Wedding invites - friends DP

[Kandypane]

Hi

I'm getting married in July and preparing to send out my invites. Am inviting friends and their partners. My one friend has been with her DP for a few years and they have a baby boy together.

I don't want to invite her partner. He is a complete dick in my opinion and doesn't treat her well. He is also known for causing trouble when drunk (has done this at other weddings). Last time he came to an event I was at he started being aggressive to some of my friends and took drugs in the toilet!!

Writing that down I know I'm not BU to not invite him. But how can I do this without offending my friend?

According to Miss Manners, safety trumps etiquette. He's a violent dick - no invitation.

Given your reasons, YADNBU!

If your friend doesn't like it, then tough I'm afraid. Invite etiquette goes out the window with this twat.

I wish I had stuck to my guns when in this situation. Although nothing kicked off, I want the prat Photoshoped out of the wedding photos before I can look at them :(

This happened to me with one of DH's friend's DP. I was going to grin and bear it, but then the DP in question was specifically horrible to me and DH (my then-fiancé) so DH called his friend and explained that we didn't want her DP there, based on his behaviour to me, DH,and at another friend's wedding where he caused a right to-do with the bride's parents :0 He was all right when sober but a bloody nightmare drunk.

Credit to the couple in question, she made him apologise to me and then after I (of course) re-invited him (the friend didn't ask me to, mind) he didn't touch a drop of booze at the wedding and has been determinedly civil to me ever since.

It's your wedding and you need to make sure that you have managed the guest list to give you as little stress and worry on the day as possible. Phrase it kindly with your friend and perhaps when she tells him he will grow a conscience and be mortified.

Kindly explain to your friend the reasons why. They are all good solid reasons.

YANBU to not invite him but be prepared that you may lose this friendship.