To ask what you want your oh do for fun

[Hithere123]

Just that really. I have list all sence of the person I was before I had children. How can I inject some fun and passion into my marriage

DP and I cycle together a lot. We also "potter" where we walk into town on a Sunday and get a Wetherspoons burger (classy).

We really struggle, as have 3 kids, one not at school and no one on hand to help. We occassionally make it for a night out together, and play the odd game of tennis in the park with the kids ruining it for us by wanting to join in.

We play board games, means TV isn't on so we talk more. Plus if you are feeling randy there are plenty of ways to have 'forfeits'

How old are your children? Can you get someone to look after them for one night/day every two weeks?

We don't have children, but are renovating a house with two jobs and a full time degree between us. As a result we have very few "us" days.

Once every two weeks we try and do something solely for us - we take a day off the house, jobs and studying and either go out and do something (a walk, meal, coffee, shopping - although this tends to be house related) or stay in and watch a film, TV, football and cook a nice meal. We had one of those days yesterday, a bit indulgently but after a week of being around other people constantly, we needed us time. We had a long potter in the supermarket, a bacon sandwich and watched the football/TV and then had a lovely meal. We napped and hugged and it was nice not to focus on any of the stuff around us. It didn't cost a dime (beyond the usual supermarket shopping that would have happened anyway) and helped restore the batteries.

Every fortnight on a Saturday night he cooks me a lovely meal, we share a bottle of wine. We sit down to eat after the kids are in bed. No tv on, we put our mobiles away and we actually talk to each other. It needn't cost a fortune or involve babysitters, just spending time together without everyday distractions.

Lurking for inspiration.

Could do with a bit more background.

Do you have family support or a network of babysitters?
Do you have work patterns that will allow you to cover each other for time out of the home separately? Do you have any disposable income?

We do stuff separately (he plays cricket and 5-a-side , I dance and go to the theatre and (before I had the baby) we both used to go to the football (different teams))

Because we both do things for ourselves we value the time we spend together more and we make sure we designate one day at the weekend as 'family day' and the three of us do something together.

We have a lot of family babysitting support as well and can go for meals or to things we've been invited to as well if we want, although we don't do that often.

Supporting each other to do things is a massive thing imo - it helps you both feel valued by the other and gives you something for yourself instead of just being wife and mum. It also gives you time to miss each other. If you can do that for each other you can have 'date nights' at home if you don't have external support.

Good luck x

Lurking for ideas. 3 young(ish) DCS and am dying for some fun with DH.

I have 2 dc and one on the way. My marriage is on the verge of ending and he says he wants more fun. He has disposable income. Is away on work trips a lot and has quite an exciting life. I think coming home to boring me isn't what he wants at the moment. I don't know how to be part of his world really. ??

Think he needs to be more specific about his idea of fun. The type of fun he is having on work trips away is not compatible with a pregnant wife and two children. This is not your problem to fix. Sounds like he enjoys his time pretending to be a bachelor a bit too much.

My dh doesn't do fun or relaxing time, any time spent not working or completing practical jobs is a waste of time.

We watch films together, sometimes we visit some friends of ours and have lunch or they come to us....we cycle when the weather is better. We have little spare cash....we play quite a bit....you know, stupid things really...singing daft songs.

That's not the two of you, that's him being a fucking wanker.

We don't do much together as no babysitters & can't afford to pay for one
So we each go out once a week separately - me to the pub with a mate & him to his hobby
We watch boxsets together like Big Bang Tgeiry & New Girl
We did watch the whole of Lost together hours of my life I'll never get back
We each go away for a weekend separately with mates : me a Girls weekend in London, this year dh's was a uni mates reunion
We've never been the sort of couple who have to do everything together which is lucky as we haven't got that much in common