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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give a mobile phone to my 6 (almost 7) yo?

69 replies

MsMarshmallow · 05/01/2014 16:29

Part of me thinks it's unreasonable, but I'm going back to full time job and we're going to be apart for most part of the day. I think it would reassure her and also give me peace of mind if she had a very simple mobile phone with preconfigured numbers that she could use to call me in case of emergency or if she gets really upset.

Of course, I can also see this not working and I don't even know what the policy is in her school. Hmm

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 05/01/2014 18:06

I would go with your own feelings and the maturity of the child. I have always insisted my children had the means to contact us irrespective of the views of the school. However your child is younger than ours when this happened, but I do not think it unreasonable for you to do this. Unfortunately it may be too much to expect that a 7 year old could keep a phone secure without the school being aware.
My daughter was in an interesting scenario when it was HER phone that rescued a school group when she wasn't meant to have a phone with her!!!

GlitzAndGiggles · 05/01/2014 18:31

Surely whoever is minding her would call you in an emergency?

Nanny0gg · 05/01/2014 18:40

School won't let her have it during the day. Mine only allowed Years 5 & 6 to even bring them in (Year 4s don't go home alone) and they go to the office every morning.

Blooming nuisance to be honest.

And even if they did, why would you want her running to you with every tiny thing? How will she learn to sort things out herself? And surely, you're apart now when she's at school?

As to emergencies - shouldn't the adult she's with deal with them? Or are you expecting them to have a seizure or a stroke whilst they're looking after her?

Nanny0gg · 05/01/2014 18:41

I have always insisted my children had the means to contact us irrespective of the views of the school.

Really?

Way to go with supporting the school there.
why was it necessary?

TheNightIsDark · 05/01/2014 18:42

How is she coping now without speaking to you during the school day?
This is insane. Phones are a means of independence for an older child. Not because you don't trust whoever it is you've hired to look after your DD properly.

SoupDragon · 05/01/2014 18:45

Absolutely madness. No 7 year old needs a phone.

Juno77 · 05/01/2014 18:47

Oh dear god.

You need to let your DD go a bit. She's a human, an individual, she will cope without you. You are being overprotective, precious and self indulgent.

You are really pandering to a very disturbing notion that a 7yo child needs constant contact with their mother. I worry for your child actually.

foreverondiet · 05/01/2014 18:50

Well she can't use it at school.

My dd (10) and Ds (7) have an iPod /iPad and viber works on them (also iMessage) they often message me when they get home from school or during day on school holidays.

heartshape · 05/01/2014 18:51

got to be a joke surely , a 7 yr old would not be alone in school or after , sometimes wish my teens never had one , i worry more when they dont answer.

kinkyfuckery · 05/01/2014 18:52

Eh? Are you planning on leaving her alone at home all day or something?

everlong · 05/01/2014 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lucyccfc · 05/01/2014 18:55

I gave my DS my old phone when he was 7, however, it was only to take to his Dad's every other weekend. His Dad never has credit on his phone, so DS had no way of speaking to me whilst he was at his Dad's, or if there was a problem - his Dad can be a bit of a prat at times.

Other than that, it stays in the cupboard at home. At 7, he does not need a phone at school, if there is a problem, school will contact me. If he is out playing, he is never more than about 500 yards away from the house. If he is at child minders, she can contact me.

I really don't understand why children of this age need a mobile, in most instances.

Littlefish · 05/01/2014 18:56

She doesn't need one.
This is about your needs, not hers.

Dromedary · 05/01/2014 20:10

Last I heard government advice was that under 16s shouldn't have a mobile, due to the risk of brain cancer (higher in children, thin skulls, developing brains).

newnameforthenewyear · 05/01/2014 20:26

I think it's sensible, and that people who don't think it is are just being snotty about young children and mobiles. I'd give my child a simple mobile, programmed to ring only his parents, and with those numbers stored in it. handing it in at the office during school hours is fine, but I don't think the school have any right to say that any child can't have a phone before and after school.

Personally, once children start going to friends' houses etc without me, I'd rather they could contact me independently and are not reliant on another adult to do so. Not that they'd ring me every five minutes, but of there's a problem and they feel they need me, I want them to have access to me. That's not getting in the way of their independence, it's letting them know I'm always there if they need me, which in turn will make them more confident and independent.

The same people saying this is stupid will be the people who won't let their children play outside because of stranger danger. We all know that most child abusers are someone known to the child, probably someone the parents trust. So on that basis alone I'd rather my child could contact me if they felt uncomfortable in a situation. But that's the extreme - there are a million other reaons why my child might need to talk to me.

DamnBamboo · 05/01/2014 20:36

The same people saying this is stupid will be the people who won't let their children play outside because of stranger danger Hmm

Err, no! My children play outside all the time, I actively encourage and they are allowed up and down our quiet cul-de-sac with all the other kids!

It is plain ridiculous to suggest a child of that age needs a mobile when the long-term risks aren't known! Read the earlier link.

Independence? So ringing mummy every time they're upset will foster that... yes ok then [hmm}

Any anyway, surely you would only leave your child with an adult you trusted, and who would phone you if required?

DamnBamboo · 05/01/2014 20:37

Last I heard government advice was that under 16s shouldn't have a mobile, due to the risk of brain cancer (higher in children, thin skulls, developing brains

This is true. But no doubt it's some bizarre conspiracy theory Hmm

Hissy · 05/01/2014 20:41

This is all about the OP's insecurity/guilt/whatever, not the safety of the child.

The child will be at school (so if there was any need to contact you/her, you'd be contactable)

If she has a CM, if there is a problem, the CM will call.

There is never, at any time, a moment where your child will be vulnerable and alone.

Don't buy a mobile, it's not necessary.

You will miss her/wonder about her, we do think about our babies when we're at work, and especially at the beginning, or if they're a bit off colour/upset etc, but our job is to teach them to be independent and be able to handle situations.

She's not alone, she's being cared for.

purplebaubles · 05/01/2014 20:46

Personally, once children start going to friends' houses etc without me, I'd rather they could contact me independently and are not reliant on another adult to do so.

I'd rather know whose house they were going to, and trust the parents of that child. If you don't, why the hell would you let your 7 yr old child go there??!!

There are some seriously bizarre views on this thread.

No 7 yr old needs a phone. End of.

SoupDragon · 05/01/2014 20:55

Yes, I tend not to send my 7 yr old to places where I do not trust those who are in charge of her.

TheLostPelvicFloorOfPoosh · 05/01/2014 21:01

DamnBamboo that was a really interesting link, I had no idea - thank you for posting

soverylucky · 05/01/2014 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameIncomplete · 05/01/2014 21:25

My dds friend got a mobile when she was 7 or 8. Her mum gave it to her so mum could contact dds friend when she was out playing.

This doesnt seem too bad however dds friend used to switch the phone off if she was going places she wasnt meant to. Meaning the phone was useless.

Why does a child that age need a phone?

Nanny0gg · 05/01/2014 23:21

Why does a child that age need a phone?

Simple. They don't.

The same people saying this is stupid will be the people who won't let their children play outside because of stranger danger.

Utter nonsense. More likely to be people who will let their children play out because they're not paranoid.

And I wouldn't want my 7 year-old playing out being worried about not losing their phone! I'd just want them to play!

notallthere · 06/01/2014 00:08

If she is never on her own (and a 6 year old shouldn't be on their own anyway) she doesn't need a phone.

I assume you will be working full time on weekdays, during which time she will be in school, looked after by a number of responsible qualified adults. If there was a need to contact you e.g. if she had an accident, the school would contact you. No point in her having a phone really.

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