To wish ex had of discussed this with me first

[Greentoothbrush]

Ex started seeing dcs after not being in their lives for 2 years, in sept. Eldest still not 100% sure on him! but is amusing him! seemingly happy enough. they are under the age of 6 btw. (For the record I'm happily seeing someone else and Ttc)
Ex and I aren't on great terms, but hold lengthy conversations at the door over disputes, divorce etc.
one day we have an hr long conversation after he drops them off, we discuss a lot of things that we haven't been agreeing on I.e 1 dc feeling left out due to exes stepchild.
The next day he drops them off... "I've told the kids, just now in the car on the way over, it might be bitter for you to hear, but gf is pregnant". Turns out she's only a few weeks... And he told them while driving?! So he couldn't comfort or gage how they were taking the news.
Aibu? I feel he should have told me and discussed when would have been best for them to know? Due to dc feeling left out.
Dc is now angrier than before!
I'm not bitter, before that's suggested, I just think that as it effects my dcs I should have been at least told first? I would have done him that same favour had it been me. Infact I have gone to him to tell him about dp and his dc because I felt he had a right to know?
As I said we are Ttc ATM, should I just not tell him should it happen, and tell the kids when I feel it's right?
No only this, she is no spring chicken, I have mc too, it happens! How is he going to explain that to young kids?!?

My ex told our dc him and his gf were pg, they'd only been together 6 weeks.
He never told me, and neither did they, they.were worried that I'd be upset so didn't tell me. As a result they had no one they could talk to about it.
It was only when I was talking to ex on the phone about maintenance and he mentioned "the baby" that I knew!

Personally I think you should tell the kids when you are ready, and then let him know.

Yep I think he is BU for telling them before she is 12 weeks. And a bit weird that he decided to tell them in the car.

You need to invite him in properly not discuss on the doorstep if he is going to be really involved in their lives.

He was thoughtless but as they are under 6 it probably won't go too deep.

Tell him how you feel and tell him to be a bit more thoughtful. Hope no real harm done and good luck TTc.

Bodypopper - he there was dv so I am not comfortable having him in my space, I tried it before and it just made him feel he could talk down to me, whereas at the front door neighbours will hear if he kicks off.
He sees them 4 times a month, calls a few times. So not fully in lives and once baby is here I doubt contact will be as often tbh - long distances involved.
Thanks for the well wishes

Sorry, eldest is nearly 7, fat fingers on iPad lol

R.E. telling them in the car- you do realise he did that so you would have to deal with the aftermath, don't you?

Jess I did think that, but for some reason after being a glass half empty person all my life I was hoping I was wrong on that.

quite often the only place I actually talk to the children is in the car....

It is very faintly possible he is guilty of being silly idiot rather than manipulative bastard on this occasion.