to think Sod restraint - we're having a MASSIVE Christmas next year!

[LadyAlysVorpatril]

I am a huge fan of Christmas, but try not to get sucked into the consumerism side of it. We've been verging on skint for a few years so our Christmases have got more and more restrained - this year was the apex of this.

We agreed not to exchange gifts with almost everyone, and cut down HUGELY on those we did. DS's gifts came to under £30 and were mostly secondhand, we agreed a £10 limit on gifts to each other. We were very restrained with buying food, didn't buy any new decorations, didn't have any meals out/theatre etc, almost no booze in, didn't do crackers or candles or fresh flowers or readymade party food or posh chocolates, didn't even get the Christmas edition of the Radio Times (we've given up our telly anyway....), planned to do chicken with 3 veg and 1 stuffing rather than the traditional for us turkey with 10 veg and 3 kinds of stuffing blow-out...

Before I go on, I realise this is the norm for lots of people and I'm not suggesting that we are massively deprived or anything. It's just that we cut back more than we needed to, because it seemed very sensible.

Anyway, I will admit I was feeling slightly smug in a 'Ha ha we haven't been sucked in by adverts, for us Christmas is going to be all about TOGETHERNESS and SPIRITUAL VALUES we are so VIRTUOUS' kind of way...

And then we all got the Noro virus at the beginning of the week, could barely eat a thing on Christmas day and just sort of lay around pathetically, with one of DS's nappies tucked into our pants just in case, thanking God for the existence of antibacterial wipes and Dioralyte. It would have been miserable even if we'd gone mad with presents and food, but it's made me feel that we didn't have Christmas at all this year.

WIBU to plan so that next year we're going to have a bit more of a blow-out? If we save up so that we can actually buy each other a few nice presents and actually have a Christmas lunch that is a bit more special than a normal Sunday roast.

I realise I actually LIKE some of the manic rush I've been feeling so smug about avoiding.

Or is this stupid and we should keep cutting back?

Do it, Do it!!

If you can afford it and it will make your family happy why not have the Christmas you want!

I love Christmas and I find it helps to accept it for what it is and just go with it. Shops will be busy, you will eat too much and you may have family grumps but I love it still. I don't set a price limit or spend a lot, I just try and get presents that will be appreciated.

There is probably a middle way between both options! E.g. You could buy some gifts in the sales for your child and out away, I.e. more bang for your buck at this time of year. Ask parents who have a child a year older than yours what they enjoyed this Xmas. Lots of smaller presents under the tree look far more exciting too than one big one, even if the cost is equivalent.

If you out money aside each month too, somewhere you can't get at it then you don't have to get into debt at Xmas.

Do what you as a family want to do. The only unreasonable thing would be to get into debt but as you're planning on saving for it I don't see why not.

Yanbu! If you're not planning on getting in to massive debt then I don't think it's anyone's business what kind of Christmas you have, it's a personal choice and especially understandable to be feeling like this after a crap one.

My nan (who I was very close to) died suddenly right before Christmas 6 years ago. I felt like I was on autopilot through the whole thing that year. I had a massive Christmas the next year, invited all dh's family for dinner and had a great time despite dd3 being 3 months old and not getting a minutes peace. Was the perfect antidote to the worst year of my life (my mum also left my dad for another man one week after nans funeral!!)

Why don't you open a separate savings account and put away £10 a week? Then you can have a blowout without feeling to guilty...

Was thinking we went a bit too far the other way this year as well - I've just bought loads of half price decorations in the sale for next year :-)

Yay!

That's what I wanted to hear. Thank you everybody!