Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think CSA payments do not cover school photos?

23 replies

jinglemel · 29/12/2013 23:33

ExH has always insisted that his maintenance payments via the CSA mean that he should be able to order whatever school photo, dance photo, personalised items from school etc he likes without additional payment to me. I disagree and said he needs to pay me for them ifhe wants them. He isn't involved with dds schooling or activities so cannot order them himself.

Last year he took several weeks but eventually paid for them. Now I'm waiting for around £30 for school photos which I ordered for him in early October. I know I should've held onto them til he'd paid, and usually do, but also know he'll eventually pay and feel like he likes this little bit of control over me. £30 is nothing to him but a lot to me, which he is well aware of but I'm certainly not going to beg for it. Aibu to think maintenance doesn't cover these expenses and to refuse to order anything for him in future unless I have payment up front?

OP posts:
ilovesmurfs · 29/12/2013 23:35

Yanbu at all, I agree get payment up front nex ttime.

Also you shoudl be able to order online, if you give hi the details adm the code on yiur daighters photo he can then order himself.

grumpyoldbat · 29/12/2013 23:42

YANBU.

PeriodFeatures · 29/12/2013 23:42

I dont know how it works at your dc school but we get a set of pictures. I usually give one to DM, one to Dmil etc. Can you not just give him a picture? They are his DC after all and he is supporting them financially. It sounds a little bit tight to me.

ashtrayheart · 29/12/2013 23:44

Maintenance is for maintenance not school pictures etc! And he should do it himself.

ashtrayheart · 29/12/2013 23:44

Period you get free pictures from school?

PeriodFeatures · 29/12/2013 23:45

No, a set. 1 big one and four smaller ones.

jinglemel · 29/12/2013 23:46

At our school Period, you order and pay for precisely what you want. I ordered one medium at £9, he ordered three large (!) at £30. That's a weeks food for dd, hardly me being tight.

OP posts:
HaroldTheGoat · 29/12/2013 23:46

No he should pay.

Just stop ordering them unless he pays upfront.

PeriodFeatures · 29/12/2013 23:47

£35. Sorry. I'm guessing he wants a whole set in which case YANBU. If he wants one and you get a set then perhaps you could give him one. Sorry, past bedtime!

PeriodFeatures · 29/12/2013 23:47

YANBU then

BrianTheMole · 29/12/2013 23:48

No of course they don't. Get him to order his own in future.

jinglemel · 29/12/2013 23:49

Smurfs he has my bank details so could just transfer it as ordering online means paying postage too. But I guess that's his lookout and I should stop being considerate on that one. It's difficult though as I try to be inclusive and offer him copies of things like dancing photos etc - things he wouldn't know exists if I didn't tell him - and his reluctance to pay makes me feel like he's throwing it back in my face

OP posts:
Notcontent · 29/12/2013 23:49

Yanbu!!!
The money is to help YOU pay for expenses associated with being a lone parent to your dd.

Tabliope · 30/12/2013 00:23

I'd just order what you want in future. Not sure if it works the same with your school photos but with our school photos we can order more online with the code so I'd just give him the code in future and he can order what he wants and pay the P&P.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 30/12/2013 00:26

Can you order prints off line.

With DC pics you can but you don't get the same deals.

If so email him the order number

amistillsexy · 30/12/2013 00:27

Next time, tell him to hive you a cash or cheque with his order. That's what you have to go when you put the order in at school, isn't it?

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/12/2013 00:29

Yanbu.

Just stop ordering things for him.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 00:31

Dont order them unless you have the cash at the time of ordering.

WilsonFrickett · 30/12/2013 00:50

Order yours online, pass him the 'official' form so he can order his own. You know this is about control - take it back!

POTC · 30/12/2013 01:23

With ours you can order online with free delivery to the school, or pay for the order at school with 2 different cheques (grandparents bought a set and I bought one photo, paid separately)
Make him do it himself or pay up front in future
As for not being involved in schooling, did you know school are obliged to send copies of everything to the non-resident parent if requested? That way it's entirely up to him to bother!

NatashaBee · 30/12/2013 01:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsLouisTheroux · 30/12/2013 09:32

Don't order them for him!
Photocopy the order form and give it to him.

Foxy800 · 30/12/2013 11:11

I agree it is all on top. My ex gives me a ridulous amount of maintence so I make sure if he wants things like this he pays on top.x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page