AIBU to think sge needs to be realistic

[DizzyZebra]

My mum is in her fifties, and her partner is fifty this year. My mums partner has asthma amongst a number of other difficulties in the chest area (angina, something else i don't know the name of annd is prone to chest infections). Shed on various tablets and inhaler thingies (at least three different ones off the top of my head (may be irrelevant but trying to give a full picture).

Their house is housing association property, and has recently gotten terribly damp and mouldy. Its really bad. I'm going over tomorrow and am going to attempt to do something about it, but obviously this isn't going to be a long term solution.

The problem is she won't ring the housing association. She says this is because she doesn't want the stress (?) and then ripping plaster out or something. But i suspect the amount of guinea pigs she has is the cause.

I don't know exactly how many she has (not counted). But it seems her care of them is detrimental to the rest of the house and her and her partners health. I think she needs to take a realistic look at the amount she has and cut down severely. Theirs is the only room in the house which isn't mouldy because they have heaters etc in there all the time (some are hairless so need to be warm and have heat mats etc) yet she says she cant afford to put the central heating on (which im led to believe would help the mould situation? Am i wrong).

I don't know what to say to her though. Surely even if my mum is happy to carry on knackering herself to clean them, this is a serious risk to her partner with the above mentioned chest problems?

AIBU to feel this way and what would you do? Should i just keep my thoughts on it to myself? I'm not sure it would make much of a difference of i said anything but its really bothering me. I love her partner (my step mum so to speak) and im scared shed going to die or be very ill.

I suspect she is reluctant to call her HA because she has caused and allowed the damp to build up. It doesn't happen overnight. And also, because if the guinea pigs are all in her house then she may be in breach of her tenancy. I'm assuming she has more than say 5/6 gp's?

You sound like a really lovely caring daughter, I hope you can help them to sort this out.

Mould and condensation is often due to a lack of ventilation. So she needs to let air circulate by opening doors and windows regularly and letting some heat get to all of the rooms. Can your stepmum get any help with bills due to her illness? That might be worth looking in to.

A solution of bleach and water will help remove any black mould and a dehumidifier if you can get one will also help.

Are the guinea pigs well looked after or are you worried about that? Does she have so many that she might be finding it a bit overwhelming?

BTW, I have chest problems and I'm awfully allergic to guinea pigs, cats and dogs, could they be making your stepmum's illness worse?

Yes joules definitely more than 5/6. The housing association is generally quite leniant. When she was in better physical health she used to foster dogs and they knew about it, they generally only take action if the animals cause a problem, even if it does technically breach your tenancy.

My dad agrees with me but i wanted to ask here as my dad has always been weird about animals (he would even make comments about my one dog until he got one himself, now the dogs great).

But i do think you are right, i think she probably knows that. I suspect the smell of the guinea pigs would be a problem too? Even though theyre cleaned regularly they stink. Is that classed as neglecting the property even though its not actually damaging the property (although i wouldn't know of the smell would stay if say she moved, or would require special cleaning as they aren't lose or anything so its not like, in the floors or anything).

Santa - I think they do get help with bills, in not sure. Ill bring that up next time she mentions heating.

The guinea pigs are all in one room and my step mum doesn't go in so i don't think the actual fur bothers her, but then she wouldn't say if it did. She had a heart attack once and didn't say anything for ages because she didn't want to make a fuss, she hates to think shed making a fuss (although obviously she wouldn't be making a fuss!)

I dread to imagine what the noise is like!

Does she use wood shavings straw and hay? Do these things irritate chest problems too?

I do think the guinea pigs are well looked after though. I'm not concerned about them, more that their being well looked after is to the detriment of the house and my mum and step mums health.

When her physical health deteriorated she did rehome some of the larger animals she had that she knew would have ended up neglected if shed kept them. But she seems to be really unrealistic about this.

Joules yes she uses wood shavings, and i think she uses hay. I used to have horses so she used to get her hay with mine as it worked out cheaper to buy a bale from our supplier.

Theyre remarkably quiet to be fair actually. I really dislike guinea pig noise but theyre not that bad noise wise, they know when they get fed and all kick off then but that's the worst noise they make.

Does she disinfect the cages? They do smell unless the plastic is given a quick wipe with some baby steriliser. I realise this is a small part of the problem but thought it might make a tiny bit of difference. I've kept pigs for years and I've found a bit of liquid steriliser (£1ish) diluted keeps them fresh and a bottle lasts forever.

I don't understand the problem with the guinea pigs from what you've written. I'm not sure how you think they may be related to the damp problem, unless she is worried about how the housing association will feel about them and so that is why she won't call them.

