To make DP go and live in the shed?

[EagleRay]

DP got me some lovely boiled wood Haflinger slippers for Christmas. We've just had lunch and he managed to drop a load of smoked mackerel on the kitchen floor, which I have unwittingly walked through several times with the lovely slippers on (the soles are wool too)

This is the latest in a long, long line of household mishaps caused by him (spillages, fires, breakages etc)

I don't have a shed but am happy to spend the rest of the day building one!

Kill him instead?

Why give yourself extra shed-building work?

fuck - wool not wood

I'm so angry I can't even bloody spell propery!

*properly

I would kill him and use the wooly slippers to soak up the blood, like a kind of foot shaped tampon.

The absorbancy in those babies should be ace.

Go immediately and get all of your nice things. Place them in a large pile for you stupid 'd'h to shit right up. What on earth were you thinking, having stuff you love

Fumming and discusted on your behalf op

I have a big tool kit I could bring over?

You could probably save the slippers if you rub neat washing up liquid into the soles (they are washable, right?) - I'm talking quite a lot of neat washing up liquid though, make sure it starts to smell of washing up liquid instead of mackerel - then rinse it out with warm water. Should get most of it out.

Then send him out with a flatpack and a toolkit and make him build his own shed to live in.

Could I send mine over too because if he doesn't get control on the snoring I fear a divorce is pending!

YABU. It's getting on for the middle of the afternoon. You'll never have a shed built by tonight. Put a tent up for now and get to B&Q first thing in the morning.

The slippers have been boiled to death in order to get that dense 'boiled wool' slipper effect. You can wash them on a warm wash and they'll be fine. drying them is another issue. They'll take ages
YANBU BTW!

Thanks Thumbnuts they've gone in the washing machine and we've gone to the pub. 'D'P is gonna be busy this eve with the washing up liquid if they still smell...

God - I'm still raging! This is worse than the time he spilt honey on the coir stair carpet

Silly me huh for daring to have some nice things!

Omg woman, what are you thinking? YABVU. You will set a dangerous precedent for those of us whose OHs would love To live in the shed.

Build a walk in closet and make him live among your Jimmy Choos. That'll learn him

I have a pop up Dora tent if you want to borrow?

thanks Giles that would be ace as have spent the afternoon in the pub commiserating my kipper-slippers and erection of tent hasn't happened yet. I have a horrible feeling there might be an ancient covenant on my house forbidding the keeping of livestock in the back garden, but I'm sure a few nights won't matter...

The irony is that DP is a scientist and yet somehow lives his life in a constant state of surprise at how materials react with each other: fish with wool, metal with microwave, damp laundry with microwave (I shit you not), plastic kettle with electric hob, cutlery handles with hot pan, honey with natural flooring, wing mirror with wall and so on.