to be annoyed that DH tells the children not to hold bannisters due to germs

[rac321]

We were in a hotel and DS (aged 3) and DD (aged 5) were walking down the stairs holding the bannister. DH tells them to take their hands off the bannister as it's not clean. There was no visible dirt but he was worried about DS and DD getting germs on their hands by holding a public bannister. To me this seems madness as surely they are better holding on to a bannister than falling down stairs. But DH says I should be more concerned about them getting germs on their hands and putting their hands in their mouths and getting sick.
We both think the other is wrong - opinions pls

He is being an idiot. We are surrounded by germs and bacteria everywhere, whether it is on banisters or anywhere else. They are in far more danger of falling and breaking their legs, arms, even necks if they do not hold the banister. He would then be to blame for that.

I don't normally advocate telling the kids to ignore the other parent, but in your situation I would do it because he is being such an arse.

Have you asked him how he feels about your children opening doors, playing in a sandpit , touching lift buttons, other children's toys, or any of the million other places they could (and do) come into physical contact with germs every day?

But DH says I should be more concerned about them getting germs on their hands and putting their hands in their mouths and getting sick.

Whatever you do they will get sick sometimes.

Bannisters are very good at preventing falls down stairs which could result in broken bones or even death if you're very unlucky.

HIBU

YANBU

Your DH should concentrate on encouraging children not to put their hands in their mouths!

How are children meant to get down stairs safely if they don't hold the bannister??

YANBU.

Yes, bannisters can be germy (as can lots of other things) and personally, I don't like to touch them myself unless the stairs seem particularly dangerous - but - I'm an adult with decades of practice at using stairs. I always tell DS1 to hold the bannisters.

Given the ages your DC are at, I'd agree that the risk of them falling down the stairs far outweighs the risk of them picking up anything nasty from the bannisters. Just make sure that they wash their hands before they eat!

I have a friend whose 18-month-old can't walk down stairs (with or without bannisters) as they are too dangerous and is currently being trained to air-kiss people to avoid germs. Maybe if you just carried your children around all the time and taught them not to touch anything you could avoid both pitfalls! Only joking, but I am do err on the side of carefree (careless ?) parenting rather than protective parenting.

655 people in the UK died in falls on stairs in England and Wales in 2010.

I know of many companies where not holding on to the banister would be a breach of safety rules similar to not wearing a hard hat on site, I even know of one where they specified how you had to hold it to minimise the chance of injuring your wrist if you slipped. This applies out in factories and in offices. It's an important safety habit to cultivate. Falling down stairs can kill you, I doubt whether anything you would catch off a banister would. YANBU.

Your DH is being ludicrous, as all the PPs have said. Banisters are no more or les germs than any of the hundreds of other things your children touch - and that includes their siblings, friends and even your DH.

Seriously, where did you find him OP?!

Is your dh ott about other things aswell?

tell him to learn some science or get his phobia sorted, whichever applies.

terrible example to set.

Is your dh Howard Hughes?

chemenger - yes - I'm guessing from your name you know rather a lot about HSE in hazardous workplaces. My DH used to work for a large chemical company, apparently staircases were the biggest source of accidents, much worse than anything on the plant!

Hope he doesn't use ATM machines. They are really germy and manky

Has he made sure they haven't played with/ touched the TV remote/Door knob/Telephone. He'd also better make sure money doesn't pass through their hands either....

Or keyboards.

Has your DH always been like this about germs? Is there any possibility he has OCD? In which case he probably needs some help to deal with the thoughts. Encouraging children not to hold onto something which is there for their safety is obviously not good and YA definitely NBU.

Please don't let your DH put his hang ups onto the kids. I have ( fairly mild) OCD - mostly in relation to checking rather than germs - and I do everything in my power not to expose this to my DCs. I do believe that phobias/ocd can be passed onto DCs ( quite a few OCD sufferers in my wider family).

As a result I am very lax about hand washing as I know the minute I start worrying myself and the DCs, it will spiral out of control. IME the impact of cleanliness/checking/AN Other OCD symptom becoming 'a thing' is much worse than the odd tummy bug or tap left on.

I read that in the UK 300 a year die from falling down the stairs...

No helpful comment but just to say at first I read "barristers". Barristers do come into contact with a lot of germs though as meet lots of different people during the day and usually use a lot of public transport...

Why can't they touch lamp posts? (Nosy emoticon)

Nothing to add except weight of numbers. He is being very unreasonable and ridiculous.

I can see both points of view, so not going to declare any of you as BU.

I don't like touching public handrails neither but don't tell anyone else not to do so.

I got a bit OCD about cleanliness after Ds had a recurring problem with bloody worms, it near sent me crazy.

I read barristers too Mim

Oh, Yanbu OP.

This sounds like a serious phobia to me. I am emetophobic and suffer terrible anxiety about stomach bug viruses on surfaces. I wash my hands about 50 times a day. To me he is not being unreasonable at all but I know that's my phobia speaking. Yanbu, please try to make sure he doesn't pass it on to yr dc, as it is a bloody miserable way to live