AIBU to not want to go....

[CaractacusPotts]

A group of girlfriends are having a couple of days away in London. The plan is "a few drinks" on one night and "a meal" on the other!

AIBU to not really want to go? I can do both of those in my home or any other generic town. I can't decide if that's not really why you would go to London or if I am being a snob!

Come on, I can take it on the chin

Well it all depends on what floats your boat really. I'd love a weekend away in London, socialising with friends at night and wandering around the art galleries & parks by day. I'd get out my good food guide and plan all my meals in advance.

See brag that sounds pretty good! I fear that this weekend would not involve 'good food', 'are galleries' or 'parks'!

I only really know one of the group well but I suspect it's a 'piss up' weekend!

I'm questioning my snobbery but at the end of the day what's the point in forking out for the time off if I'm not gonna enjoy it!

Le sigh!

YANBU not to want to go if that's how you feel. If you're some distance away, and it involves an overnight stay and significant
expense you can formulate a reasonable and polite refusal as I see it.

I've already said I'd go sooty before I realised the plans!!

Certainly no point in throwing money at an activity that doesn't appeal. Snobbery has nothing to do with it.

Ouch. If you've already said you'll go I think that alters things somewhat. (X post there)

Make your excuses. Iv finally learnt to do as I please and not to be a doormat just to please ithers life's too short, if you dont wanna go then dont. Iv spent years going to functions just because I thought I should and not because iv wanted too . This year im being tough

*others not ithers!

honey surely refusing an invitation is one thing, but reneging on something you've previously agreed to is more problematic?

I may be drop feeding here to which I apologise if so but nothing has been booked yet, I've only agreed to go. Then as I started to learn of the plans I've been questioning whether I actually want to.

Sorry if I haven't made things clear - don't know if that changes opinions!

Drip*

In that case I think I'd tell them that as the proposed arrangements have become clearer you don't think it's something you'd enjoy much and on reflection not something you really want to invest that amount of time and money on. You're letting them know at an early stage after all.

Apologies, if you had already booked then that changes things abit but if you have only talked about it then I can't see a problem. Just explain that after giving it some thought you cant afford it or cant be arsed

Just say that you are feeling the pinch after all that Christmas spending & that you can't afford it. This is a perfectly reasonable reason not to bankrupt yourself further & be involved in a pubcrawl

Hmm, can you not be involved in the day plans before you commit? TBH, if you'd spent the day doing things, then just going for a few drinks one night and a nice meal the next would be fine. I used to live in London and friends would often come to stay with the most ridiculously overly complex plan of what they'd do because they were in London and you had to schedule London things every second... If you (and any of the others who want to do it) have spent the day going round art galleries or museums or going on walking tours (can recommend that actually) then your evening probably will need to be low key. I've sat in the theatre on a Saturday evening after a day out entertaining visitors and been so bone achingly tired it's felt like a waste of time.

Clarify what the others want to do in the day, or if they want to do different things, if you'll all split up and then meet up for dinner, then decide if you fancy it. Or if there's something you want to do in he evenings (a specific show you fancy seeing?) then suggest it to the group.

I don't see the point in going to London, Manchester, Leeds, Birmingham etc just to have a meal and/or get drunk.
You can do that anywhere!!
However, if you are going to do something touristy or cultural as well then fine. I went on a hen do to Dublin once and upset everyone by suggesting we actually leave the pub at some point!!!

If its not your thing, just say no. Like me and hen parties. I cannot bear them, not a huge drinker. So I just say no at the first hint. See also party plan