to expect to be told where my children will be over new year

[MsColour]

When discussing Christmas plans in September my ex said that he wanted to take the children to N Ireland to see his family. He does not usually take them at Christmas - when we were together his mum would tell him not to bring them and just go on his own. I asked him to seriously consider whether this was a wise decision with the weather often being dodgy at this time of the year for travelling and also ds has just finished his first term at school and will be knackered. But I said i'm fully aware I can't stop him if that's what he really wants to do.

Since then I have asked him repeatedly whether or not he is planning on taking them and he hasn't responded. He is due to have them Tuesday and I still haven't had a response. i'm on the verge of saying that if he doesn't tell me he doesn't have them but know that's not a great thing to say.

Could he tell you when he picks them up and just be keeping you hanging to wind you up?

Because really he's done nothing technically yet (in his head) because he hasn't had them and might (scraping the barrel) have been too busy to reply to you or planning on telling you when he's decided (which he'll leave to the very last minute).

Sounds frustrating though.

They wouldn't be going if I hadn't been informed. I inform ex of all trips and visits away and provide contact details and addresses, I expect the same in return.

If he's anything like my ex it will all be pie in the sky and he will be too "busy" to have even arranged it at all.

We'll won't he need a passport?

Do you need a passport if it's within the UK joules?

I don't know! Is op in the uk!

Do you always tell your ex when you're taking the kids away within the UK?

If you do, then yanbu. If you don't, and would take them away for a night without telling him, then yabu. Can't have double standards. It's his time with the kids, and unless he's leaving the UK, or abusing/neglecting them, it's up to him where that time is spent.

DH and his EX never tell each other anything about trips etc for their children within the UK. However when we have taken them out of the UK he has always done it with his Ex's agreement and she has always had a contact number of our accommodation.

Despite everything you still have to be grown up about these things. Perhaps he hasn't finalised anything yet for whatever reason. It would certainly be more positive if he advised you before hand and you may need to organise some extra or different clothes depending on what they may be doing - unless he has a whole wardrobe of clothes already.

hmmm I must be honest and say "if I don't know, the kids won't go" - it just wouldn't sit right with me.