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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think working with school-aged children may be less feasible?

59 replies

ProudPineapple · 04/01/2014 09:49

I've always worked since having dc, I've been a student, worked ft, pt, shifts, office hours etc. I've used a mix of childminder, nursery and preschool. The dc and I have always coped done and I think the net effect has been positive for is as a family.

I have now applied for dc1 school place and am trying to work out how on earth I'm going to manage the needs of a school aged child, along with a younger one. I am struggling to see how we're going to manage it. DH works away during the week a lot, we have no family nearby. There is before/after school club but places are hotly contested and expensive. Our CM only does under 5's year-round contracts. Even if I can sort things term time, they're on holiday for weeks of the year!

For the first time since becoming a parent, I'm considering not working (in my current professional role). We need me to have an income but I guess I need to look at weekend work or similar.

AIBU to think that it may be much harder to work with dc at school than when they're babies?

OP posts:
annieorangutan · 04/01/2014 11:11

I send mine to club from 7.30-6 as I need it. I can do the same all the way through the holidays 51 weeks off the year. Lots of similar services here all the way until age 15. I think it makes more sense to start them in not very well off areas as people as tax credits help to ensure they are lots of children in them and they make more viable businesses which is a pain for people in other areas.

Preciousbane · 04/01/2014 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberNectarine · 04/01/2014 11:22

YANBU - I will probably give up work in September for this very reason. DH and I have same city employer expecting crazy hours and the idea of juggling it all (one in preschool needing collection at lunchtime, one in reception doing full school day) makes me feel sick. Luckily we don't 'need' my income so I have a choice, but can totally understand why you feel this way. Hope you find a solution that works!

Original poster
ProudPineapple · 04/01/2014 12:43

It is definitely the thought of it all that's putting me off. I think up until now it's all been fairly easy and well set up. My head is hurting just trying to think of all the combinations of arrangements that are going to be needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
ProudPineapple · 04/01/2014 12:44

I think that level of flexibility is fairly unusual Annie as most clubs/playschemes need firm commitment to ensure viable numbers, or charge a lot more to cover this issue.

OP posts:
lisad123everybodydancenow · 04/01/2014 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2kidsintow · 04/01/2014 12:48

New childminder? Have you checked the official list that your County/borough should keep?

I'm lucky enough to not need childcare in the holidays, only on school days and training days, but my childminder does work in the holidays. In fact there's only one childminder around here that doesn't and that's because her husband is a teacher and she wants to spend it with him. The rest of them are much busier in the holidays as they have children who are otherwise normally in school.

Most childminders do the school pickups too.

It's expensive for the holidays, but if you work out what it would cost you all year you could put 1/12th of that amount away in an account each month.

annieorangutan · 04/01/2014 13:11

I pay for the full week proudpineapple I meant I dont always turn up at very start or end.

wobblyweebles · 04/01/2014 14:19

I found it so difficult I switched to working 9-2. It was ok when dh was around more but he works away 3 days a week now.

I had an after school nanny till I changed work hours, then used holiday clubs and leave to cover school holidays. We have an 11 week school holiday to cover and last year dh was away for most of it.

We just got through the Christmas school holiday using a mixture of each taking different leave, and working from home.

NiceTabard · 04/01/2014 14:27

We do it with a combination of help from family a couple of days, and a nanny.

The most difficult bit was (your situation) one at school one at preschool as obviously they aren't in the same place.

Our school does breakfast club as does preschool, nothing after school.

Holidays has been holiday club at the preschool, it is expensive but we needed them in the same place and the younger one wasn't old enough for most of the holiday clubs on offer.

If I were you I would be thinking. Is there someone at the nursery who might take your little one for a few quid, big one to breakfast club, then look for CM / nanny to do the after school bit.

Ours is a logistic nightmare as our work is irregular hours so there is no pattern to it. But so far it hasn't gone wrong (fingers crossed!!!).

Good luck Smile

TheCrackFox · 04/01/2014 14:38

A lot of it depends where you live.

I live on about so brilliant inner city area and the problems are:

  1. No breakfast club.
  2. After school club (which is shared with 4 local schools) has a huge waiting list.
  3. Childminders charge £6 per hour, per child.

I'm lucky as I work 8:30-2:30 - DH does drop off and I do pick up. But most families trade favours and it seems to be a patchwork of arrangements.

