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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that some people always seem to come up smelling of roses no matter how they behave?

3 replies

sugarcoatediceberg · 29/12/2013 19:06

I was friends with a group of 9 other women. We all met at a toddler group when our children were small, several years ago, and have had regular coffee mornings/nights out.

One member of the group is quite a gossip and likes to divide and conquer a bit. The problem is, she causes all kinds of problems and divisions but somehow always manages to talk her way out of things. If we meet up and several group members can't come, she will bitch about one of the members that isn't there, or just generally dissect their life/how they parents their children/their house.

She has caused no end of small arguments and fall outs with her shit stirring, so much so that we have now split up into three smaller groups that meet up. Yet despite being the root cause of it all and of all the problems, she has managed to stay friends with everyone and gets invited to everything. She'll do things and then make out that she is just clumsy or socially not great, and her behaviour seems to be overlooked.

I know it sounds very childish, but it really bugs me. I seem to be the only person that can see through her and see her true behaviour.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/12/2013 19:09

Do you pull her up on her behaviour though, or do you just sit and listen to her slagging other people off?

Sometimes it only takes one person to question that type of behaviour, and all of a sudden others join in with the questioning/pulling her up.

LetZygonsbeZygons · 29/12/2013 19:11

yes, I ghet this. Im the peacemaker in the family and my DSIS trhe shitstirrer amongst other things yet Im treated like the bad guy and shes got a halo round her head.

mewmeow · 30/12/2013 09:32

Yanbu, it seems to be the way of the world I'm afraid. Always seems to be one character a bit like this in every group of friends, and they always get away with it! If you call them up on it it'll most likely be you who gets the boot, that's what it's like with manipulative people, they'll make out some how to everyone that you're the one in the wrong.

So many times I've drifted away from groups of friends because I couldn't stand it any more, the bitching behind people's backs and the blowing hot and cold. Sometimes I can't be bothered and just get left behind. I hate to say this but somehow it does just seem to be a bit more common in big groups of girls. Maybe because they've been socialised to compete, and have more of a struggle against the world than men. Now I prefer hanging out with dp's friends, or having a few mates who aren't part of a big group. Causes a lot less insecurity.

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