to be annoyed by this?

[hohohumhum]

Earlier this year I paid for my parents to have a holiday, nothing fancy, it was a seven night UK break that they'd chosen, I paid £600 for them. They are pensioners, though they have reasonable amounts of money and are not hard up.

Dsis decided to go with them, so Parents paid for her to go and also her travel costs (travel costs around £50 per person). I was also able to go, but paid my own accommodation and travel costs. I was a bit that they paid for dsis to go after I'd paid their tickets, dsis could have afforded her own accommodation and transport costs.

Aibu to be annoyed by this? DParents have just hinted (pretty much asked) if I'll pay for another holiday for them this year, but I've also found out that they paid for dsis to have a new kitchen for c£10k! I wasn't meant to know that but mum let it slip accidentally. It seems a bit weird that whilst I don't expect or want anything from them and would like to treat them, they are happily paying for dsis and she's happily taking it....

If you do it you are being a complete mug. Sorry, but that is the truth of it.

YANBU

We've got a slightly similar situation in our family. We essentially subsidised some other family members' lifestyle recently. It's very galling, when the family members in question never contribute in any way, and feel permanently hard-done-by!

Fredfredgeorge I guess my opinion comes because my gifts are given freely without expectation or condition.

If the OP didn't tell their parent they got the hiday because she thought they couldn't afford to do it for themselves then it's not their fault the OP was mistaken.

I'm sure most if us treat people to gifts for nothing other than the joy of giving, even though the recipient could afford it themselves.

So yes, the OP will be annoyed because she bought a holiday after mistakenly believe her parents to be hard up. They aren't mind readers a probably just thought she was being nice rather than thinking they needed it. They may also be glad that this meant they can get a holiday away with at least one of their daughters which must be very nice and probably not something they'd have been able to do otherwise. They will hopefully have a holiday they'll cherish memories of forever thanks to the OP's kindness.

I think YABU. You gave the holiday as a gift. They did not claim the need for it because they were hard up. Their decision help your sister is completely separate and you may feel a little aggrieved that they have not offed you a similar gift - fair enough but still unrelated to the holiday. Your decision to use savings that were needed for a rainy day was perhaps a bit foolish.
Give gifts without strings, don't spend more than you can afford - that means don't clear out your savings!!!

YANBU. I would not be paying for another either.

mrslouis what part of 'they chose to take their other daughter' is passing you by? If my parents were going away with me i would be very surprised if they didnt offer to pay for my sister to come aswell. And she is cery confortably off too. Its just a nice thing to do for your family. People are so odd.

sillybilly Why could the sister not pay for herself?
OP did. The sister is not short of money according to the OP.

You did a nice thing paying for your parents to go on holiday, but I don't get why they are asking you to pay again for another.
They are obviously not short of a bob or two if they are subsidising your sister.

I wouldn't be paying for this holiday simply because they are "asking" you to pay. its a bit cheeky TBH.

I get this OP.

You wanted your parents to have a treat I.e. A free holiday and they have ended up paying for your sister and she is the one that had a free holiday not your parents as intended.

Why not ask your sister about going on a family holiday this year and if she wants to split the cost with you to treat them?

Or just all share the cost together?

Mrslt presumably because he was offered the holidy by her parents- the same way op offered it to her parents in the first place. If you are going by the 'why couldnt she pay for it herself' logic then why couldnt the parents pay for themselves? Oh yes, because it was a gift offered to them by someone else. Or should OP have just said i am ofderinv you the gift of suggesting we all go on holiday but we each pay for it ourselves, my suggestion is the gift?

If someone bought me a gift i dont give them the money back for it! Its a gift!

I'm not saying that I'm saying if they all want to go on holiday again why don't the two sisters treat them, so they actually are, getting a free holiday!

OP never offered to pay for the sister yet the end result was that she was the only one that had a free holiday.

It's annoying for her. I can see that.

Op if I were you I would be annoyed; but it is in the past nowso I think you will have to let it go. Try and decide now what you want to do/say if the question of a holiday in 2014 comes up again. Then you can calmly stae you case.

Sorry harold my post was in response to mrsLT. Yes i think your suggestion is a good idea of both sisters offering to pay half each.