TheCrackFox · 04/01/2014 14:40

Sorry, that should read "I live in a not so brilliant inner city area"

BabyDubsEverywhere · 04/01/2014 14:41

I am in the same boat op, but for Uni rather than work. There isn't a single childminder that cover our school, the breakfast club and after school club isn't reliable as its only used for fun rather than for real childcare.

Is there such a thing as ofstead registered nannys? So they have childcare number to get taxcredits contributions towards? (I will be using Uni childcare funding but the requirements are the same)

dreamingofsun · 04/01/2014 14:48

sorry don't have time to read whole thread, but noticed a few people are suggesting you pay another parent. i think this is illegal, as they have to be registered. having done this myself i would only do this as a last resort as I don't think there's quite the same level of commitment - eg child transported in car on one instance with no seat belt.

don't leave it to the last minute as it took us several attempts to find a suitable solution.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 04/01/2014 14:59

I think the "ask other parents" comments mean "for suggestions" rather than "to care for your children".

NiceTabard · 04/01/2014 15:15

In the real world having a trusted neighbour drop your kid at school when they take theirs for a few quid a week is a perfectly reasonable solution.

It would be utterly mean to report someone for being involved in that type of arrangement.

Bearfrills · 04/01/2014 15:34

It's not illegal to pay a neighbour to look after your children, is it? I 'pay' DM for looking after the DCs by giving her a few quid each week to cover the extra food and my friend who picks DS up from school one day a week is 'paid' with the occasional bottle of wine, the law has yet to batter down my door and arrest me :o

NiceTabard · 04/01/2014 15:38

Yes I think those things are illegal bearfrills.

NiceTabard · 04/01/2014 15:39

I would hope that the authorities have better things to do though, as well!

WorrySighWorrySigh · 04/01/2014 15:45

YANBU, your childcare problems start when the children start school:

  • half days to start with
  • half term
  • training days
  • 'school being used as a polling station' days
  • special assemblies/sports days/special days all requiring different drop off and pick up times.

On the plus side it does get better when they start secondary. So, only six years then!

EssexGurl · 04/01/2014 15:50

YANBU. This is the reason I worked when DS was little but became SAHM when he went to school. No ASC at the school, no family nearby to help. All my working friends have parents / family locally who can pick up slack, cover holidays and INSET gays etc. we don't. Nightmare. Nursery years a breeze in comparison.

jezzasjockstrap · 04/01/2014 16:02

YADNBU.
Where we live there's breakfast and afterschool provision (both almost full) at the village school and it's closed school holidays.
There's a few childminders but the one that I used closed up this year.
So not much wrap around care here

5Foot5 · 04/01/2014 16:27

Definitely gets more complicated and I know at least one mum who had gone back to work after both her DCs but gave up to be a SAHM shortly after they started school because of this.

We were lucky that at DDs primary there was also an organisation that did before and after school care for a reasonable sum. The same people also organised holiday clubs and we coped with the holidays with a combination of clubs, GPs, leave from work and co-operating with other working parents so we had their DCs for a day and then they had ours.

Do any nurseries near you offer wrap-around care? There is a large new nursery I pass on my way to work that does this. They have a mini-bus to take / pick up the children from their various schools and there seems to be a special area of the nursery that is for the older children. I believe they also offer holiday care up to 11. There is obviously a gap in the market for this so it might be worth checking around to see if something similar is available.

RestingActress · 04/01/2014 17:14

I may have missed it, but has anyone mentioned the logistical horror that is staggered part-time starts in Reception?

It may be worth you asking the question of the schools that you are considering OP.

Our school was relatively easy, girls one day, boys the next, then all in from there. Dsis' school they started 1.00 - 3.00 for two weeks, then 9.00-11.00 for two weeks, then 9.00 - 1.00 for two weeks then full time after the half term holiday. Picking up and dropping off was a nightmare for her - luckily she has a lovely sister Grin

Redcliff · 04/01/2014 17:17

YANBU - it's so tricky. I am very lucky that my parents do one day (so each do one pick up every other week) but the first year we tried a childminder (which DS didn't like) an after school club which forgot to do after school pick up more than once so stopped using them and a neighbours daughter which lasted one term as she had to many others things on. We have it sorted now - OH works pt so does two pick ups a week, I work condensed hours so do one a week and he goes to his friends house once a week. It feel precarious though - his friends mum is having a baby so might not want to carry on, my parents are not getting any younger so not sure how much longer that's going to go on for etc

Good luck - hope you find a solution.