to not be sure about whether to accept this offer? (sorry, long!)

[extremepie]

Quick background, I live in cornwall and I'm a SP to 2 boys 6 & 5, ds2 has ASD. Since splitting with DH I have had to give up my job as I have no friends or family in the area who can help me with childcare or otherwise! Ex moved away after we split so doesn't help me at all (financially, etc).

Ds2 is on a waiting list for a special school but so far is not being given a place because they are too full.

We are on the council list for a property (since we rent and our landlords want to sell the house) but are currently on a low band so potentially will not be housed any time soon this is all relevant I promise :D

We went back to where my parents live near london to visit over christmas, while we were there my older sister came down from where she lives (doncaster) with her family. She is aware of the situation I'm in at the moment as she talks a lot to my dad :D

Basically, to cut a long story short she, her husband & kids want to move to a cheap bungalow and rent out their family home - she has offered it to me & my boys :) This is a generous offer as her house is lovely and she would easily rent it out if she put it on the market, plus the area that she lives in is cheap to rent so I could afford the house easily whilst I am struggling money wise where I am :/

On the plus side, if I moved there I would have :
a house for me & my boys
a special needs school (and mainstream primary) very close by - since I dont drive this is major bonus!
my older sisters close by (who could potentially offer me help with childcare, which could enable me to go back to work)

on the down side:
I love the area I live in, despite it being quite rural and difficult to get around when you dont drive :/
my younger sister lives here & I would really miss her :(
the boys are settled in their school here
I dont really like the area where my sisters live and had no desire to move their (prior to this offer!).

I dont know what to do! Part of me thinks that it is a no brainer and that it would be better for the boys, that I am being selfish for considering turning it down but the other part thinks that if I move and dont like it there (the area) that I will be stuck there and end up miserable - we've moved a lot since the boys were born and I was really hoping that when we moved here it would be a chance to put down some roots, get them settled into a school and stay put. If we move again I want it to be the last time (area wise) as I dont want to keep putting the boys through relocating and changing school over and over :(

Just to make things even more complicated I am starting out in a very new relationship with someone who I really like, I was friends with him for months before me & ex split & have recently decided to take our friendship to the next step :/ If I move I will probably never see him again as he has a son down here & doesnt want to move that far away from him (understandably!)

Help!!

We are as close to the school as we can get pretty much oadcb, its a rural area and the school is down a country lane (no pavements) and up a big hill, there is nothing close to it :D

Transport round here is pants, only one bus serves our village, runs once an hour and is frequently late/very busy so I cant always get on it with ds2 in his SN pushchair but I consider myself lucky to have access to that as some villages dont even have that!

The idea of renting off family worries me I have to admit, while I think it is a really lovely idea and I really appreciate the offer I think when you mix family/money it can potentially cause all sorts of problems :/

I was just worried that I would be giving up the chance of a house when at this rate I may end up in temporary housing before we get housed - I know many people manage but I am terrified at the idea of having to do it with ds2's sleep issues, it would be a nightmare situation for all of us! If I lived in her house I could avoid it but it isnt an ideal solution :/

I love cornwall I dont want to leave!

Very true nynaeve, I think the difference when we moved before was that the boys were not at school as I think coped with the change better - no telling how they would cope with it now and if it didn't go well I couldnt come back :/

I'm not sure you should move.

There is a lot going for you where you are living now.

The main pull of moving for you is into your sisters house. Just supposing you uproot and leave everything, and then for whatever reason, it becomes impossible for you to live in your sisters house? Ie a sudden financial situation where they need to sell the house. It just seems quite risky.

I'm confused as to where you are because it says you are nearbynearby on I profile and I can't think where you mean.

Have you contacted mp about school situation? He can be quite helpful from experience.

I'm thinking school is P. Which yes nightmare to get to. Can you get help with transport once there is a space

I'm thinking school is P. Which yes nightmare to get to. Can you get help with transport once there is a space

You said you love Cornwall and don't want to leave, also that if you go, you can't come back.

I think the answer is already there, you don't want to go and its only because of the housing situation that you are considering it. Anything could go wrong renting from a family member. I would tell your landlord that you will have more luck with the council if you get an official eviction notice. Take it to the council and don't let them fob you off. We weree evicted and let them fob us off and it ended UUP being a nightmare. My friend work for shelter and she said Always persevere with the council because if they think you will go away and sort yourself out that's what they'll try and get you to do but if you stick with it then they will help.

Thank you all for your advice! I think you've confirmed what I felt in my heart and it feels good to feel justified in making what I think is the right decision! Sometimes you need a bit of outside perspective :)

Glad we could help