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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist that dp gets out of bed now?

26 replies

GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 13:50

Dp finally got home at 6.30 this morning after a mega drinking session with friends he's not seen for several months.

I don't much care about the time he gets home (well, the 3am self-pitying, I've missed all the trains boohoo ilurveyouuuuu phone calls I could do without) but what pisses me off is the way it then messes up the next day. It's our last weekend together (I go back to work on Monday, he lives 400 miles away atm and will be leaving at the end of the week), it's not as if we're doing anything terribly exciting but it does irritate me. I'd like to spend some time lounging around with him! Plus, I would never get away with sleeping in until 2pm no matter how heavy the night before!

So WIBU to go and fling the curtains open and jump on the bed? Grin

OP posts:
DameDeepRedBetty · 04/01/2014 13:51

Have you got a wet dog or small child you could fling in there?

And then make him wash the sheets etc obviously!

FizzyPink · 04/01/2014 13:52

Eurghh my DP is exactly like this all the time. He stays up all night watching stupid videos and then sleeps all day.
If we have a day out planned he will let me wake him up early but acts lie he's doing me a massive favour.
YANBU but I would probably take some breakfast so he has to wake up.

DameDeepRedBetty · 04/01/2014 13:52

Oh and make sure the small child has a musical instrument of some sort.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 04/01/2014 13:53

Meh. It sounds one off, old friends meeting up etc. Hardly a weekly occurance. Write off today with him and enjoy tomorrow.

Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 13:54

Ds has already spent some time kicking a football against the adjoining wall Grin but it didn't work.

The bedroom reeks of booze and fags as well, grim.

I'm not making him bloody breakfast!

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CaptainSweatPants · 04/01/2014 13:54

If you haven't got kids then why can't you sleep in until 2pm?
I'd go out for lunch with a friend & leave him to it

Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 13:55

It's not exactly a one off. He does this every time he sees these particular friends. He just hasn't seen them for a while this time. It does wind me up tbh.

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 04/01/2014 13:55

Ah you do have kids
That's crappy for ds then

livinginawinterwonderland · 04/01/2014 13:56

Eh, go out another weekend and do the same thing.

It's annoying but it's not really impacting a huge amount. You have tomorrow and every evening this week to do stuff together. If you had plans, I would say yes, go and wake him up, but why wake him up to just sit around the house if he'll be tired and hungover?

Pollydingdonmerrilyonhigh · 04/01/2014 13:57

What a fucking man- child Angry
Bucket of water over his head should do it Grin

Fairenuff · 04/01/2014 13:57

I would never get away with sleeping in until 2pm no matter how heavy the night before

Why not? Who would stop you?

CaptainSweatPants · 04/01/2014 13:58

Why don't you take ds out?

MistressDeeCee · 04/01/2014 13:58

Id be irritated by this. But tbh whats the point in making him get out of bed, he'll be irritatable and zombie-like - ie, no use to you! May as well leave him to return to the land of the living gently...

Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 13:58

I can't go out another weekend and do the same thing - he doesn't usually live here.

Ah well, will take the bins out and do the washing and clean the bathroom and take the tree down and go shopping on my own then

(Actually we really need a martyr face here don't we? Grin)

OP posts:
Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 13:59

my small child would probably have something to say about it, fairenuff

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CaptainSweatPants · 04/01/2014 14:00

Is he your ds' dad? Because he sounds like he's living life as a single man

MyNameIsKenAdams · 04/01/2014 14:01

Yes you are being a martyr.

If he doesnt usually live there then why is he coming i drunk and not going to his own house?

Fairenuff · 04/01/2014 14:02

Ah, ok.

Well if you have a small child you will need to keep them busy anyway, so a tired partner would not really help.

CaptainSweatPants · 04/01/2014 14:02

Because his house is 400 miles away!
Long distance relationships suck

dreamingbohemian · 04/01/2014 14:03

No we don't need a martyr face. We need less martyrs! Tell him to take the bins out and go shopping when he gets up.

He's not going to stop doing it as long as you keep making it easy for him.

livinginawinterwonderland · 04/01/2014 14:05

I think if you wanted to make the most of this last weekend together, you should have said something in advance.

For example, this weekend is the only weekend for months that I'm not going into work. I told DP in advance and said "it would be really nice if we could spend it together as I don't have to work" and he agreed. So he didn't make plans to get roaring drunk last night or tonight so we can actually spend a whole weekend together (which never happens because of work).

Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with him going out and coming in late. You knew he would, you didn't object or say anything at the time, so it's a bit unfair to complain afterwards imo.

Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 14:07

I'm not sure his behaviour is my responsibility, dreaming.

I'm going to wake him up. He's had seven hours. He can make me some lunch. Something really smelly and gooey perhaps, mwahahahaahaaaa.

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CajaDeLaMemoria · 04/01/2014 14:09

Text him that you are taking DS shopping to stop him from being woken up. Ask him to take the bins out and clean the bathroom when he gets up. Tell him you'll be home around X time.

Job done :) you don't need to be a martyr, and he should be grateful that you let him sleep and tried to keep the kids quiet.

HyvaPaiva · 04/01/2014 14:11

Grin at needing a martyr face on MN. Sure do!

My DP suggests calling the house phone from your mobile and faking a conversation with your DP's parents/relatives if they live close enough. Say 'so you'll be here in ten minutes? Lovely!' Then casually tell him. Out of bed like a shot. This actually happened in our house, except the call was real Grin

Original poster
GinAndIt · 04/01/2014 14:14

Nice idea hyva - sadly his parents are just north of Aberdeen and we're just south of London!

I could nip out and then get my mum to lean heavily on the door buzzer several times like she usually does, I suppose!

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