My family and dh's family are lovely people but are just not at all family orientated and do things because they think they should rather than because they want to.
We are the paupers in the family which is no problem day to day but does mean we cannot match on a cash value.
For Christmas we received cheques through the post from: my mum, my dad (separated), bil & sil, my sister and MIL (FIL sadly deceased). No one visited prior to Christmas and when speaking on phone they are saying we will see them at some point next year. They all live in a half an hour radius of us so not miles.
We cannot match their cheques, I've brought gifts with careful consideration, the ones who I've dropped them round to didn't say anything when I've checked they've got their gifts they've all moaned about them. The others I've still got their gifts under the tree. They are all difficult to buy for because they are all in a position if they want something they buy it.
AIBU to say to them a cheque through the post does not make Christmas, and can we stop exchange of gifts/money. I can buy my unit gifts with the money that I've saved not buying their gifts, and they can use their money buying whatever they want.