To think we should get on for DD's sake?

[cls77]

Am furious at myself! My ex was an emotionally abusive arse who never took any interest in our dd from the day I found out I was expecting. He had a drug habit which was hidden by compulsive lying, and had an emotional affair (at the least) towards the end of our marriage when I eventually plucked up the courage to chuck him out last summer. He doesn't bother with dd but portrays the poor hard done by act to his family, who happily believe him. I could go on and on...
He turned up with dd tonight, first time he's seen her in weeks and only with Granny's supervision. He walked straight in my home and started talking quite normally to me, so I had a conversation with him as I thought would be worth a shot, even for dd sake. He then turned totally and started shouting and just laughing at me, asking for his stuff that was left in the house, and telling me what a joke I was, and how he was so much happier now I wasn't with him and he had his gf. Why did I let him even come in? I thought he was just wanting to collect a couple of things and as he was ok with me I thought ok, but he turned so nasty. It was the grinning and blatant nastiness that upset me? This was the love of my life, 15yrs we had together and it's come to this? AIBU to think we could ever get on for DD's sake?

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It's not unreasonable to say enough's enough with someone who treats you like that in your own home.

Any benefit to your DD that you think might come from you both getting on would be totally cancelled out by her seeing him act like a twat.

I hate smirking, it brings out the rage in me.

How did you get him out?

I bet your so much happier now you're not with him aren't you?

Just try to cling on to that as much as you can.

Thanks Agent, I know I am better off really without him, but it's so hard. I agree his behaviour just cancels out what good he may have done. DD doesn't want to see him on an ongoing basis as he just doesn't bother with her, he tries to play Disney Dad around his family, and he is a compulsive liar, so they'll believe anything he says. I also suffer a bit from OCD and am labelled as a nutter by him so I'm an easy scapegoat for his shot behaviour!
I got him to leave by telling him I'd sold something he was looking for, it had been here over a year, I'd bought it, and he hadn't paid any maintenance at all by that point.
Just upsets me that the man Ioved has turned into this smirking horrible horrible man (I too hate smirking, also brings on rage!)

in an ideal world, you'd be civil for dd's sake- in reality, he's a knobend and unless he grows up quick-smart, it ain't gonna happen... just be glad you're no longer with him.

I have OCD and have also had people try to discredit me as a mentalist because of it.

Just shows you when they're running out of sound arguments/desperately trying to hurt you IMO

Don't let the wankstain grind you down.

How old's your DD?

Dd is 11, he actually thought she was 13 when he saw her yesterday?! How ducked up is that?!!

You tried to get on with him and be civil, so you did the right thing and can hold your head up high.

It's not your fault he is a twat that doesn't even have the ability to behave like a normal reasonable human being.

It is sad when a relationship that produced the most wonderful thing in your life turns into something horrible, but my guess would be that your ex isn't really happy with his life. People who are happy and content with their own lives don't feel the need to put other people down to make themselves feel better. Obviously it shouldn't be your problem either way if he is happy or not, so it's not worth wasting your energy on listening to a word he said.