Ok, I already suspect I'm being totally irrational and quite possible a little psycho so let's put it to the (affectionately named) vipers and see how it goes!
Back ground........
Ds age 13, autistic, terrible meltdowns for last 3 weeks. Struggles in crowds and is easily wound up by other children. Ds age 2 is dairy free, not an outside reaction but an inside one where his bowel actually stops working needing medical help if he eats any type of dairy.
MIL not sympathetic about either boys difficulties. Other in laws positively rude and judgemental about eldest sons autism and their children ,although old enough to know better , know which buttons to press and like to light the fire and watch ds burn!
New Year's Eve was meant to be a calm affair at MIL, we had organised to stop over and that she was doing a meal New Year's Day for everyone to join.
Rang mil to check times etc today to be told that I laws are also coming now and stopping over and kids had to bring sleeping bags. Also then told that instead of a dinner (safe for dairy free ds) she was now doing an all night buffet (not safe)!
Already I'm freaking out! Both these new additions to the night mean I will have to remain sober (dh is teetotal but he can't watch both boys) and will be constantly following 2 year old ds around ensuring we don't end up in A&E. Then we have to try and control ds13 but from past experience I just know the nephews will kick him over the edge and me and dh will be seen as the bad ones when ds kicks off.
Mil basically said tough and it will all be ok and if big ds kicks off he should be smacked!! And if small ds eats dairy then dh can go hospital!
I've told them we are no longer coming, dh isn't too happy, have said he can go but he's insisting he will stay with us. I'm sure the dcs will be sad but I cannot deal with the stress. It's been a crap few months and things are dragging me down.
So come on then. Hit me with the YABU!!