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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

O find time alone with my baby boring

60 replies

Feckadeck · 06/01/2014 22:51

I feel guilty! On mat leave for at least another 9 months and I was bored to death by 3pm today! Rest of day not bad as household chores to be done, feeding, naps, etc, but that 2hrs before DH got in dragged :( Now wondering how I will get through another 9 months of similar days. I've never had time at home like this since I got first job at 16 now 35. Not sure point of post just a moan really! It's bloody hard work trying to keep baby entertained when all I want to do is mn and sleep!

OP posts:

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 07/01/2014 00:39

How old is she?

Bodypopper · 07/01/2014 00:42

Pssst, you don't have to be a buntlines red coat 24/7.

Put the tv on for you, get a cuppa, toys for baby to play with or put in cot/playpen and have some mommy time.

Also get out of the house. Get a friend round.

Babies do not need constant stimulation or attention. They really don't. Play for a while and then have a rest.

mrsjay · 07/01/2014 08:45

how old is your daughter is she a toddler dont stay home with them you dont need to go to every baby group going though just do things with them both, what sort of meltdowns does your dd have you cant keep her in either

AmandaCooper · 07/01/2014 08:52

Not boring but exhausting and stressful. I went back to work. Is that an option?

pinkdelight · 07/01/2014 09:18

YANBU. Sure your baby doesn't need entertaining. Sure, go out to groups, do a spot of baby massage, but my happiest memories are of DS sleeping on a pillow or being bf while I watched oodles of great films and boxsets. Entertain yourself!

pinkdelight · 07/01/2014 09:20

(and before anyone freaks out about the pillow, I mean a pillow on the floor right next to me or on my lap, completely safe)

Artandco · 07/01/2014 09:26

I hate baby groups etc..

So spent baby days in cinemas, museums, coffee shops and random trips to visit friends and family either across uk or Europe ( lucky to afford I know).
I also took up jogging with baby from 6 months as walked every day before so we would spend an hour a day doing that. And would take swimming with dh in eve ( so we could take turns actually swimming)

mrsjay · 07/01/2014 09:28

yeah baby groups really are not for everybody I didnt like them but i did try and get out most days i preferred toddler play groups

Ragwort · 07/01/2014 09:30

Don't you go out? ?

I lived in a small community when I had my DS but I did loads - there is always some sort of voluntary work to do (I did meals on wheels, the old folk loved meeting my DS, community driving, set up a mother a toddler group, wrote the community news letter etc etc etc). We went for a four mile walk every day, met up with other people (not necessarily mothers and babies), shopping, library, mooching around. Local leisure centre had a creche so I could do exercise whilst baby was taken care of. Swimming classes for baby. And I reiterate, I lived in a very rural part of the country, no cinema for miles .

Cbeebijeebies · 07/01/2014 09:32

I hated the first year tbh, despite loving him like no one else on this earth!

I was single, which obviously adds to that but it was mostly because he couldn't do much, I couldn't do much and I didn't like baby groups.

It does get some much better though

jammiedonut · 07/01/2014 09:32

They are far more interesting IMO past six months. Not as fragile, generally noisier and active. Ds was terribly unsettled for first few months and I was having a horrendous time (later diagnosed with pnd). It was certainly a cruel joke indeed that when I finally started to enjoy my baby I was due back at work! Try and get out, do stuff for you, not just for baby. For example, I love to read but I found getting the time to read was difficult with a newborn, but got stuck into audiobooks instead when taking him for walks, doing housework etc.

Overreactionoftheweek · 07/01/2014 09:36

Sometimes going out can feel too hard, but it really is worth doing. And you have to suck up being ignored at play groups if your child likes it...am about to dive back into that fun world after giving myself some time off from it.

But I totally agree that they don't need constant entertaining and stimulation. I'm never sure if I'm just lucky that ds is happy to entertain himself because he inherited my genes or if I inadvertently trained him cos I expected him to...the nature/nurture debate!

NurseRoscoe · 07/01/2014 09:36

I understand the guilty feeling!! But you don't need to feel this way, before babies are responsive and 'play' with you they are pretty boring! My eldest is two now and is loads of fun to spend time with so it does get better, if you have a baby who sleeps a lot use the time for some time to yourself, reading or watching a film, a very little baby will be more than happy with a cuddle when he or she wakes up, my littlest is 6 months old and will still snuggle up with me for ages when I'm doing my uni work :)

mrsjay · 07/01/2014 09:41

babies are like puppies they need entertained in short bursts or they get over stimulated

lilyaldrin · 07/01/2014 09:43

Hanging round the house all day is boring, baby or not.

