To feel hurt about my employer's total indifference to my birthday?

[MrsFruitcake]

I'm an office manager, so I usually organise everyone else's birthday presents and cards. It was my birthday between Christmas and the new year. I had messages on my phone from the three others in my office wishing me a happy birthday but received no card or gift before Christmas or on the day, and now it's my first day back in the office and nobody has said a single thing.

The last gift I organised was in October for our apprentice who'd only been with us for a few weeks. My manager bought him cinema vouchers and made me buy a card to give him.

I feel really hurt as I do a lot at work - I often stay longer than I should and go 'above and beyond'. AIBU to feel this way?

'Really hurt' is a massive over reaction. Sorry.

If you don't want to put in the effort for your colleagues then you aren't obliged to.

agree

stop the birthday thing. I BET YOU everyone will be relieved

Hope you had a lovely birthday.

I'm not the right kind of person to comment on this thread. Our admin person keeps a spreadsheet of peoples birthdays and organises cards for everyone. I deleted my birthday from the list. I don't think they've noticed, which I am happy about.

I really don't get the whole deal about adults celebrating getting older, when usually in the same breath they moan about getting old.

Is your birthday today? If so, happy birthday

However, I also think you should stop the birthday thing. If I understood your OP properly, you all chip in to buy each other presents for everyone's birthday? Depending on how many of you there are in the office, that's quite a lot of pressure to contribute to people that are not family or (necessarily) friends. I wouldn't be happy if there was this arrangement where I work. It seems a bit OTT. I think your colleagues have sent a message that they aren't bothered about continuing this arrangement.

I'm a bit out of touch with office culture but I think it used to be that maybe the birthday person would bring in a cake. Or not, and no-one would know, and as grown adults that seems quite reasonable.

Birthday celebrations are a bit daft once you are old enough to work!

Yabu. They are your work colleagues, not your friends. Take in a cake to share out if you must.

The answer is not to take over the sole responsibility of organising birthday cards/gifts - in fact stop with the gifts altogether, a card is fine.

I don't think you can resent the apprentices pressie though, ime it's perfectly normal to make a bit more effort for the junior or apprentice who is probably on a shit wage and doesn't have the chance to up their salary till their qualification is complete. It's a bit of an extra thank you.

I dropped out of our office birthday card rounds a few years ago , it was bringing out the brat in people and I just couldn't be bothered with it any more. Stupid squabbles over having a card fund, not getting a gift when others did (for *0 birthdays) which led to people deducing they probably wouldn't be there for their next big birthday so wouldn't contribute.

I ended up buying all the cards that year, so at the end of the year bought a cheapy job lot of the things and told them to get on with it.

Lesson of the day - don't expect work to give a shiny shit about personal stuff

Happy belated birthday op

I do the birthday cards in my workplace, we don't do presents. My birthday is also between Christmas and New Year but I have a colleague who always does my card without fail. In your shoes I think I would stop doing birthday cards.

Adults who are very babyish about birthdays annoy me I'm afraid.

Your birthday was during the holidays, you weren't at work. It's a bit OTT and childish to expect people to remember when they get back.

I don't think OP is being babyish about her birthday it's more the about the expectation that she organise every one elses's birthday while no one does the same for her.

I would tell the next person who asks you to organise someone birthday say no as you assumed that birthdays weren't being done as you received anything again for yours.

I would announce no more work birthdays as part of a package of austerity measures.

My team did nothing for my big birthday.

It was made all the more obvious because a friend from another department came down with chocolates and flowers (from her)

I don't mind, it's reminded me that they are all self-centred cows.

Argh I feel your pain!

I once worked in an office where birthdays were marked with a cake, little party with wine, a card etc.

On my birthday, a few people said "happy birthday" but that was it! I waited in expectation all day and then went home to sulk :(

It was really mean not to celebrate your birthday :( bastards :(