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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is utterly bizarre and unfair?

60 replies

VulvaVoom · 05/01/2014 12:50

I was looking up prices of a local adventure park place (the kind that has lots of land, farmyard animals, rides etc) and this was in with the entrance fee info:

'We are sorry but we are unable to let single MEN OR WOMEN without children into the park. If you are here to meet someone let one of our reception staff know and they will happily do a tannoy asking them to come and meet you'

AIBU to find this utterly odd and unfair? Perhaps they've had a problem with predatory paedophiles in the past? Confused

Imagine if, as an individual you went there for a wander/look at the animals/coffee and they wouldn't let you in.

I'm not the type to overreact but this certainly surprised me!

OP posts:
Misspixietrix · 05/01/2014 16:48

I know someone who meets her DD and GD at a similar place once a month. Can just imagine her having her name shouted over the tannoy Blush.

HermioneWeasley · 05/01/2014 16:50

The Diana Memorial playground in Kensington is the same - you can't get in without kids. But I guess that is more understandable because it is a playground so no reason to be there without.

AnitaManeater · 05/01/2014 16:55

I think I know the place you mean. Near the seaside yes? The rule is ridiculous and a bit 'peadogedden' and me and DP were quite shocked when we saw it and wondered how such discrimination was allowed. There is nothing of any interest to a lone adult there but that's so not the point.

SaucyJack · 05/01/2014 16:59

Doesn't bother me. I would assume that they wanted to cater only to families with children, and I can perfectly understand why. Doesn't necessarily mean it's anything to do with the paedofiddlers at all.

chocolatemademefat · 05/01/2014 17:17

Is it only me or is there actually sense in this rule? What if the rule wasnt in place and a child was attacked in a quiet corner or went missing? no use being wise after the event. i take children to playrooms and often see single men in the play area and it makes me uncomfortable until i can be sure they are accompanying a child. Is the park in question not primarily meant for families/people with children? Spoke to my DH about this and he said no way would he go to a place like this on his own as he would definately feel uncomfortable.
The hurt feelings of a few people are nothing compared to the anguish felt when something happens to a child.
Im surprised the people responding are so liberal with their views - not the mumsnet I know. Get your heads out of the sand and be sensible.

Pipbin · 05/01/2014 17:24

Not all single childless men are kiddy fiddlers you know. My DH gets very upset that people take the default position that all men are abusers.
There are not peados hiding behind every bush.

I think this policy sounds like guilty until proven innocent.

BuffyxSummers · 05/01/2014 17:24

Be sensible? You are aware that it's not only single men who could attack a child in a quiet corner? It's creating a false safety net to assume that a man is automatically safe just because they are accompanied by a child the way you do. Some men will even use their child as bait to get another child to go with them. Get your head out of the sand and be sensible.

Pipbin · 05/01/2014 17:26

Also, most children who are abused by people known to them, not some random stranger.
And yes, just because someone is a parent it doesn't mean they won't do anything.

MrsDeVere · 05/01/2014 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 05/01/2014 17:30

'What if the rule wasnt in place and a child was attacked in a quiet corner or went missing? no use being wise after the event'

So, that means not taking your children anywhere there could be a predatory single person mooching around then?

I don't think my views are particularly liberal at all, it seems totally Shock to me to exclude individuals and very extreme too.

OP posts:
Original poster
VulvaVoom · 05/01/2014 17:32

Also, I'll admit I'm the sort of person who might be suspicious of men hanging around on their own near children but this is akin to shouting 'PAEDO, PAEDO, RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!'

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 05/01/2014 17:34

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure DS pointed out to me recently that Lego Land has a no unaccompanied adults policy.
I can see both sides really. These are child based activities.

morethanpotatoprints · 05/01/2014 17:35

I have been to similar places that have had this rule and it was due to people meeting inside and becoming intoxicated, its probably been used as a meeting place for stag/hen parties etc. It's surprising where they meet.
My ds1 meets his mates in lots of weird places in the quest for unusual venues for grooms. Grin

MrsDeVere · 05/01/2014 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilyaldrin · 05/01/2014 17:40

It is a bit odd that it's single adults - so a posse of paedos would be fine Hmm

Lots of playgrounds have an "adults only if accompanied by a child" rule though which I think is fine.

GoldenGytha · 05/01/2014 17:47

Well I'm a single adult, and my youngest DC is 20 years old, so I wouldn't be allowed in, unless with a child.

Seems like madness to me, I love animals and would happily go to see farm ones.

I can understand the playground ones, but what if you just wanted to go and see the animals?

LessMissAbs · 05/01/2014 18:03

Some people find it relaxing looking at farmyard animals. I went to the zoo recently on my own - it was during the day, I had a holiday and DH was at work.

There seems to be an increasing obsession about not doing things on your own. Wherever you go, if you dare do anything without a companion, its like "You're not here ON YOUR OWN are you?"

Goodness knows what it must be like for a single man. Totally overreactionary.

Doinmummy · 05/01/2014 18:11

The paedophile I knew has a wife and 2 daughters.

lilyaldrin · 05/01/2014 18:17

If they wanted to avoid rowdy groups of adults, surely they'd require children to accompany them rather than just saying no lone adults?

trulymadlyme · 05/01/2014 18:18

I think it is discriminatory and unnecessary. I often go to places on my own. Our local park has the sunniest benches next to the children's play area and if i choose to sit there then that is my choice. I am not there to harm anyone and all children should be accompanied and supervised as there are many dangers least of all predatory singles. I work in childcare and often go to visit an attraction to do a revue/risk assessment - is this not allowed?

MostWicked · 05/01/2014 18:21

Why would a single adult want to go to a park like that on their own?
I don't see the problem with it.

There are plenty of open farms and parks that a single person could go to.

CaptainTripps · 07/01/2014 15:23

The post by chocolatemademefat typifies the hysteria...and it is hysteria. Anyway, as Pipbin says, most children are abused by people known to them, not some random stranger.

(PS sorry but I really dislike the term kiddyfiddler as used by several on this thread)

justgirl · 07/01/2014 16:11

I think some people are misunderstanding it/the playground has worded it incorrectly and the disclaimer is probably intended as lone adults....whether they be alone or in a group.

I am also shocked at people being aghast at the discrimination and then going on to complain about single MEN and being uneasy about single MEN being in soft plays until they are sure they are with a child?!

Seriously......are people still under the impression that women aren't a risk?! and frankly it annoys me beyond belief to know that there must be people judging my DP when he is out alone with our children at the soft play/park.

Will common sense ever prevail I wonder!

phantomnamechanger · 07/01/2014 16:19

PS sorry but I really dislike the term kiddyfiddler as used by several on this thread

^ 100% agree, it's a vile term for a vile act, dressed up as a cutesy NN

phantomnamechanger · 07/01/2014 16:22

and their wording is nonsensical anyway - their use of "single" - if you take your marriage cert to prove you are not a single man or woman, that's ok??