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AIBU?

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Original poster

Decree nisi - advice please?

19 replies

tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 15:50

For lots of complicated reasons, my sister didn't get her decree absolute and so only has the decree nisi. They went to court and basically she got royally screwed - but as they didn't get the absolute are they actually divorced and does anything that was agreed in the court actually stand?

Thanks.

OP posts:
StripyButterfly · 01/01/2014 15:51

You're not divorced until you have the decree absolute.

StripyButterfly · 01/01/2014 15:52

Don't know about the court issue though.

nkf · 01/01/2014 15:52

They are not divorced until she gets the absolute. The court agreement is different. Does she have children? More to the point, does she have a solicitor?

diddl · 01/01/2014 15:58

Does the court agreement depend on her being divorced?

She isn't divorced btw.

Iirc though I thought that the divorce became absolute 6wks after the nisi-unless someone stopped that happening iyswim.

diddl · 01/01/2014 16:01

Thinking about it, it may be that you can apply for the absolute 6wks after being granted the nisi.

Collaborate · 01/01/2014 16:04

The financial order does not take effect until decree absolute, but she can't just scrap the order if she doesn't like it. She'd have to appeal it (and it's hard to do that).

Original poster
tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 16:11

Thanks. No, no kids. He was a prick - no other word for it and fleeced her in the years they were together, then, in his divorce papers said that it was all her! She was supposed to pay him money if, at any point in the future, she was in a serious relationship and living together (!!). She agreed just because she was finding the whole experience intolerable and wanted to get it over with (and her solicitor was a dick, but that's a whole other thread). He was supposed to pay the court expenses and also for the absolute. He never paid up for the absolute and she won't now on principle because she's sick of bailing him out financially. She also has no intention of ever marrying again anyway.

Her solicitor refused to do anymore work for her as she can't afford to pay anymore - she's paying off her legal bills so far monthly and it will take years to clear them. She can't afford another solicitor.

When I divorced we had to wait 6 weeks in order to apply for the absolute.

She's never received anything to indicate that the absolute has been granted. And he's disappeared off the face of the planet and isn't in contact with anyone. As I said, he's a prick.

OP posts:
diddl · 01/01/2014 16:30

Is there anything she can do herself online?

I have an idea that the absolute has to be applied for within a certain time?

Is a part of the divorce that she should possibly pay him money in the future?

How odd-I thought that if there were no dependants, assets were sorted out & the parties were left to support themselves!

Original poster
tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 17:02

Her ex told a good story and her solicitor was a dick. There are a lot of misogynists out there.

OP posts:
PresidentServalan · 01/01/2014 17:59

She can apply for an Absolute even if she was the Respondent - I think it costs £90 and you have to ask leave of the court (generally only a formality) - she needs a decent solicitor

Original poster
tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 18:33

She doesn't have £90 to spare and certainly can't afford a solicitor. It's not an issue as she only has to pay the bastard if she moves in with someone or wants to marry again - and, frankly, that's not likely. She never goes anywhere to meet anyone (she lives in a different part of the country to me) as she has little money, few friends and works all the time. She also thinks she's unattractive because she's overweight and the few men that she has even tried to get involved with since her "divorce" have made comments about her size and made it clear that they wanted someone smaller. Nothing I say to the contrary ever makes a difference. As far as she is concerned she will be on her own for the rest of her life. She has no kids, but is a great Aunt to mine and my other sister's.

OP posts:
Original poster
tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 18:34

Sorry, that was far more information that I intended giving. Just feel so frustrated on her behalf and wish I could help - we're completely stretched financially so can't do anything that way.

OP posts:
vole3 · 01/01/2014 18:41

If it has been more than 12 months since DN issued, she will have to sign and submit an affadavit to the court stating reason why DA not previously applied for. This will cost £45. She will also have to apply for the DA, not sure if another fee applies.
BUT, until she does they are still legally married and, god forbid
something happened to her, he as her legal spouse would inherit, unless she has a will to the contrary.

So, whilst money is tight, it is money well sent. Plus if he has disappeared from sight, how would he know if she cohabits / remarries.

vole3 · 01/01/2014 18:42

Spent, not sent

Original poster
tudorqueen · 01/01/2014 19:16

Thanks Vole. It's been 3 years. On the bright side, I suppose, if he dies she gets the lot lol. She does have a new will, I'm the executor and the 2 nieces and 2 nephews are the beneficiaries.

OP posts:
PresidentServalan · 01/01/2014 19:42

vole That's what I meant when I said £90, that's the current court fee (£45 for the statement and £45 for the application for the absolute).

Sorry - perhaps I should have clarified that.

PresidentServalan · 01/01/2014 19:43

And if she remarries she will be breaking the law which will surely just make her situation worse.

diddl · 01/01/2014 19:56

"On the bright side, I suppose, if he dies she gets the lot lol."

Unless he's made a will too, of course!

And since she has no money, how is she supposed to pay if she moves in with someone?

I really don't see how that is enforceable!

Collaborate · 01/01/2014 20:49

If he dies he still owns half.

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