to feel pissed off at dh having a go at me every morning

[tiredoldmum]

I think I have had enough of his lazy lodging grumpy ways.

I am getting ready to apply to some jobs starting next week and this week I am studying and preparing.

DH has taken to constantly spying over my shoulder at what I am looking at and having a go at me.

He saw me looking at something related to my old career(Business analyst) and he said well I thought you weren't doing that anymore. I said I am just looking. Then he just starts in on me. He said you need to pick something and stick with at as you do something for 6 months and don't finish. He said you spent a lot of time on a project and didn't finish it.

Hmmm well maybe because HE wasn't working and wasn't looking for work and we were losing our house and he had this hair brain idea to move across the country for no reason to some rural shit hole.

Then because of HIS dirty hygiene, I ended up in hospital for a week with a bad infection.

We were finally able to move back to the city and been busy unpacking and organising.

So he cleaned up the house the past 2 days while I was working on my cv and interview questions and he is stomping around saying I haven't been doing anything.

He hoovers and mops the floor one time and thinks he deserves a damn medal.

So now he has the nads because I am doing something positive and getting back on my feet to start pestering me and having a go at me first thing in the morning which of course really is a downer on my mood. I suffer from anxiety and depression as it is.

I have worked since I was 14 years old and he has worked 2 months out of the past 2 years so he should just shut his gob when it comes to my work!

The bottom line is I am going to be the one getting a job and he will just sit around and play video games and moan at me and pester me.

Lol at 'going to university'.

Put your ears back and get that job for yourself. Open a bank account in your name only.

Leave him as soon as you have three months' pay and the payslips to prove it. Don't let the grass grow under your feet. He is not going to get better and life is too short. 'Things were okayish until...' sounds like a ringing endorsement of the relationship .

You don't need anyone's permission or some far out, rock solid reason to call it a day. He is not only unable to take responsibility for himself, he spreads the rot to you, both medically and by trying to knock your confidence and bring you down to his level.

Do not be vague about your plan to leave. Find yourself a flat or even a bedsit by X date. Then leave on XX date which you will circle on your calendar.

Keep a checklist of what needs to be done and do it. Think of your list as your gift to yourself for 2014.

He sounds charming

I can't think of any reason why you should stay, he's trying to put you down, is critical, unhygienic, not working and not even making an effort, and the slightest help around the house is met with more martyrdom and an attack on you.

BA is a good job, can you get back into it? I think you could turn your life around, get a nice little place of your own, earn your own money and not have to put up with all of his crap.

One think that jumps out at me is that it does not take 2 days to write a CV, you could have helped him clear up, even if not as much, in that much you were being unreasonable.

Otherwise he is being a bit of an arse, but perhaps he feels depressed that you might have the skills to get a decent job and he doesn't.

I think you should read the thread Trinity. Maybe the part where the OP complains about her DH wanting a medal for the odd bit of cleaning he does? Or this -- 'I am getting ready to apply to some jobs starting next week and this week I am studying and preparing.'

True, he is responsible for himself.

I will work on getting a job next week and begin saving up to leave.

He does have some redeeming qualities. We have lots of fun together.

I just can't deal with the poor me victim and constant moaning about how done by they are.

Maybe he is mad or jealous of my career but he has had every opportunity to do the same thing. I worked very hard to get to where I am. I didn't just sit around and wait for someone to knock on my door and hand me a job.

Australia is a lucky country. There is lots of opportunity here. It isn't like we are in some third world country living in a hut or a slave somewhere.

He has had every opportunity to get a free education and he has heaps of certificates. He is the one who has done nothing. He prefers to rort the system feeling entitled to benefits while pretending to look for work. Preferring to sit and watch tv and play games while living off someone else's hard work.

I hope this will be your year, Tiredoldmum.

he washes properly now or I won't let him near me. It took the doctor telling him though.

It wouldn't take the doctor telling him, if it were me! I would tell him myself!

Good god if he was filthy enough to give you an infection his cock must be stinking to high heaven, that alone would be enough for me to tell him to bugger off. ??

Take the advice on here and get rid asap, he is emotiobally abusive, manipulative and a dirty bastard.

This will be a great year!

I did tell him to bathe more and he would just laugh and ignore what I said.

He got into the dirty habit because he realised nobody would hire him if he showed up to an interview filthy.

Hang on, did you have a thread before when you thought everything was going to sort itself out once you moved?

It hasn't.

It won't.

FFS LTB.

Chuck him out. Don't ltb - he should be the one to go.