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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to HATE working in an office?

132 replies

HappyGirlNow · 07/01/2014 15:03

With loads of other people.. I find it claustrophobic,irritating and depressing after lots of years of doing it.. I think although I'm confident and will be sociable when required I'm an introvert at heart and am finding it harder and harder to deal with being around people so much, all day, day in day out..

I just want to start my own business, work from home.. Although I'll have to deal with other people I'll be able to get away from them too!

Do other people feel like this?

OP posts:

Laska42 · 08/01/2014 19:39

..But it might be good to work in an office with you lot.. Can we start a company ? I dont know what we would do ,
but there would be :

NO meetings,
No team building days
individual offices , (and loos!)
No making tea for each other,
no staff christmas parties
and No not being able to have a day off. go to the dentist /home early , etc because Mary three rows down has booked that time ..
No rows about heating / opening shutting windows . refilling the photocopier/printer ( wed all have out own natch )

We'd be able to have the radio or music on while we worked , and bring in our slippers if we wanted

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 08/01/2014 19:42

What a fantastic idea Laska Who's up for it????

OP posts:

Wossname · 08/01/2014 19:47

Oh crap, is saying 'have a good weekend' now a moan-worthy thing? I am losing track of the 'inoffensive shit you can say to acquaintances' list.

CailinDana · 08/01/2014 20:10

I've worked in a shop, in lots of different schools as a teacher (special needs and mainstream), in offices in two different universities, and now I'm a SAHM work PT from home. Best place by far was the shop - busy, sociable, different every day, active. But then it was only part time, and was a nice break from university. I probably would have been bored if I'd worked there full time. I find it very hard to focus in offices, I talk too much but working from home can feel a bit directionless and lonely. Teaching was the hardest, followed by being a SAHM, although both of those were the most rewarding. The office work in universities was ridiculously easy, but it was broken up by home visits (as I was a research assistant on a project working with children) so that made it quite fun. Visiting people's homes was really interesting, satisfied my nosiness curiosity for what other people's houses are like!

whomovedmychocolate · 08/01/2014 20:16

Wossname it's fine. But I prefer 'got enough batteries to last you through the weekend Sarah?' etc.

alicetrefusis · 08/01/2014 20:23

I hate hate hate office life too. 25 years in and counting. I hate it for all the reasons everyone has said. To have to spend so much of one's life in the noisy and mindless company of those you would never normally even speak to is an excruciating sort of hell.

Fortunately I have a certain amount of control over where I work, so can occasionally work at home-the utter bliss of this! Or even work in another office where I can be anonymous and away from the usual bores,bigots and arseholes.

I would be up for the new anti office office. Own tiny office please. En suite loo as we'll. such a bore to have to hide on another floor's bog just in case the gastric explosion occurs when close colleague is using same facilities.

And I'll be bringing a dog or two, and maybe one of the cats. And if you're phobic or allergic, don't tell me please. They don't talk loudly or complain about the temperature. Or ask if anyone would like anything from pret. Or at the end of the working day say 'see you later'. (Not likely). Or invite you to 'go on a night out.' Or insist on recounting the plot line of the latest blockbuster film, blow by sodding blow.

I never socialise with colleagues ( sorry 'work colleagues' - tautology, anyone?) ever. Once was one time too many and that was in 2008. Don't send Xmas cards either. Or participate in secret fucking Santa. I really don't care what they think of me. At least I'm honest. Those few I genuinely like know I do as the feelings mutual.

The rest can sod off. :)

Laska42 · 08/01/2014 20:24

oh God... and ther ewill be NO weekly/monthly 1-1's ..death by over management , and totally unnecessary and excruciating.. (and somehow they always manage to get a little personal dig about the way you are in at the end in a 'just meaning to be helpful' way of course)

I do know what I'm doing , (that's why you employed me) so you give me a project tell me what you want and ill deliver .... just like I always have ....ill even send you weekly updates on progress if you feel you need them to manage me , and if it makes you feel justified in your management role ( though quite honestly monthly would be more than adequate)

AND, if I need to talk about it or if I'm having problems ill tell you , Right ?

(Gets coat.....)

TheNunsOfGavarone · 08/01/2014 20:42

No crappy corporate speak please and YY to an office cat; I'll take care of the litter tray

orangestripe · 08/01/2014 20:43

When you have a free 20 mins, I really recommend this fab Ted Talk, which touches on lots of the things the OP and PPs have talked about here.

The Power of Introverts

SaltySeaBird · 08/01/2014 20:46

I worked from home and grew to hate it. I missed needing to put on smarter clothes, the adult interaction, just getting out.

I've recently given it up for a job that is a 2.5 hour round trip commute and really happy to be back in the office. Couldn't do it full time though!

It does depend on the office, I used to work in one that made me miserable.

FreudiansSlipper · 08/01/2014 20:47

yanbu

but i think an office can feel a safe place, same thing day in day out most days and some people like that

i did for a while but soon got bored, i think it was more to do with the job

i am glad i do not anymore and like that my work changes all the time

RandyRudolf · 08/01/2014 20:47

I prefer the company of my cat to most of my work colleagues. Does that make me sad? He listens to my grumbles at the end of each day and doesn't bore me with insignificant things.

alicetrefusis · 08/01/2014 20:54

No Randy you're not sad - you're one of us!

