in offering to wash this mans clothes

[Chasdingle]

We know someone, know him for years to say hello to and he gravitates towards us and a few others basically because we are the only ones that give him the time of day and don't treat him like a wierdo. To be brutally honest, he stinks, his clothes are filthy, and i don't think he has a washing machine (and i can imagine hand washing could be a nightmare). How can i offer in a non offensive way to wash his clothes without offending him?

Don't. Just continue to give him the time of day. It isn't your call to make unless he asks for help.

Were does he live, do you ever go to his home?
I recently knew someone who was living in his car (got somewhere to live now) and after a week or so it occurred to me that he would be struggling to get his washing done, so I offered and he was very grateful. I think it will depend on your relationship - do you think he is likely to be offended? Can you bring it into a conversation naturally?

I think the answer to whether or not you can offer to wash his clothes is based on the reason for him not doing it to begin with. Would you be hurting his pride or offering him much needed charity. What kind of commitment are you willing to make here?

he lives in a housing association house (a big old victorian house converted into flats) but its a very old listed building he lives in in our village (one that looks very nice from the outside) but he's told me what a nightmare it is to heat etc. He's lived there for quite a few years but he used to work and is now redundant and i think suffering from depression and other mental health issues. I just feel like we are some of the only people who talk to him or don't treat him like a total wierdo. He is a very intelligent guy when you talk to him to put it bluntly he has no social skills and he skinks

thinking about it we have a mutal friend who is a guy in his 60s and he may be able to put the offer across better than me even if i do the washing so will speak to him.

Does he visit you at home? Could you notice a specific stain and say "oh you've got something on your jacket, I'm about to put a wash on, would you like me to pop it in with our stuff?

Is he the type of person you could ask to do some odd jobs, gardening, painting etc and then suggest that he's welcome to stick them in your machine when he's finished. Obviously he won't have a change of clothes with him, but you could say "well if you want to bring them round with anything else that needs a wash I'm happy to stick on a load for you."

Just make sure you don't end up doing it regularly, most of us are trying not to get lumbered with doing men's laundry!

The fact that his clothes stink probably bothers you more than it bothers him. But I would just come straight out with it, and if he says no thanks, just carry on as you were. No bother, no fuss.

I think you would struggle to make this offer sound anything other than invasive without already having established a very good relationship (one that goes beyond merely passing the time of day and making pleasantries with him).

How do you know he doesn't have access to a washing machine? I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and patrons could bring their laundry in to be washed there gratis. I imagine other facilities offer this service. Cleanliness may simply not be a priority for him. Perhaps he'd prefer you buy him a cup of tea or a packet of fags?

DH has a friend who stinks, apparently he does wash his clothes but lives in a flat that's cold so he smells like a damp dog. Could that potentially be the problem? Could you offer him an old clothes airer, that you could say you no longer use?

i don't think he does wash his clothes, at least not decently as his coat is beige and it looks dirty. He clothes look dirty not just smell, sometimes i think i wish i could ignore people but i can't!!

I don't think yabu to offer at all, but without knowing the other person I wouldn't be able to offer advice in how you could go about it. I suppose just try and be as tactful as possible and if the person refuses your offer, just accept it.

Good luck