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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with discussions that revolve around money...

26 replies

goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 17:17

So ....this is a bit of a rant....and probably tinged with a bit of jealousy....My Dsis has not had children and both she and her dh have great jobs (not that ours aren't) and have inherited money. Literally all her conversations revolve around money... what car should she get...the latest pair of shoes...where should they go on holiday...what her suppliers gave her as presents (champagne and more champagne), latest restaurant, flying business class etc, etc. and whilst I don't begrudge her her good fortune much and I wished we didn't have to think about money I am just bored with these conversations. (I don't go on and on about my dcs). I know that I have made my choices and would not swop my dcs for her life... it just seems to be a form of showing off and actually quite vulgar. AIBU to think it would be good to talk about something else?

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 02/01/2014 17:21

She doesnt have anything else to talk about does she?
You have family, she doesnt.

bearleftmonkeyright · 02/01/2014 17:22

She may well be jealous of you.

FariesDoExist · 02/01/2014 17:23

But in all fairness, the things you've listed that she's talking about are not money. Youve said that she's talking about:

Getting a car
Shoes
Holidays
Presents
Eating out

Those things cost money obviously. But if she's in a position to afford to buy things or go to restaurants why shouldn't she talk about it? Do you expect her to pretend that she hasn't eaten out/been on holiday/got new shoes?

Justforlaughs · 02/01/2014 17:24

Can't you just change the subject?

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 17:24

Thank you - was beginning to think it was me....

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 02/01/2014 17:26

None of the stuff you've listed is her talking about money? It's her talking about stuff they've done, places they've been, things they're considering, etc.

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 17:32

You are right... and it those things in themselves aren't about money...
Tried changing the subject.... just usually get steered back to what they are buying..I suppose I am more interested in discussions that aren't about 'stuff'. To be fair the holiday discussions are more interesting - but usually end up being why would anyone do anything other than business class. Yesterday revolved around cars (which looks best), shoes, champagne and labels in general.
Maybe i am BU.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/01/2014 17:37

It sounds like her life is a bit empty. Has she ever discussed books, music, sport, TV, politics etc with you? Surely that is what most people talk about not just about buying stuff.

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 17:44

Nope & nope. She doesn't really read much. Just had brainwave. She used to talk obsessively about work buther job has changed & not as interesting to other people now - lots of admin now. I suppose I need to find a way of talking to her about it.

OP posts:
cantthinkofagoodone · 02/01/2014 17:50

Try being obvious. Just say oh I wish we could do or buy this and that. Doing that every time should get the message across about it annoying you.

You probably are just jealous but that is fairly normal.

monet3 · 02/01/2014 17:51

Nothing worse than a materialistic person IMO

revivingsnowshower · 02/01/2014 18:02

You and your dsis have very different lifestyles. In her world that is probably what she talks about with friends. You are sensitive enough to see she might not like it if you went on about the kids all the time, but maybe she is a little lacking in insight. Maybe you could carefully say something that will let her know how you feel. Maybe something like you'll never regret choosing to start a family when you did, but sometimes you can't help thinking it would be nice to be able to jet off on a glamorous adults only holiday.

WhoNickedMyName · 02/01/2014 18:04

It sounds like her life is a bit empty

Are you kidding? Grin Holidays, flying first class, fancy restaurants, designer shoes, new car, gifts of champagne from suppliers... It sounds like they're having a blast while they are able to afford it and aren't tied down with children.

MrsCampbellBlack · 02/01/2014 18:06

Yes, pity her and her poor empty life. Wink

Do you like your sister have much in common with her?

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 02/01/2014 18:15

i think it depends what your interests are, i admit i wouldn't get too excited about cars unless vintage mercs etc, but if someone was talking about buying some sumptuous apartment in Paris, i would really enjoy talking about that and helping to choose and look and so on..if I lived in a hovel so much the better to take my mind off my own circs...

on the other hand i wish my Dsis spent more of her money and did stuff!

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 18:21

BTW - I do like my dsis. And yes enjoyed talking to her about her holiday home - vicarious living & all that. It's just a bit relentless......maybe they are having a blast.

OP posts:
wobblyweebles · 02/01/2014 18:27

What would you like her to talk to you about?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/01/2014 18:34

Ahh but I'm a bit of a culture vulture so perhaps if she had been spending her money on books, cricket, opera and Monty Python tickets... Wink

What I am trying to say is that life is about more than "stuff" and people whose lives are all about "stuff" can be bit boring after a while.

Joysmum · 02/01/2014 18:58

I too don't see this as them talking about money. The things cost money obviously but it's about the things and their tastes rather than the money.

Upcycled · 02/01/2014 19:04

Is your sister the one who helps you out financially a lot and took the mother role as your mother couldn't cope? Have you just spent Christmas on her big house but had a 'face like a broken clock' or something for the entire time?

Apologies if it is not you...

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 19:05

Anything other than 'stuff'. Book, politics, films. I would even be happy to talk about handbags if it was about what she liked about a particular designer rather than look at my new one ( I think she has about 50 & it is absolutely fair enough what she spends her hard earned cash on). Maybe I will try that.

OP posts:
Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 19:12

No she doesn't help us out financially nor would I ask. & no she didn't take my mother's role but is quite bossy! & we didn't spend Christmas with her - but she did ask me to get her an iincredibly expensive candle as part of her Christmas present.

OP posts:
Wevet · 02/01/2014 19:39

She does sound like a bit of a bore, but it does sound slightly as if you have set this up in your head as 'Materialistic and Childless' Versus 'Poor But Happy Family Who Are Rich in Values'...?

Original poster
goshhhhhh · 02/01/2014 19:52

Possibly yes. Maybe we just don't have much in common any more - which doesn't mean I dislike her. Though I'm thinking she has got it right as I am sitting on the sofa next to my trumping ds (7) - I fed him sprouts...

OP posts:
HOMEQCRICH · 02/01/2014 20:03

My brother is the same its all holidays, property how much he earns yada yada whatever. I have come to the conclusion we have little in common and don't see him much anymore! There is nothing wrong with his topic of conversation. I have just come to the conclusion that we are two very different characters who probably wouldn't associate with each other if not for having the same parents. I find him boring and he probably feels the same!

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