I have officially lost my identity!

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

Have just received a copy of the minutes from ds's annual statement review. Under list of people attending it says
Attending:
Mrs X (class teacher)
Miss Y (Teaching Assistant)
Mrs Z (Senco)
Mum

Mum? Just mum? Not Mrs Cats (mum) just mum. It's really irked me.

It would irk me. I object to being called mum by anybody apart from my DCs. It should have been as you suggest.

That is horrid :( Apart from the obvious "Whose mum?" it's a tad disrespectful. If it had your name then "DS's mum" in brackets or something that would be understandable, when so many families have several different surnames nowadays, but just "mum" is really off.

Pfft I had to introduce myself at my son's statement review...

Apparently she was getting to me but had done the whole table (7 people!) and the apologies so I don't believe that for a second.

I am named in the minutes though...

Gives me the rage. It may not be intentional, but it's so patronising. Especially when you are actually the expert for your DC, and are probably much better read up on his issues than they are.

I'd send it back edited "Ms Ifcats, Little Cat's Mother".

That's very poor.

Thing is the school is actually really lovely and welcoming. I think it might be a misguided attempt to keep things informal and friendly which would be fine if they wanted to call me by my first name (that wouldn't bother me at all) in fact everyone was referred to by their first name during the meeting but I remained 'mum' throughout.

I think that's what irks me Ellen. It feels patronising when in fact I am the one who flagged up DS's difficulties, chased a diagnosis, set in motion a statement, put in place speech therapy and OT. I don't want a medal for that but you are right in that I feel better qualified than anyone else there when it comes to my son.

They are all genuinely good people though so won't make an issue out of it but it is rather deflating in a way.

I'd still mention it, though. If they are really lovely, they won't mind being told that you find it a bit lot patronising.

Obviously, throw it in with some positives as well, so they can feel good about themselves. You wouldn't want them to think it was the most important issue that you took away from the review.

Hmm, they're always sending out questionnaires might put it on one of those as a helpful suggestion

Coward!

Tad rude really and seems to relegate you to the person that has to just listen and be talked to by the professionals.

Also think your proper name with mum in brackets should be top of the list.

When I wrote annual reviews for children in my class I never eve wrote "mum" due to it being so informal. It was always mrs x, or y's mother.

When I wrote annual reviews for children in my class I never eve wrote "mum" due to it being so informal. It was always mrs x, or y's mother.

I wouldn't mind be referred to as 'mum' in conversation, but in writing I would feel it's a it's a bit wrong. Yanbu.

To be fair, with so many parents having different surnames to their children these days.. they were probably just playing safe.

But Squeaky there's only one Mum in the room - really how hard is it for the minute taker to capture the correct name? I bet it's right there un the child's file.

I think it's part of the original draft that's not been corrected. Maybe the author didn't know mum's name at the time, especially as it wasn't used at the meeting, and then forgot to update it later. Definitely ask for it to be changed. I'm sure there's no offence intended.

I can accept it in conversation squeaky but these were typed minutes that were done after the meeting so very easy for whoever to check my name.

I thinkits a bit twee but I think it's meant well. I might mention how I prefer to be called but. It wouldn't nother me at all.

Unless they're planning to address letters to

"Mum
33 Acacia Avenue
etc"

then they need to have the parent's name on file - and what's more, be confident they've got it correct.

If they were in doubt as to the parent's name, they should have seized the opportunity of the actual meeting to check their info. Which they would need to do anyway because they should have been using your name when speaking to you.

Is it one of those twee informally written reports like the activity notes for a child at nursery that are written in the first person?

Is it written in comic sans?

Not very professional is it, Mum? [sorry]

That does seem a bit lacking in formality.

On my sons statement reviews I am "mrs whats4teamum (parent)"

Ha ha Uri, maybe I should suggest they add a bit of clip art too next time!

YNBU. Dd is under medical professionals for Various reasons and I get Mum off the School SENs and the Hospital all the time. It irks me but I've reluctantly got used to it. In fact her Consultant threw me the other week when she addressed me as Pixie. .