to be furious with stinking sweaty husband

[Travelledtheworld]

Have been toiling in the kitchen all afternoon.
Neighbours NY party tonight.
DH has been for a long run and come back steaming and muddy.
Just been upstairs to him ASLEEP in bed.
No shower. Filthy clothes everywhere.

Oh and he has dismantled the bathroom this afternoon do a few
un-necessary DIY jobs......

Suggestions for suitable punishment please......

Yeah, it's their bed. But every post on this thread treats him like he's being an intruder. Certainly she has the right to ask him, pointedly, not to do this again, and he may be an arsehole if he continues to after being asked, but ultimately it's just her arbitrary standard and he's not actually obliged to accommodate her if he feels it's not a big deal. She's acting like she gets the right to set the rules.

Tbh I'm just taken aback at the tone of this thread. The instinct of feeling that he must be punished for this is really cruel, he didn't do it to hurt her, he was just tired, and if she want him not to do it again a bit of consideration and understanding would probably help.

I hate to do the gender switcheroo thing, but I find this upsetting and extreme enough enough to not be able to resist- Try to imagine the mumsnet thread where advice is given to a bloke to scribble "C*nt" on a woman's face for her taking a nap. It's horrible, really fucking horrible to see that being accepted here.

Aya. Sorry you're wrong.

I take back the chilli.

Kill him.

Aya sorry, i'm laughing at your worthiness. Do you think anyone really meant the OP to punish him?

What ayahushca said. If I wanted a nap when I was a bit sweaty I bloody well would. I certainly wouldn't ask hubby's permission. If the sheets were a bit dirty I'd change them. No biggie.

And Aya is NOT wrong. Course it's tongue in cheek- but MN is full of threads where some poor git's standards don't live up to the woman's. I feel sorry for them sometimes, that's all. Unless they are complete twats generally. In which case, kill em

It's the double standard I hate. It wouldn't be a joke to you if this was a woman being talking about. If it was ok to talk about women that way on this site, then I'd have no problem. I'd still think it was a stupid,distasteful joke, but I'd be able to see it as just that. But it's definitely not a joke if it's only acceptable to do it to a certain target. It's power-games and belittlement, and impossible to read without it feeling like a reminder that as a man I have less right to respect on this board than the average poster. That's a crap feeling and your perpetuating it isn't justified by the fact women may feel something similar at times in society, if anything that should inspire a bit of empathy.

But I know you feel entitled to your double standard and will use your license to be hurtful with pleasure and there's nothing I can do about it, so laugh away.

Sorry to derail the thread, that's all I have to say.

Actually i think most people would see it as an obvious joke if my DH said MrsKoala has wiped her sweaty armpit on my towel and someone said 'kill her' 'leave her' 'write cunt on her face'. I defo wouldn't have a problem with it.

Ah, if aya is a man then that lends weight to his argument. He is saying that he finds the double standards hurtful, from a man's point of view. Fair enough.

I don't know about you lot, but I (ooh-err) have SEX in my bed. With DH. Fairly active sex, which often involves both of us getting very sweaty. Sometimes there are even traces of leaking bodily fluids and everything!

I don't leap out and change the sheets straight after either.

Not from me aya, I do a lot of gardening and walking/rambling.
If I came in and collapsed in a sweaty, muddy heap on the bed, OH would think it unreasonable if I didn't do something about it when I woke up.

I don't think it's the same if you are dirtying it together Flat. The same way i'd be more than a little if DH spunked all over my pillow while alone, whereas if it got fluids on during mutual shagging, i'd probably just turn it over and go to sleep after.

OP here. This post was meant to be lighthearted !

I ended up changing the sheets and he cleaned the bathroom......

Agree with Aya.
And flatface.

Listen to yourselves....oooh sweat...oooh better change the sheets....ooohh stupid man gets no say over his own fucking bed!

Christ.

"Don't sweat the small stuff".

Just explain that the bed will be smelly and ask him to change it.
No big deal.

Yes but it's not 'his ' bed it's their bed. Big difference! IMO