As posters have said above, damp is caused generally by insufficient heating and ventilation. It could be though that there is perhaps a leaking gutter or something similar causing a wall to be damp. You could have a careful look round outside the property when you next visit to look for anything that could be causing a problem.

It's more likely though to be just the way she lives. So yes, more heating and regular opening of windows should certainly help, particularly if they tend to dry clothes around the house - the water has to go somewhere.

And I agree that a solution of bleach and water gets rid of black mould and a dehumidifier could also help.

I think cutting back to just the hairless ones would go a long way tbh. But i don't know how to suggest it. She gets quite defensive if people make comments about her animals. She says she doesn't see why its anyone's business because she feeds and looks after them... Which is fair enough if you're up to it but i reallly don't think she is.

i struggle with my own house with the one area i have (crappy extension) that gets damp and i have to clean it daily so i cant understand how she is living like that.

Tulip - I'm not sure, i am going to say i would assume so. I know she uses hibiscrub for reptiles so i would think she uses something on the pigs. I happen to have a massive bottle of steriliser i will take over and say in not using it (i sometimes like cleaning with it i like the smell of it).

Catneuterer - Because she is refusing to call the housing association because (i suspect) she thinks they will say something about the guinea pigs. And she doesn't switch the heating on because she says she cant afford it - but has heaters going constantly in their room which must be costing a lot. Its not the pigs themselves causing damp i know that!

That should say used to use hibiscrub (she doesn't have any reptiles anymore)

Well the chances are that calling the housing association would make no difference anyway. Damp is usually called by the way people live in their houses (as a landlord myself I come across this all the time).

I would forget about the guinea pigs and concentrate on advising her on how to sort the damp and persuading her to heat the place.

And that she spends that long cleaning them that she then cant clean the rest of the house. She keeps saying she needs to do x y or z but then doesn't have time because she cleans the pigs out in one go (there really are a lot, i will count tomorrow) and then cant physically do anything else because its knackering her (she has some mobility problems).

I am going to give her a hand (in going to offer tomorrow) a couple of times a week if she needs it but i don't know how long she is realistically going to be able to continue.

Also in my old house my ceiling got damp because of a burst pipe and within two weeks (repeatedly phoned the housing association as that was ha property) it had collapsed. So that concerns me as she is going to be up shit creek if her house ends up unlivable.

Ive said a few times about heating but she just says she cant afford it. But like i said has the heaters on in the pigs room constantly so she must be paying a lot in electricity.

Ive told her about cold weather payments (she gets IS as her partners carer as she has various other problems not just the chest ones).

The other thing i feel awful for saying, but she noticably smells herself too which she never used to so i don't know whata going on there. I don't know what it is she smells of though its strange.

I really am worried about her.

Even if they wont do anything about the actual damp of it were to become unlivable or she were evicted or something shed be in so much shit.

Get a dehumidifier. Cheap to run, only costs about £150, will remove a litre or more of water per day from the air.

Yeah, the housing ass. Probably wouldn't do anything anyway.

Try reading with damp and mould spray, then painting over with fungicidal paint.

That should sorry it for winter.

Also you can get little dehumidifiers from wilko that help gather water.

It just needs sorting then keeping on top of.

How many gps has she actually got?

Liberal i don't know. I honestly don't. If i had to guess id say around the thirty mark. But that's a very rough guess from picturing the cages before she moved them and from that last time i went in there. I know a few have died (she said she had a gp from a woman and it had done sort of virus and gave it to hers?) but then sometimes ill not be able to get in touch with her and shell say she was driving cause she was fetching a new gp.

Plus some have babies.

Does she dry laundry on radiators?

A plumber told me that was one of the main causes of damp in houses .

I think she uses her drier apart from jeans, which go on a clothes hanger thing (clothes horse?). Ive never noticed washing on radiators.

Cold weather payments are few and far between and are sent automatically for someone on is. Not been anywhere near cold enough this winter yet.

Check who her electricity supplier is and see if she qualifies for the warm home scheme its an annual payment made onto account for people who fit certain categories and the is with your stepmums disability should qualify.

Is your mum still getting new gp or just keeping the ones she already has?

When i say damp and mould though i don't mean a little bit. The worst part is up the stairs. The ceiling is black. A good few square metres of it. The windows in her bedroom are bad too she says, but i don't know how to lift the blinds up she has and i didn't want to break them having a look myself.

The bathroom has been slowly getting worse for a while and is bad too.

Jacks i have mentioned that to her. I told her to go online and check if hers does it.

She is always getting new ones. She posted pics of babies the other day and i know a few weeks ago she drove somewhere to get one cause it was one of the times i mentioned when i couldn't get hold of her, and she mentioned she was fetching one near my daughters dads a few weeks ago (she sometimes fetches her and she wanted to know the arrangements as she was planning to pick it up on the way back).