting to hear back from your solicitor?

zzzzz · 07/01/2014 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 17:05

Tbh Floral - I don't want another confrontation with him. He was very assertive and off with me in front of my children so I have no idea how he will be if I refuse to pay!

OP posts:

mineofuselessinformation · 07/01/2014 17:05

My advice would be to do absolutely nothing - don't engage at all. Wait to see what happens next....
If he contacts you again, reply that you won't be paying and leave it at that.

Floralnomad · 07/01/2014 17:08

In that case I agree with all the people who have said do nothing and see what he does. If you have the bill I'd be tempted to call the vet and explain that this man has dumped this on you and you will not be paying it ,that way they can contact him ( assuming he's not paid the bill) . If he was that confrontational it might be worth ringing 101 and logging the situation with the local PCSO/ police.

SoupDragon · 07/01/2014 17:10

Ignore it. If he comes back laugh and say "I assumed you were joking because it was such an utterly bonkers thing to say." and shut the door.

Terrortree · 07/01/2014 17:10

My neighbour's cat is the most likely cause of my cat's recent injuries. She and I both know that as we discussed it. Everyone locally knows her cat is a tyrant. No one would have the audacity to suggest she keeps her locked up indoors.

It would never had occurred to me to ask her to contribute the vet's bill. My cat, my responsibility, my problem. As a result I made the decision that my cat should remain an indoor cat for the foreseeable.

I like my neighbour, but regardless of that, I have no place to tell her what to pay, or how to keep her cat.

Your neighbour has been smoking catnip!

MintyChops · 07/01/2014 17:11

You are not responsible for his cat's vet bill, he is. Don't do anything else, see if he comes back/ brings it up again and just say "I will not be paying, I am only responsible for my own cat's vet bills." If he gets aggressive, walk away.

Did you already say you would pay? Just asking as it sounds like he caught you in the hop....

SoupDragon · 07/01/2014 17:11

Or write "I've spoken to my cat and he says that yours started it by calling him a pussy cat"

Original poster

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 17:13

I didn't say I would. I just took the bill off him and got my children indoors.

When he started talking about my cat and brandishing a vets name I thought the cat had been run over, so did both DC and the youngest started crying. So I was so relieved when I realised it wasn't that, that I didn't react properly at all.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 07/01/2014 17:17

So has he paid it and is expecting you to reimburse him or is it the actual vets unpaid bill that you have ?

fluffyraggies · 07/01/2014 17:22

Would you feel better simply doing nothing (as is completely your right) or would you rather 'do something', OP.

I hate hate hate confrontation, but then again i detest injustice and hate having a situation 'hanging over me'. Especially if i'm in the right, as you are! In your position i wouldn't like the fact that doing nothing means you are basically waiting for him to approach you again.

If you feel he was aggressive, and you are nervous, maybe have a word with you local community police? You had your children with you and he was intimidating? Yes, maybe ring the vet yourself and see what they are saying? I'll bet they haven't advised him that it's ok to storm round to you for settling the bill! Bastard!

Original poster

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 17:22

He's expecting me to reimburse him.

It happened before Christmas. About that time my cat did have some injuries that I had to bathe for a few days but didn't need the vet, so I'm guessing it may have been the same incident.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toastandstrawberryjam · 07/01/2014 17:24

Yes I don't want to be waiting for him to knock on the door again. I want to sort it. That's why I thought a nice polite letter.

OP posts:

StrainingWaistband · 07/01/2014 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrazyOldCatLady · 07/01/2014 17:29

I wouldn't mention your cat's injuries and related costs; to me that would suggest that you accept that it's your cat who's been fighting with his.

Notawordfromtheladybird · 07/01/2014 17:29

I show him your vet bills and tell him you've seen a cat attack yours in your garden. Say there's obviously a turf war going on here and if he's willing to reimburse you for your vet bills, you would be willing to reimburse him for his (when the cat fight is witnessed by him in his garden). If he starts asking how can you prove it, ask him the same about his claim. Does he have a video of the cat fight?

Suggest it would be easier to just pay your own bills, as you have been doing, for each of your cats.

He may just be upset that his cat is being injured, period, and is trying to control the situation by placing blame on a human. Maybe suggest he install a cat proof fence to keep his cat in his garden (and keep other cats out).

Lambzig · 07/01/2014 17:38

While I agree with Hoppinggreen, I think that approach takes a lot of guts and I would make myself sick with worry. I would be jumping every time there was a knock on the door.

I would drop a note through his door saying exactly what Hoppinggreen suggests you say face to face and that you aren't going to enter into discussion about it.

KeatsiePie · 07/01/2014 17:39

Lord Toad

I've never had cats but I don't think you are responsible for the bill based on the info. you have now. When you speak to him next, I would tell him what your vet said: "I've taken my cat to the vets a fair few times last year with bite injuries. All of which the vet has said are in places that show he didn't instigate the fight." I feel like he would have to demonstrate that your cat is going over into his cat's territory and attacking him for you to be expected to assume any responsibility.

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