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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

another facebook one

44 replies

cleofatra · 30/12/2013 22:40

WTf is it with all of these missing persons posts? AIBU in thinking this is just ridiculous??

(Recent trend to post missing persons info all over fb)

OP posts:

LittlePeaPod · 31/12/2013 05:57

YABVU.... If someone you loved went missing are you saying you would not use every tool to available to try help find them? Social media reaches far and wide and that's why it's useful in these cases.

This is one of the stupidest AIBU threads I have seen for a while!

NynaevesSister · 31/12/2013 06:07

Please please please check the source/story before reposting though. Just take the name or sentence and run through google. It takes seconds.

Some of these are people hiding from abusive pasts. Others can be scams to bump up page ratings before being sold on (you can completely change a page's contents bit keep all the likes, shares etc).

Birdsgottafly · 31/12/2013 06:16

On a night out we (me and a bunch of people) "found" a young Irish lad who had come to Liverpool on a stag weekend. He had got seperated from his mates, no phone, very drunk all he knew was that he "was staying in Dave's".

He was slumped in an alley, city centres aren't safe. One of his mates had put his picture on FB and was linking people whose profiles were open, it was being shared and came up on one if our crowds News Feeds, we got him to the address that they were staying at.

I share missing people, unfortunately a lot of bodies (especially of teen lads) are found in Merseyside and Manchester, the quicker witnesses come forward, the better.

A lot of peole are found, as well.

A lot of pets are, as well, so I don't know why you would object, tbh.

Now my DD's are older teens, I hope that they would be helped, if lost in a city, in the same way.

I think this is a good use of FB. I've known a few elderly confused people that have been tracked down this way.

Original poster

cleofatra · 31/12/2013 06:20

didnt even think of that

OP posts:

daisychain01 · 31/12/2013 06:41

I'm sure there are an awful lot of people who want to become a missing person at Christmas to escape from their family, and that's no joke.

Tigresswoods · 31/12/2013 06:44

It works. A friend of the family was a high profile missing person this year. Social media was the reason the case was solved.

I agree you sometimes doubt of the story is real but this one was. It was a worrying time.

TeamSouthfields · 31/12/2013 07:06

yes it does help!!!

they share the posts and sometimes the missing person is found because so many people have shared the case.

if you had a missing loved one, would you not want the world looking for them?

let's just hope it never happens to you!

justgirl · 31/12/2013 07:27

We have an influx locally of "my 24 yo son/daughter/cousin/xyz is MISSING. Blah blah" when in reality....the kid was supposed to come home a 5 ad it's now 6...

I have children, I can imagine the fear - but I would explain the situation and ask my friends to let me know if they've seen them or wait it out a bit...not immediately start a fully fledged missing campaign when an hour later they are back to say they've been "found". Bizarre.

justgirl · 31/12/2013 07:28

That meant to say 14 not 24.

FirstStopCafe · 31/12/2013 08:04

I think it's wonderful, one of my favourite things about Facebook. I always Google the name before sharing and that usually tells me if it's genuine and recent. There was one on my wall for missing brothers the other day which was out-of-date. Both had been found safe and well some time ago so I do wish people would check before sharing

friday16 · 31/12/2013 15:13

If someone you loved went missing are you saying you would not use every tool to available to try help find them?

And if you were a victim of DV who has fled an abusive and controlling marriage, you'd not want your abuser to be able to find you, yes? Girls fleeing forced marriage? Men and women fleeing parents with disgusting views on homosexuality who want to "cure" them violently? There are all sorts of reasons why people don't want to be found, and I'd be willing to bet that the number of people who flee of their own volition and don't want to be found is substantially larger than the number of people who "go missing" and need to be "found".

sicily1921 · 31/12/2013 15:54

Utter madness, it's bad enough when adults do all this stuff in my humble op.

My niece (teen, ) went to a church Christmas service and put on FB that organist was not good. I just find this kind of thing totally appalling, who would want to criticize someone who is trying to play a church organ, trying to help people have an enjoyable service. Who the fuck cares if they are not Lang Lang?? Get. A. Life.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/12/2013 17:00

I'll just go tell my friend that it was madness for them to use social media to try to find their son's missing friend, shall I sicily? That adults should have known better? Do you also object to them using FB to talk about their deep sense of loss? [disgusted]

TheBigJessie · 31/12/2013 17:04

sicily I don't see the relationship between your niece being rude about a musician at a church service and sharing missing persons statuses.

Me, I don't criticise church musicians on facebook, and I occasionally share missing person announcements, after a bit of a google first.

KatieScarlett2833 · 31/12/2013 17:08

It's one of the best things about FB Io

LRDtheFeministDragon · 31/12/2013 17:29

I think they're really useful.

But I do wish people wouldn't keep sharing them, multiple times, or bumping the post to ask if there's news - it feels invasive and a bit like rubbernecking.

Topaz25 · 31/12/2013 18:27

YABU. What's ridiculous about using every resource, including Facebook, to help locate a missing person? If it was a member of your family you would want everything possible to be done to help so why not help other families?

I only share official alerts though, I'm a member of a page called Child Alerts UK and they have a policy that each alert is known to the police and has a valid reference number to prove this. I mainly share alerts local to me but I will also share alerts for other areas if I have Facebook friends there.

Facebook missing person alerts are important because of "missing white woman" syndrome, a phenomenon defined by sociologists as an undue focus on young, white women who disappear, with the disproportionate degree of media coverage they receive being compared to cases concerning missing women of other ethnicities, socioeconomic classes, or with missing males. I have seen many missing person cases on Facebook that have not been covered in the mainstream media or not received anywhere near the same amount of attention as the Madeleine Mccann case, for example. Facebook alerts mean they can still reach a large audience, which increases their chances of being found. If you think the amount of missing people you see on Facebook is overwhelming, that's because it reflects the true extent of the problem, which isn't shown in the mainstream media.

Lilicat1013 · 31/12/2013 18:40

I will share any that the local police force post, that way I know it is legitimate. I am more careful about non official ones.

I also share any lost or found pet notices people found. In the last few days three missing dogs have been reunited with their owners on my town's Facebook page and I was so grateful to all those who shared my lost pet message when my mother's cat was missing.

BrianTheMole · 31/12/2013 18:43

I do share them as its a good way of getting it out there fast. But I do check they are still missing before sharing.

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