To ask about party etiquitte.

[SwishAndFlick]

DD is turning 5 in a couple of months and this will be her first big party inviting classmates. We've managed to avoid parties so far by going for a special day out but this year she's in reception and has already been to two so is adamant she wants a party.

So I have been looking at funsters / wacky warehouse type places and am not sure what to do.

Dd's class has 42 kids we cannot afford to pay for all of them so thats out, but i was on funsters web and they're doing a package where you book for 20 but only pay for 14. We can afford that but is it a bit mean?

Also do you rent the whole space out so its an exclusive party or will it be ok if there are other kids about?

I never thought I'd be thinking about this as I had parties at home when I was little but our house is too small

I don't think that is mean. Mean would be out of 42 inviting 38...

I hate the whole big party thing, we did it the first year but this year DD is having 6 friends.

Yanbu, not mean at all. Your dd should just in fact choose who she wants. That's reasonable.

I agree, not mean at all. 20 kids is more than fair enough, though I've only done this amount of children on a joint party. Otherwise my DSs get to choose a few close friends and we either take them somewhere fun ( cinema ?) or we do a small party at home - I actually find that less stressful.

Oh god absolutely fine. It's very rare to have whole class parties.

Personally I prefer hiring the space exclusively, but have been invited to many where they don't and it's fine too.

A party for 20 is more than enough! About 10 is perfectly fine for a soft play type party. Remember you will need enough adults to supervise them as well. And totally ok to have other children about.

My experience of the soft play type parties is that you rarely get exclusive use, although there are always exceptions, they don't tend to allow self catering, so not good value for money and things can get tricky when parents bring along uninvited siblings.

if you can afford it a bouncy castle or children's disco in a local church hall or community centre gives better value for money and you would be unrestricted on numbers.

whatever you decide to do i hope your DD has a wonderful day and enjoys her special party.

My DD's have never been to an exclusive-use soft play party.

Inviting half the class (or less) is fine. Don't get sucked into 'whole class' parties just because others are.

That sounds fine - get her to draw up a list - maybeask the teachers to check that she hasn't left anyone out that she plays with a lot (our teachers were happy to do this). Try not to invite e.g.20/21 girls as that might be seen as unfair.

Our house is v small too but once they reach yr 1/2 they have been able to name 5/6 friends and we have them at home. Also by that age the parents just drop and go.

For exclusive access obviously in some ways it is nice but it depends on the cost, and generally by 5 they can hold their own in soft play area. Be aware too that parents might leave them so ensure that you have enough adult help. Also if you haven't hired it all out it is easier to say to parents that they can pay for siblings if they want to stay. If you hire the place exclusively then you might end up paying for extra siblings.

How on earth does your daughter's class have 42? I take it there are two class teachers?

I like soft play type parties. Someone else does all the work and the kids have a great time running about.

Inviting half the class is fine. Especially if your daughter is able to go through and pick all her friends.

If this is your first party, then this is what I find. Hardly anyone RSVPs. You will have to grab parents at school gates, or if that's not possible leave follow up notes in bags. But I would say that overall at least a couple of those who say they will go wont and of those that don't reply at least a cou

Thanks for the input. I have asked dd who she wants to invite and its about 16 kids. Most of the names do seem familiar so hopefully will be ok.

I was a bit worried about not exclusively hiring the place out but it looks like it would be ok with other children there. So thanks. Looking forward to next year when DD might be happy with a fun day with a couple of friends.

Couple turn up. I would be inclined to invite 18 as at least one person will turn up with a sibling mostly because they just don't have any option and then you've got the chance to let them in too.

NynaevesSister, there are essentially 2 classes side by side but do most things as a whole. There are 2 teachers yes and 3 Ta's.

Op, have you looked at local authority parties at a leisure centre? I've booked an hours soft play and an hours party room from a local leisure centre. Exclusive use of both rooms. I can have up to 25 children and it is the best value option where we are. I have to provide food and party bags myself though.

You can't possibly invite 42 five-year olds to a party. I agree 38 would be mean but 20 is fine.

I'm not sure if you are aware but you have practically given out your location. Only 3 Funsters actually exist. I know of them because I live in (presumably) the same location as you.

So the OP must live in proximity to three locations in the UK?