to believe him?

[yourusername123456789]

Last night I was awoken by a noise. I turned, and there was my partner pleasuring himself. I called him on it, he stopped, I can't remember what he said, but something silly like 'ah it's nothing' in a very sleepy way. My first thought was that it was a dream as surely if he were to do that next to me he'd want to be quiet, and it was loud enough to wake me.

anyway, this morning we discuss going for a walk and I say 'maybe you got enough exercise last night eeeeeeeeeeeh?' in a teasy way because I thought it best it was brought up and he looked all confused, asking me what I was talking about.

I know it isn't a big deal and I'm sure he has done it loads when I'm not around. We haven't been having much sex since dd was born, but I don't like the idea of it next to me! I do sort of believe he was asleep though, would you?

I woke up yesterday with motion sickness, turns out bf didn't want to wake me for action.

Didn't realise I had to call him on it.

Seriously though, your partner is entitled to wank in his own bed.

I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one who isn't repelled (quite the opposite, in fact, in my case) by the thought of their husband/partner having a wank.

Either he's telling the truth or he isn't - I really think you should leave him be.

Gather your pitchfork OP, he's clearly a deviant!

Poor sod, trying to have a little wank in the comfort of his own bed. If he was pleasuring himself in Sainsbury's I'd say it was 'wrong', but in his own bed in the middle of the night......and then being questioned about it the next day? You need to relax lady!

My DH has done this a few times. In the morning he has no knowledge of it - and I believe him.

Leave him to it. Can't see he's done anything wrong.

If he was pleasuring himself in Sainsbury's I'd say it was 'wrong'

I just coughed up a kidney laughing at that!

I really really dislike the mindset of some MNers whos dp/dh's maturbate, why are people so uptight?!
Why is it such a frowned upon thing?

I would be gutted he didn't wake me up to watch as it is the sexiest thing ever!!

opps some people just feel insecure about it.

We are not big wankers here due to lower sex drives but if I was a wanker I wouldn't do it in the same bed as my husband unless he was involved in it.

It is just my personal comfort level. He is welcome too though.

Maybe the OP doesn't care that he wanks, just not next to her? From her post the problem seems to be him doing it next to her, not that he masturbates in general, and with them not having sex much right now maybe she feels a bit insecure?

I don't see someone uptight about masturbating in general, just uncomfortable with him doing it next to her and we all have our personal comfort levels.

Devils Advocate/

The OP just sounds like she wants to know if you would believe it if your DP apparently sleep wanked?

Or am I missing the point?

Would it matter either way? Asleep or awake, the man's entitled to a wank surely?

As are you.

OP, can I ask why you haven't been having much sex since your DD was born? If it is because YOU don't want to, then I think she should be pretty laid back over DH having a quick wank in bed. If it's because HE doesn't want to, then you have a different problem. It sounds like you need to sit down and have a proper (not teasing) conversation about your relationship, and whether there is anything you can do to get yourselves back on track.
With regards to his wank, he may well have been asleep - it's quite normal.

This is one of those mumsnet issues that blow my mind. Where do people even get the idea that they're their partner's wank gatekeeper? I'd be horrified and furious if a boyfriend tried to 'call me out' on wanking next to him.

Apparently I've sleep-wanked - not to the end afaik but definitely a substantial fiddle. No memory of it, so certainly possible.

Reading some of these posts I'd say some people need to read the OP again.

You "called him on it"?

It's not a phone.

He's allowed to, but not in his own bed with the OP in close proximity?

I still don't get it. I'd be really upset if my partner saw me that way.

I don't think I have sleep wanked. I have orgasmed in my sleep but just from dreams

I'm looking at you Gordon Ramsay for some odd reason

Doesn't sound like a Kitchen Nightmare to me, catgirl!

I don't understand why anyone would be furious about this.

I wouldn't care personally and no she isn't her partners 'wank gate-keeper' but she does have a right to ask him not to do it in front of her if she is uncomfortable around it.

Of course he has a right to ignore her wishes but if I masturbated next to DH while he was sleeping or trying to sleep and he told me it made him uncomfortable I can't see that making me furious. I might find it odd that he is uncomfortable with it but as long as he isn't trying to stop make me masturbating full stop and has no history of controlling behaviour then I see no harm in going to wank elsewhere. Some people see it as a very private thing and while others may not understand it I don't think the OP is controlling to not be comfortable with it. She isn't dictating that he doesn't wank.

I bet many other people feel the same way but probably wouldn't admit to it in fear of being mocked.

Someone said if she was the OP's partner she would run for the hills and never look back. Seriously? someone you have been with for ages is uncomfortable with you masturbating next to them and this means they are a big control freak who needs to be run away from? That is more OTT than the OP is being.

If you read her OP properly it doesn't sound like she made a huge deal of it or told him he isn't 'allowed' to do it but it is much for fun to read more into it and make out the OP is some bad control freak isn't it?

This is purely hypothetical though for me as this situation doesn't apply to me. It's rare we sleep in the same bed for a start.

Sorry about the appalling grammar.. I can't even blame my phone this time.