Welcome ( and to Mr Randy Cat too)

Cat flaps on office doors perhaps?

RandyRudolf · 08/01/2014 20:59

shebird · 08/01/2014 21:02

I work with a lovely bunch of people and office life Is mostly ok but I am finding myself less tolerant of things, perhaps it's old age. I find it really hard to concentrate with all the coming and going and constant chatter then I find myself chatting too and nothing gets done or I make mistakes. Also the person sitting next to me speaks really loudly on the phone which is so irritating. All I want is just want peace and quiet.

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 08/01/2014 21:05

I'm exactly the same - just love peace and quiet and preferably in the comfort of my own home with my dogs around me.. Bliss

OP posts:

MarshaBrady · 08/01/2014 21:06

It is bliss isn't it? No noise, I finally had that today after the Christmas holidays. Worked, made a yummy stew, no noise, silence. Bliss!

rubyblue · 08/01/2014 21:08

I've worked in positive and negative offices all my working life, some places I loved, others I hated the back stabbing, the bullying etc. I am extrovert but also like time to myself so much to everyone's surprise I now work from home for a company. Everyone said I would hate it but I find that I am enjoying it,. I don't get involved in the politics or gossip, did not attend the Xmas do but I do enjoy my trips into the office and some banter on the phone so I've got contact. I make. Point of phoning folks rather than emailing. Sometimes I feel isolated but I also have meetings with clients. There are huge benefits to home working, when I get going (and yes it's a struggle sometimes) I can get into the zone and am much more productive in a shorter time whilst having so much more freedom to do things like attend school things, dental appointments etc. I think of the time wasted in offices with chatting and don't feel guilty doing a bit of mn surfing! I will find it hard going back into that nine to five culture.

SaltySeaBird · 08/01/2014 21:09

I can understand as I used to love it. Tidy, peaceful house. Nobody to distract me.

Then I had a baby, who turned into a toddler and our house turned a bit chaotic. While I had childcare while I worked, I needed to get out the house. I needed more of a mental switch than her not being there.

Laska42 · 08/01/2014 21:11

orangestripe Thank you .. that talk by Susan Cain nearly made me cry .. I must go and buy the book ..

( if only I could get my boss to watch that that Ted talk)

What fab people you get on MN...

Xmasbaby11 · 08/01/2014 21:11

YANBU. I guess it's not for everyone. But I do think it's the particular company's office environment/culture you are talking about, not all offices, so I would't rule out an office elsewhere.

I have most taught at universities, where we share offices. Teachers are only at their desks on average 2-4 hours a day, and everyone has individual timetables, so there are different combinations of people at any one time. It is a lovely atmosphere and my colleagues are mostly like-minded individuals. We share ideas and talk, mostly about work, and there are some who are genuine friends. I know this is different from everyone being at their desks 9-5.

I only had an 'office job' once, as an editor, and I didn't get on with it at all. Everyone worked in complete silence and there was very little communication between people generally. No one had any idea what the others were doing. I hated it! But that was on in Britain, so it may be completely different here.

I have also worked at home and didn't like the solitude. I like being around people and the background noise of an office, so would not rush to work from home again.

threestepsforward · 08/01/2014 21:12

I never made it in to 1 of my office jobs on the first day I went all the way in by bus, hopped off at the right stop, crossed the road and went home on the next bus going the opposite way!

How right I was, that job was a nightmare, SO much backstabbing and bitching the minute anyone and everyone left the room. Horrible.

I had an interview for another job and had nothing to wear so ended up wearing my pyjama bottoms, and still got the job I lasted a year in that one, which was my best performance.

Whoever it was who mentioned dreading their birthday party, if it helps, the aforementioned bitch office organised a leaving party for me and I didn't go!

I think I am probably an introvert too. The above makes me sound very flaky, but I have been self-employed for 15 years so I'm sure it was all about the fit, I didn't fit in an office, any office!

RandyRudolf · 08/01/2014 21:20

I had an interview for another job and had nothing to wear so ended up wearing my pyjama bottoms, and still got the job

that is fantastic!

LauraBridges · 08/01/2014 21:23

I've just ordered the book Quiet - thanks to the person who recommended it. I work for myself mostly on my own and it's absolutely wonderful. When I have days like tomorrow with people here I really dread them and suffer them only for the money. I now know what I like and don't like and can organise my life accordingly which is marvellous and one of the nicer things about being over 40.

I think the years in the City in an office were necessary and useful for me in career development terms etc but I am so glad I left that behind. So much of my work can be done by email these days. I'm very lucky.

TheNunsOfGavarone · 08/01/2014 21:30

Cat flaps on office doors is a great idea and those barbarians people who don't like cats can just lock theirs, to stop the cats invading their private space.

I do agree with whoever it was said that offices do at least provide opportunity to wear smarter clothes than one would ordinarily wear at home. I don't like suits, but enjoy the smart-casual stuff in my wardrobe and most of that has stayed unworn since I left my last job.

I am enjoying the discussion about introverts/extroverts and must read that book. These seem to be quite frequently misunderstood concepts.

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