To not have a weekend away to myself..

[wakemeupnow]

Dh works away a lot and I always stay at home looking after DC. He will be away next week and nearly all of Febuary . He wants to do a weekend training in another city in a couple of weeks time and wants me to join him so I can "have a break".

This will involve finding someone to take Dd for a weekend and leaving Ds 15 on his own for 2 days. I don't feel comfortable leaving him , though he says he's quite happy and he is a capable, sensible boy.

We would have to set off at 4 in the morning to get Dh there on time, and would return very late Sunday night.

I can't help thinking Dh wants me to go to appease his guilt at being away so much. He thinks I am unreasonable and stubborn to not take this opportunity to have a couple of days in another city to myself....I can't help thinking that I am just tagging onto his plan.

Given the choice I would rather go away by myself when he's available to look after Dc , or, If we are going to the trouble of organising childcare, I'd rather spend the time away as a couple together.

I have told him I am happy for him to take the time to go alone but he thinks I am being unreasonable.

I expect finding the childcare for your break would fall to you too.

Being on a city in your own hanging around waiting for your DH to finish training doesn't sound like a great break. If you are going to the hassle of being kid-free, presumably you'd want a weekend away together.

I think he should respect your decision to have a break that you actually want and not be pressured into it to assuage his guilt at frequently working away.

Is it creating some tension?

YANBU. Why don't you tell your DH that you would love to have a weekend break together - but not one when he is working.

YANBU as much as I would love a weekend away from my 2, sitting around in a city on my own whilst DH is on a training thing isn't my idea of fun.

If you don't feel comfortable about leaving your Ds on his own you would probably not enjoy it at all.

Thanks... those replies help me feel better about saying I'm going to stay at home.
Dh thinks I always immagine the negatives whereas I just think I am being practical. I don't especially want to have to occupy myself from 8 in the morning till 7 at night when he's on his training and I would worry about Ds home alone.

My husband does this too... He's at a week-long meeting in Dubai next month, and tried to talk me into joining him. But if I'm going to use my annual leave to sit about on my own for a week, I'll go somewhere I actually want to spend time, and I'll do it when he's home to look after things here.