To add this to the bottom of my listing on gumtree

[Bluemonkeyspots]

Before coming to my home please ask yourself.....

1/ do we agree that we want/need this item. It's really not nice for myself or my children that you have a screaming argument in my living room then slam the doors when I ask you to take it outside.

2/ do you have magical powers that makes a van appear from thin air? If not then it's possibly not the best idea to decide you like and want the item but have no way of getting it home.

3/ it's lovely that some of you like my items so much but messaging me every few hours to ask if something is still available (with lots of smily faces) but not wanting to come see it is just weird.

4/ if I'm selling something for £100 collection only the chances are I'm not going to accept £20 and deliver it for you.

Aarrrrgghhhh

YANBU. Fact

Also asking if I have proof of how old a wooden table and chairs are.

THEY'RE WOODEN!

They don't have a expiry date, as long as you are happy with the look and condition surely that should be enough!

I'm quite curt with my responses. If they ask me a question and the answer is clearly stated in the advert I just respond 'read the advert'.

I was advertising a rental property some time ago. I particularly specified that anyone interested should email me including a contact number and I would call them to arrange a viewing. I can't believe the amount of idiots who couldn't follow those simple instructions.

I put a pair of wooden internal doors on free cycle a few weeks ago. Free, collection only. They were 2 years old and had cost £40 each.

Someone replied that they'd be happy to 'take them off my hands' so long as I was willing to cover their petrol costs and give them a written 12 month guarantee.

You win chat!

Although given that I have experienced all this in two days who knows what I'm in for before I get rid of everything!

And please don't say you want it then tell me you can't pick it up for a week.

And please don't ask me if it works - I wouldn't be selling it if it's broken/or I would state it is broken in the advert.

And please don't try to haggle with me. It's £5. It said £5 in the advert.

And please buy from a shop if you want a brand new in perfect condition item. Don't expect the same for under a tenner on Gumtree.

Yanbu

Chat!

Gumtree and freecycle are the places of nightmares.

A friend was selling an iPad on gumtree once and got the most insane offers for it.

Only if I can add

"Please don't apply for this job if you are going to

Ooops "please don't apply for this job if you are going to demand to

Argh my phone is possessed

Anyway basically demand to be paid before starting

Send a response that just says "I'm needing a job" with no contact details and just your first name

Oh oh and my favourite

Don't

Argh

Don't take the job in the Indian Restaurant then call everyone "Pakis" on your first shift.

I've given up on Gumtree and Freecycle. We put a large old-style (box!) television on Freecycle. Amongst the replies I received were "is it HD-ready? If not I want it upgraded before I pick it up", "can you give me a flat screen one instead? I don't think that one will fit", "can I get it home on my bike?", "I'll get rid of it for you if you bring it round" and my personal favourite, "I want a PS2 or Xbox and games and DVD player too. You can drop off anytime between 2pm and 6pm then I'm down the pub" - presumably to flog the various Freecycle bits he was hoping to get!

I've another two people coming tomorrow so hopefully I'm a bit more successful with them. Someone took a wardrobe away tonight but it would not fit in his small hatchback (?) so dh has tied it to his roof rack using his own rope. He was lovely though and totally brightened up my night. I keep getting visions of Mr Bean in that episode where he sits on a arm chair on top of the car and drives it home.