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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask do you have a really simple, non-materialistic christmas?

27 replies

revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 16:25

This is a bit of a TAAT but the question about a little girl who got no present, got me thinking. I don't know anyone IRL who has a really non materialistic (if that is a good way to describe it) Christmas, with no, or very few presents and so on. Does anyone here do it. What do you do, and what is it like? Why do you do it? How do the dc like it, and do you think they will understand when they get old enough to know a lot of kids get loads of STUFF.
I am interested to know what it is like to do Xmas this way.

OP posts:
CynicalandSmug · 28/12/2013 16:29

No presents here but we are all non religious adults and not particularly taken in by the retailmas con. Food costs are low, with tasty but healthy food, bit of a splurge on good plonk, no decorations. It suits us, I would hate beyond all hate a big family Christmas with all the pomp and ceremony, and rows!

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 28/12/2013 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theodorous · 28/12/2013 16:33

Sounds great fun

Theodorous · 28/12/2013 16:34

Good plonk but the kids get nothing? No celebration?

CynicalandSmug · 28/12/2013 16:39

Good plonk? Yes. I did say we are non religious adults. There are no children. There won't ever be children! But I am not comfortable with the idea of children being raised to expect gifts, or to celebrate religious events. Meh, each to their own!

Snowdown · 28/12/2013 16:39

In my dreams!

Original poster
revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 16:48

Pe

OP posts:
ChatNicknameUnavailable · 28/12/2013 16:51

We have a 'big' family Christmas - but no pomp, ceremony or rows.

I don't buy tat for the sake of it (well, maybe a couple of plastic stocking fillers from the pound shop but not masses of it). However, I wouldn't say it was un-materialistic as we do get lots of gifts.

The dc were grateful for everything they received. Letting them have presents at Christmas doesn't mean they'll automatically be spoilt brats.

Mrswellyboot · 28/12/2013 16:53

My dh and his family don't swap gifts or have the trimmings really.

Original poster
revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 16:53

Personally I like the normal celebrations but I got the feeling there are a lot of people who would like the simpler style Xmas. Maybe they feel consumerism has run mad? I certainly think you should try not to get into debt.

OP posts:
HearMyRoar · 28/12/2013 17:00

We aren't really that into Christmas to be honest. Dd is nearly 2 so still too young to really understand. She got 1 present and a stocking with some craft bits in from me and dp. She got a few other bits from various relatives but not much compared to most friends I know. Me and dp give each other a stocking with some chocs and a few small things in but that's it really.

We didn't have a tree. On Xmas morning we went and sat in the park eating biscuits with a flask of coffee then went to my parents for lunch. They don't but anyone except the grandkids presents and have a very low key Christmas as well.

I love it that way. I just don't want a big fuss and have no desire for loads of stuff I have to find somewhere to keep. I hope that as dd gets older we will be able to resist the pressure to have piles of presents.

CynicalandSmug · 28/12/2013 17:02

Consumerism has run mad, and no one should get into debt over Christmas. But in my case, I just don't get Christmas, I truly don't understand it. Nice to have a mid winter party, in my case this is NYE, and other frequent nights out. But Christmas? Nope, don't get it. Sounds bloody stressful to me, judging by this forum and some of my friends.

raisah · 28/12/2013 17:48

We don't celebrate Christmas but Eid instead and I am always shocked by the consumerism and expense that is associated with Christmas. I just get my kids a set of clothes, a book and one toy under £20 which I think is more than sufficient. I am shocked about the amount of money people spend on their kids particularly the thread below:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1948889-To-think-this-woman-is-mad-getting-into-all-this-debt-at-Christmas

FlipFlippingFlippers · 28/12/2013 18:22

I dream of a simple Christmas! We ended up going over the top again. All 3 dc's are of an age where they still believe in Santa and I'm just not sure how to do less presents without them feeling like they've been hard done to by the bearded guy. Ideally I'd love it to be one main present each, a stocking and some books each (which is still v generous imo) but people (dm in particular) always end up making me feel guilty for not getting them more and I always cave. Anyone got ideas on how I'd prepare them for next year?

