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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not want a dog twice my size to lunge at me?

44 replies

matildamatilda · 28/12/2013 20:46

I was at vet's getting medicine for cats. Very enclosed, cramped reception space. Around a tight corner came a St. Bernard dog literally twice my size, with its owner behind using a stretchy lead. The dog lunged at me--clearly out of curiosity/friendliness, not growling.

I backed away as far as I could and managed to avoid him. I'm afraid I shouted, "Okay, seriously?" and the owners (a couple) assured me that the dog was friendly. The vet tech joined in, "Oh, don't worry, he's a big friendly boy."

I felt bad for shouting so I said something like, "Oh, he just startled me," and I asked about the dog, found out he was poorly due to Christmas chocolates, chatted a bit with the owners, left.

I love animals but dogs make me nervous--especially in that first contact. I was bitten badly by one when I was very little and I think it's stayed with me for life.

AIBU to think that the couple should have kept him under control, and that they should have apologised for letting him lunge at me? If I hadn't turned my head in time he might have knocked me over.

I am seriously asking--am I supposed to just find that sort of thing amusing or something?

OP posts:

Whoknowswhocares · 28/12/2013 22:19

I have a dog. She is friendly.

She is not however, allowed to be 'just friendly'
Yanbu

coffeeinbed · 28/12/2013 22:20

Look, it was at the vet's.
hardly the best of environments. it was tight and cramped and the dog wasn't feeling well.
I think any cat, dog, hamster or indeed owner the deserves some goodwill there.
Unless you're feeling particularly uncharitable or precious.

KateSpade · 28/12/2013 22:24

I would have done the same

YANBU

Original poster

matildamatilda · 28/12/2013 22:26

Yes, that's a good idea--one of the couple could have walked in front of the dog, rather than letting it drag them both into the room on a stretchy lead. Not sure how the red flag would help though, lol.

OP posts:

revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 22:27

Well the dog was friendly and didn't hurt you, but the owners should have had it on a normal lead and should have apologised for startling you. But I think in a small vet waiting room they should not be too severely criticized. Some dogs are very friendly and good natured, so this is why they did not check before allowing it to go into the waiting room. Of course they should have done but I think it is not as bad as if this had happened in a place where you would not expect to see a dog, or only one that was well behaved (such as a pub).

noddingoff · 28/12/2013 22:27

HavantGuard-
The St Bernard owner is supposed to keep it on a proper sturdy rope lead, not one of those ridiculous flexileads; stick their head around the corner if they can to see who's in reception, and hold him up short till he's out of the door. Failing that - and I accept that everybody makes mistakes- they should have hoiked the dog back, apologised, and resolved to take the dog off to KC good citizen training classes where he would learn not to lunge at people.
Oh, did I mention that I hate flexileads? I would like to ban them from the vet practice where I work.

ArgumentsatChristmas · 28/12/2013 22:30

I am a bit worried about the dog with this whole Christmas chocolate scenario tbh. Chocolate is poisonous for dogs - why did he have chocolates.

And also (but less worrying imo) dogs should be kept on a tight leash at the vets. I keep my elderly but friendly and curious pooch on a tight leash at the vets for precisely the reasons that the OP has stated. The child with a hamster in the corner might be nervous of dogs. It's different if they have brought a dog in - then you know they are dog people.

Original poster

matildamatilda · 28/12/2013 22:32

I wasn't traumatised or anything, actually ended up having a nice chat with the couple. It just occurred to me later that it's strange not to get an apology or even acknowledgement. They were probably distracted and not thinking.

OP posts:

PigsInTinselToppedWellies · 28/12/2013 22:36

Nevermind it was the Christmas Chocolates - not quite sure how that's relevant to the whole sob story here

When my dog got into the Christmas chocolates he was bouncing off the walls as a result. Chocolate sends them completely hyper and makes it much harder to control them so it may well be relevant to why they didn't have him fully under control.

isitsnowingyet · 28/12/2013 22:38

noddingoff - are you a vet? Are you allowed to ban dogs for lunging in a friendly manner?

Our dog leans on the postman - does that count as a lunge or is he demonic in another way? Everyone seems to not only like him, but claim to love him

{it is possible for big dogs to be gentle and friendly/lovable pets}

PigsInTinselToppedWellies · 28/12/2013 22:38

Meant to say, the vet told me that the reason chocolate is so dangerous for dogs is that they get so hyper that their hearts can't keep up and just give up.

coffeeinbed · 28/12/2013 22:42

Well, once again.
The dog was the patient, chocolate induced symptoms or not.

sykadelic15 · 28/12/2013 22:57

He's a big dog and you said it was a small tight space. It's likely he didn't actually lunge so much as just come around the corner and it startled you.

I think their reactions were perfectly reasonable. You were startled by their dog (not attacked) and they told you that he was a sweetie so you would feel less threatened. They had nothing to apologise for. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me and you DID say you aren't traumatised or anything.

As to some of the other posts. Yes, there are some pet owners out there who aren't conscious of how their pets appear to other people and find funny what some find scary. The idea is to TELL them that and not allow them to minimise how you feel. Tell them you want their pet taken outside/locked up/put in another room and if they can't do it or try and minimise how you feel, leave the situation.

Danann · 28/12/2013 22:59

YANBU. I have a large, over friendly dog and he is kept on a very tight lead in small spaces/when we are close to people, he's soppy as hell and doesn't jump up, sits down if a child approaches him etc but he is daft and tries to squeeze through gaps and sit on peoples feet waiting for them to fuss him so I keep him back.

IMO all dogs should be under control in public, friendly or not because you don't know in those first few seconds if the dog approaching you is friendly and even to a doggy person it can be scary.

Also surely in a small vets, as friendly as I'm sure their dog was, there would be a risk of him accidentally knocking someone else's smaller pet out their hands if he lunged into the person holding it!

revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 23:02

my dog is very friendly and comes over to people to be made a fuss of. She has learned the word hello and if someone says this to her in a happy tone of voice she will go up to them in a very friendly way and fawn on them. But I do keep her under control in public and on a short lead if she goes into a building.

higgle · 28/12/2013 23:07

Nothing would delight me more than a display of spontaneous affection from a St Bernard, I regard friendly lunging, or jumping up as a compliment from a friendly dog, YABU.

CosyTeaBags · 29/12/2013 10:17

They were irresponsible in that they weren't to know what was in the waiting room - there could have been an injured dog which would have felt very threatened by a large dog lumbering in. Or there could have been an aggressive dog which might have attacked their St Bernard. Or there could have been a cat, which could have freaked out.

I, too, would have been happy to cuddle a St Bernard, but OP wasnt, so she's entitled to her feelings.

Danann your dog sounds lovely btw

Frusso · 29/12/2013 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayAwayFromDeliriumDive · 29/12/2013 11:22

We used to have a St Bernard - she was friendly and a bit dim, but the Vets used to send her into over drive and it took all mine and my 6 foot 4 inch fireman DH to hold her back - it would have been daft to have her on an extendible lead.

She was very ill with heart failure for a number of year and we had to go to the vetinary hospital at the university every month - they used to bring students into the waiting area to try and guess what was wrong with her - they were greeted with a huge dog bounding round like a puppy- never did one of them guess cardiomyopathy.

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