..to ask how hard it is to go from 2 to 3 children?!

[WaffilyVersatile]

I am 32, married with ds who is 12 and dd who is 8.. we have just started earning a fair wage with me working from home and OH contracting fairly locally (he used to work 3 hours away!) and we were content in our family of 4. I was sad deep down a little bit maybe but had sort of accepted that the baby days were over and we were concentrating on having fun and growing together (that was a bit sugary sweet, sorry)

we live in a small 3 bed house. Ds is in a single room and dd in a small double room...

...and after having my suspicions for a week or 2 I did a test tonight and found out I am pregnant.

I did freak out slightly at first. To be entirely frank I had a medical termination last year which was a very difficult decision and ended with me haemorrhaging and spending the night in hospital on a drip. I know it was still the right decision for our family but when I sat OH down tonight to tell him about the positive test I told him that I know its not ideal but I just don't think I have it in me to go through that again. He said "I would NEVER ask you to. don't be silly.."

So errr yeah, everything in our home is geared for a family of 4. How easy is it to slot in that extra person!?!? How did you cope!? I am lucky in that I work for myself from home so work can stay as it is I guess..what about the age gaps!?!? 13 years between the oldest and youngest seems massive?!

O.M.G!! I haven't had a baby for years!!

I think with your age gaps (and your own age) you will be absolutely fine.

I have three, aged 9, 4 and nearly 1. It is fabulous. Noisy and chaotic and exhausting, but brilliant all the same. I love the dynamics of us being a family of five, and I love watching the different relationships emerging between the children as they grow up.

Down sides for me have been: my own tiredness. I have to confess my pregnancy with DC3 was the most gruelling thing I'd ever been through, sick constantly, exhausted permanently, grumpy regularly! BUT I was 40 when I was pregnant with him, and obviously a lot of that could have been due to my age as much as anyway. Actually having the baby was a breeze, compared to the pregnancy. Although I do sometimes struggle with the lack of general 'downtime' - with two of them I seemed to manage a bit of time to myself occasionally during the day; with three, that simply doesn't happen ever. Someone always needs you! But it is still worth it a hundred times over, and the lovely thing about larger age gaps is that you will have lots of gorgeous one-on-one time with baby when your older children are at school...

As for space, you know what, you'll make it work. We had a small 3 bed cottage when I fell pregnant with DC3 and we made it work. You just become an absolute expert at storage systems!

as much as anything not anyway!

I found 2-3 very hard but at the time they were 4 exactly, 2.5 and then newborn. A bigger gap would have made things vastly different. My third was also a non sleeping, dairy allergic baby so it was always going to be tough whether he was baby no1 or baby no6.

I think your gap sounds pretty good, a good friend has just had a planned third with the same gaps as yours and is loving every minute of it and is particularly enjoying how helpful the older two are with their baby sibling.

Congratulations.

2-3 was my easiest gap. As others have said, dc3 had to slot in and I could rest when dc1&2 were at school.

When dc4 was born, we were in a new build 3bed house so not much space but you manage because you have to.

Although it is a smaller gap than yours will be, dc1 (now 12) & dc4 (now 4) have the closest relationship of all my dc. There is 3.5 years between dc2 & 3 so I effectively have 2 sets of close dc but the bigger age gap was definitely the easiest.

Go have a nose round the "Larger Families" board, 3 is nothing to them

Congratulations.

Definitely go for the extension if you can - the only thing I found really difficult with the third was a lack of space.

Maybe a fourth in a couple more years?

As others have said already I really think the age and personality of the other children can make a big difference when having another child. When I lived in America a friend told me that either going from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3 really "bites your butt" well with me it was 2 to 3, that's because the other two were 5 and 3 and all three of them still needed me so much! I think with the age of your older children it will be a different story, much easier in many ways and more help for mum! You may even be able to nap! Fancy that!

Your current youngest child will be 9 when this babe is born so really it will feel like you have a singleton in so many ways. My bro had this gap and his 16 yr old son adores his 7 year old sis (mutual adoration) so Iwould be very hopeful in your situation. Great to hear your DH is so excited too!

Nooo no fourth!!
The only thing holding us back on the extension is purely the dosh. OH thinks we might be able to borrow some from his family so its a definite maybe :)

Have been looking at baby things today - I think I forgot just how much stuff they require!