Adeleh · 28/12/2013 18:25

One of my friends has 5 kids and they have what's called library Christmas. Just before Christmas they're assigned a family member and have to choose 3 books for that person and wrap them up. They have small stocking fillers. They seem happy with that. I'd hate it, because if I like a book I want to keep it, but works for them.

notanotherusername1 · 28/12/2013 18:29

It seems like we do compared to others.

We don't buy adults gifts but give a fair bit to local charities, buy a few gifts for children and take them to Salvation Army (although we are not religious ) and always donate to a local animal shelter.

Older dc who don't believe but get a small stocking with a few nice chocs in and a tangerine. Very small amount of gifts for each dc. Very happy with what they had.

Just in laws for a lovely lunch with the usual delights.

Rest of the time we meet up with other family but we are a tiny family so never big gatherings and no fallouts over presents.

Nothing on earth would make us get into debt for one day in the year. Without sounding nauseating we are happy with the way we 'do' Christmas and would not change a thing. Can't imagine for one second going on FB and being jealous of a pile of presents.

Rhubarbgarden · 28/12/2013 18:30

The in-laws do Christmas in a very modest way. One small present per grandchild (book or small toy) and a simple family meal in the evening (never turkey). No decorations except for a very small token tree. No cards, crackers or other paraphernalia.

Joysmum · 28/12/2013 19:11

We used to when we first started out through necessity, but now we are more financially secure and splash out.

joanofarchitrave · 28/12/2013 19:20

Depends how it is done. My family had an increasingly low key Christmas as I grew up and I hated it - it felt like a symptom of the poor relationships between us, that we couldn't face celebrating together. It felt like I was constantly fighting to keep any sign of Christmas going, and that the default Christmas expression was sour disapproval.

Our Christmases aren't IMO particularly over the top now but we do excitement, we do music, we do decorations, stupid jokes, yes, presents, and as much noise and fun as my family will tolerate (not much!). I've known a lot of families who manage a Christmas that is well within their means but still involves a lot of celebrating and some material fun.

AnnieLobeseder · 28/12/2013 19:23

YABVU to ask in YABU. This is why we have Chat.

CombineBananaFister · 28/12/2013 19:47

I used to work in hospitality and DH still does (chef,therefore works xmas) so by default we tend to have a low key, less materialistic xmas and Ds has grown up in this environment.

We tend to do nice 'events' or treats throughout December with Ds and ourselves instead of loads of presents - meals/days out/activities.
Ds is asked which toys he has grown out of to give to the charity shop then he gets some more in return. (we live in a tiny apartment so space an issue and he is not forced to do this)

We don't do a big expensive food shop because Dh is sick of seeing that type of food but we buy in our favourite foods from our travels/hols. We exchange gifts on xmas eve and then we go away in January somewhere for the weekend all three of us as a treat.

I don't feel resentful or think 'what fools' and love to see the way others do it, buying mounds of gifts and ordering the turkeys etc but I love our traditions and the way we do it. Don't think Ds is missing out.

KittensoftPuppydog · 28/12/2013 19:52

Bought lots of stuff for me dh and doggie. It was great.
I'm not going to live forever.

Original poster
revivingsnowshower · 28/12/2013 20:16

As it has been renamed for the season I feel justified in asking in here and really no-one should be asking anything that is not to do with Christmas.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 28/12/2013 20:24

No tree, no decorations, and no cards for anyone apart from OH's Dad and sister. No big roast, just a normal meal [for years we had chilli and this year just a normal veggie roast]. Presents are modest, probably the same value as the sorts of things we would buy ourselves anyway, eg I got a book, a shredder [for my composting], and some chocs. OH's DD gets a present which is usually modest but this year he put money towards a macbook for her as she is now at college. Nieces get a few things, again no more than they would get if we were visiting for a birthday or just for a day as I always get them some stuff.

No eggnog, no fridge loaded with crap, no complete waste of money in all honesty.

AnnieLobeseder · 28/12/2013 20:55

Fair point well made, revising! Xmas Grin

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