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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I tell my sister?

16 replies

Lolalocket · 30/12/2013 13:21

On Sat we had a big family photo shoot booked for my entire family. My parents booked and paid for it. It's something they really wanted to do to have a photo of all the family.
Sat morning DS2 woke with a temp. I gave him some Nurofen which seemed to bring it down and he was in great form. However Dsis has 10 week old twins. So I rang her to let her know and see if she wanted to cancel. She was happy enough to ahead, saying that we'd just keep him away from them.
At the photo shoot it was pretty obvious her DH was pissed off. He was giving out to her a lot, muttering about 'the fucking sick child', and rushed them all out the door immediately the group shot was done. BIL is quite an anxious person tbh and I understand he didn't want his babies getting sick. I did feel sorry for my DSis though as I knew she was getting it in the ear and would most likely bear the brunt of his bad mood.
Yesterday DS2's breathing got bad and we ended up in a&e last need having him treated for croup. He's a lot better now. But here's the question. Should I tell Dsis this is what has happened, considering this will trigger another mood from BIL that she will bear the brunt of. There was no contact between the kids at he shoot, but if it was anyone else I would tell them. She is having a tough enough time with young twins and I don't really want to cause more anxiety to him and therefore make her life more unpleasant?
Retreading this I know I come across as over protective of DSis. She is my baby sister though (as you can probably tell) and I don't like her to be worried or upset.

OP posts:

2Tinsellytocare · 30/12/2013 13:23

When my toddler had croup my baby didn't catch it from her and they were together all the time, I wouldn't worry about it

RandyRudolf · 30/12/2013 13:24

Yes, tell her. I'd want to know. She doesn't need to tell him if she doesn't want a further ear bashing. She can quietly keep an eye on them herself.

atomicyoghurt · 30/12/2013 13:25

You can tell your sister and she can decide whether to tell her partner.

She sounds pretty sensible saying it was fine to go ahead with the photo shoot and if I was her I'd like to know but wouldn't tell dh.

bigbarns · 30/12/2013 13:25

I think you should tell her, just in case, are there any particular signs she could watch out for? Like you said hopefully her twins will be ok but I think best that you warm her. At this time of year there are germs all over the place so you can't necessarily attribute a child's illness to having been in contact with a specific other child. I hope your little one gets better soon.

atomicyoghurt · 30/12/2013 13:26

X post with randy but we agree!

atomicyoghurt · 30/12/2013 13:26

X post with randy but we agree!

LIZS · 30/12/2013 13:27

Croup itself isn't contagious, the virus which triggers it can present as a cold but there is no immediate risk. Presumably she will look out for any symptoms anyway but might be nice to let her know.

hippoesque · 30/12/2013 13:32

My eldest is prone to croup that needs hospital treatment every time. My infant has never caught it from the elder (4 bouts since infant was born)
I don't think it's a contagious thing. HV said it was unlikely that the infant will get it just because the eldest has it. If you know BIL will get a strop on then just have a quiet word in your sisters ear.

Original poster

Lolalocket · 30/12/2013 13:37

I'm fairly confident she will tell him, as she will feel she should. He would certainly be of the view that she would be wrong to keep something like this from him and would be even more annoyed if she did. I think she would agree with that view.
Reassuring to know its not contagious though.

OP posts:

BohemianGirl · 30/12/2013 13:41

Croup isnt contagious.

PeanutPatty · 30/12/2013 13:48

I'd tell her but mention very early on that it's not contagious. There may be a chance that someone else may Inform her of the croup and then I imagine she'd be cross that you'd kept it from her.

SueDoku · 30/12/2013 14:00

Croup is not contagious. My DD had it every time she cut a tooth (it seemed to go on for ever - all the wall paper peeled off her bedroom because we had to have a humidifier on every night..!) but my then toddler DS was completely unaffected.
Hope your DS recovers soon

Garcia10 · 30/12/2013 14:12

According to the NHS website croup is contagious and is spread in a similar manner to the common cold.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/Croup/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I'd definitely tell your sister if I was you.

LIZS · 30/12/2013 14:19

Not all cases in which the virus is spread develop into croup - you are misreading it. More often it gives mild cold like symptoms.

DameDeepRedBetty · 30/12/2013 14:24

I wouldn't, if you think she'll share with her husband. He'll just use it as a stick to beat you both with, whether the twins catch it or not. I'm sure she's a good parent who's keeping a close eye on her babies anyway. Might be best to let phone go to voicemail if you see it's her for a day or two, so that you don't end up having to deliberately not tell her if she calls about something else. Obviously check the message in case it's important though, rather than just a call for a natter.

Goldmandra · 30/12/2013 14:27

Croup is a complication of a viral infection. Some children are prone to it and others aren't. Certain viruses are more likely to cause it than others. Lots of children have the virus without developing croup.

If them knowing about it will cause further stress and upset I wouldn't mention it. Knowing won't help them to prevent it.

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