To not throw my dd a second birthday party

[Belle15]

Will take her somewhere for it eg soft play and dinner somewhere but not sure she really needs an actual party
Am I a terrible mother to not bother with an actual party?

I don't do party's when they're little. They are given the choice on one when they start to hit milestones.

So no I don't think you're a terrible mother.

YANBU. Parties for one or two-year-olds are more about the grown-ups, and often the birthday child finds all the noise and fuss overwhelming. A two-year-old won't even really understand the concept of a birthday. Parties start being for the benefit of the children when they are about three (and even then smaller is often better).

Thankyou you have confirmed my thoughts- that actually it is more for the grown ups than the kiddies and I would rather spend the money I would have spent on food and drink for grown ups on and afternoon doing an activity she will enjoy.
She ended up having 2 parties for her 1st bday (due to huge families) made up almost entirely of adult relatives and a few children and can't say she really enjoyed it. Think I will wait until she's at pre school and can invite her friends

Thanks ladies

YANBU

DS1 is 5 and has never had one. He's a Sept child so has always only just started at nursery and now school when it comes up so has not had a chance to know anyone (we don't have any friends with kids his age, only younger). Next year we'll be able to throw him a proper do with his friends.

We've done days out instead and he's survived!

Second problem is finding ideas for a day out in jan with such rubbish weather??

at two staying home and baking cakes with mum snuggling up with a disney film and playing with new toys is just as much fun, she won't know or care its a birthday. Plenty of time for all that from 3 or 4 onwards tbh

They are not for the child when tney are little, but just a chance to invite the grandparents etc over. Once they start school is early enough to have a party for them that they will enjoy and remember. Even then about 4 friends rkund to thehouse is just fine.

None of mine had 'parties' with children other than cousins until they were in reception and actually had a few consistent friends they wanted to invite to tea. Grandparents and other close family cane for lunch up until then. Most people I know did similar.

My 2.9 year old April born DD has never had a party. I think we will for her 3rd as I feel we need to repay some invites more than anything.

She didn't even get an outing for her 2nd birthday as DD2 was 8 days old & DH was working. We had a birthday tea & presents for the 4 of us and blew some balloons up. She loved it!

My DS1 has never had a party, he's 7. Since he was 5 we've given him the choice of a day out or a party and he's always picked the day out thank goodness. I did feel a bit guilty about his 7th birthday. DS4 was due a few days after his birthday so we planned a birthday tea with his Grandparents the Sunday before and the Saturday before he chose to walk beside the canal and then go to burger king. DS4 was prem so I spent the whole weekend rooming in with him in special care so he would be home for DS1's actual birthday.

Softplay and dinner sounds lovely, we've done that a few times when the DC were that age.

How about a visit to a butterfly house or somewhere similar? Swimming at a further away pool with a 'river' or eq? Have a lovely day out- someone once said to me that children shod have the number if guests to correspond with their age so if you were to have a 'party' it would be to have 2 friends join you for outing/tea. Think parties are definitely more for grown ups! My dd was 5 today and had a party yesterday - she enjoyed it but was shattered today x

God, this is on my mind, too. DS turns two in the spring and in the village we moved to just over a year ago, the prevailing culture is to hire the village hall for birthdays, even two-year-olds, which, as it's quite a large space, means lots of guests. I don't honestly feel up for this, as we don't really know anyone here, and our families aren't in the UK - I am a writer and work from home, and DH works crazy hours - but I worry I'm being unfair to DS, who us a gregarious little person, and 'knows' a lot of people via his childminder...

I think your attitude is quite sensible, OP, but I fear my husband is going to think I am inflicting my own anti-social tendencies on our toddler...

We didn't have a party for Ds1's 2nd birthday - I was 2 weeks off my due date for ds2 and frankly like you couldn't see the point. I feel rather bad that we went to lots of 1st and 2nd birthday parties amongst our friends but we did always take a gift. I feel that I should do something for his third in any case but would again prefer to wait until he cares/asks for it. Maybe I'm a meanie too.

I think its fine if you don't but i've been amazed at how much DS aged just 2 has enjoyed parties over the last 6 months. Don't need much in fact just a few children is best. Packet of balloons, cake and candles. Job done.

My ds is 2 today. We have a large family and most people are busy today so we hire a hall (it's not too big!) and take lots of toys and some food. It's mid-Jan when things are back to normal.

There's no way we can fit all our family in our house, it's chaos, so this works well for us plus he does have a few little friends so we can invite them too. And no mess in my house!!

We did it last year too, and works well for us. However!! If we didn't have such a large family (dh has three brothers, all with wives and kids) I don't think we'd bother. So YANBU... but neither am I

we've done a first b'day party but obv more for us, but I was thinking to not do a second b'day party and opt for a nice day out as you've described. YANBU