Try not to become Entertainer Mum, or you will end up with a 3 year old who can't play alone for 2 minutes!

Sit on the sofa feeding, eating cake and watching Breaking Bad from the beginning.
Get a sling, go for walks/to museums/galleries etc.
Make some new friends - baby groups or Netmums meet up pages are good for this
Go with new friends to cafes, or invite round for coffee
Baby Cinema
Go swimming - either with the baby, or leave the baby in the creche while you swim

Wevet · 07/01/2014 09:50

When my son was small (well, he's still only one, come to think of it), I was a non-driver newly moved from central London to a small Midlands village where we knew no one, in a particularly snowy mid-winter. Apart from one baby group once a week, there was literally nothing to do outside the house, as it was too snowy for the pushchair, the single street was about a quarter of a mile long before turning into an A road with no footpath, and a tangle of narrow rural lanes with no footpaths, and he got too cold in the backpack if I walked out into the fields.

I will never forget how awful it was.

2beornot · 07/01/2014 09:51

I loved my mat leave but I did have to get out of the house every day. I know weather is shite now, but timing afternoon naps with a trip to the park/cafe with your book is a good one. Swimming? Special cinema screening?

And the time between afternoon nap and daddy coming home is always the longest most boring part of the day. Make sure you haven't worn yourself out!

SomethingOnce · 07/01/2014 10:02

Babies are sweet, but not great conversationalists.

I was so glad of cafés. And chatty strangers.

BadgerFace · 07/01/2014 10:07

TheABC Most cinemas have specific baby viewings where you have to have a baby under 1 to get in so everyone's in the same boat and it doesn't matter if you need to feed them, go change them, stand in the aisle rocking them etc... We've been going nearly every week since my DD was 3 weeks old and she is just one. We now sit down the front with her on a playmat with toys with some of our friends. Much easier to eat popcorn now!

Feckadeck They get more fun once they are more interactive! I used to find it hard to entertain DD all day and 4pm-6pm before DH got home was definitely the hardest time. But now it's filled with her playing and laughing and doing tea it's much better!

justwondering72 · 07/01/2014 11:33

with Ds2 I basically bfd away the first six months so that I could spend the maximum time on the sofa, reading and watching box sets on DVD. then when he was awake if put him in a bouncy chair and talk to him while I cooked / showered / tidied / ironed etc. still nursing him now at three, mostly because it is the only time I get to put my feet up! it actually got harder as he has got older, I go a bit mad trying to entertain an active three year old,I found the baby stage easier as I am essentially lazy and cba going to the park every single day.

Xmasbaby11 · 07/01/2014 11:51

I think at that age you can do anything with them. I spent a lot of time meeting friends for coffee, going to the cinema and going for walks/shopping. Being out and about means that the time at home is less and you really enjoy just having a cuddle/watching them do tummy time. They don't need a lot of activities until 6 months or so.

One thing I would say is, when you socialise, don't just do it with other mums as baby talk will get very boring. Whenever possible meet pre-baby friends. This kept me sane (although I loved having mum friends too).

MillionPramMiles · 07/01/2014 12:01

If you're lucky enough to have a baby that naps during the day and doesn't scream in the pram get out and about.

Talk to staff at Childrens centres if other mums appear unfriendly (personally I found everyone was only too happy to have some adult conversation and a moan about sleep deprivation).
Try classes where someone else entertains your baby for half an hour (for a price). Try to go out for lunch/coffee at nap times if baby will sleep in the pram, even if you're on your own. Try walks in parks or to the shops. Try for at least one thing everyday unless the weathers too bad to get out.

It does get better. I couldn't wait to get back to work though to be honest, guess it depends on your job/colleagues.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/01/2014 21:51

lilyaldrin - Excellent advice there! Especially eating cake on the sofa while watching Breaking Bad from the start! Oh, happy days!

coco44 · 07/01/2014 21:53

YANBU and that is why people go back to work!
However to be fair they doi get more interesting as they get older

WitchWay · 07/01/2014 22:07

I hated the baby stage - just a necessary phase to be endured in order to get a child IMO - loved the toddling (well bum-shuffling) learning to talk parts so much more.

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