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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DCs out with DH so I can rest

26 replies

wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:13

I've been awake all night violently vomiting & feel weak, exhausted & emotional. DH dealt with DCs this morning as I was still vomiting when they woke up, then tells me he's taking DS1 out so I can rest. I ask about DS2 (who is a baby) & he reels off all these reasons he can't take both DCs.
Can I just add, I am never ill to this extent & always get on with life/DCs regardless of
illness - but today I honestly can't.
I snap at him (regrettably in
front of my DCs), he then
relents & takes both DCs. AIBU to expect him to take both DCs? I take them everywhere with me & it's not as though I'm asking so I can do something fun - I'm really not well - so why do I feel like I should of kept one or both here with me? Confused

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 28/12/2013 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

boodles · 28/12/2013 12:17

Why can he only have one when, I expect, you have two every day. He is BU not you. It isn't a bloody break to rest if he leaves you with one.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 28/12/2013 12:18

YANBU surely he can manage more than one dc if only for a couple of hours.

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:18

When he's been ill recently I've taken our DCs out for the day to relatives so he could rest - I guess this is why I thought he would do the same today without any fuss.

OP posts:
Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:19

I did say to him 'how do you think I manage to do shopping etc, I always have both DCs' - to which he started huffing & got the baby's clothes.

OP posts:
secretsofsanta · 28/12/2013 12:20

My dh has taken all four of mine out and dds friend. I should have been working until 12 but have a water infection/ bug thingy.

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:21

Oo no secrets hope you feel better soon.
What a star your DH is!

OP posts:
diddlediddledumpling · 28/12/2013 12:23

My DH has just taken all 3 out (youngest is 2) so I can rest. And I'm not sick. I just made Christmas happen for everybody.

Tell him to man up.

FutTheShuckUp · 28/12/2013 12:25

Seriously? You should never feel guilty for having a rest and your childrens dad taking over- even if you weren't ill!!

ChineseFireball · 28/12/2013 12:26

YANBU. If that's what you'd do for him, that's what he should do for you. Hope you feel better soon. Thanks

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:28

Thank you chinese.
I think he is panicked by taking both as we always take the DCs out together or we'll take one each to spend quality time with.
I now feel I've pushed him in to doing it - but I feel it's something he should feel confident about doing - especially since I go back to work part-time in a few weeks.

OP posts:
diddlediddledumpling · 28/12/2013 12:29

I can understand if he hasn't d

diddlediddledumpling · 28/12/2013 12:31

done it much in the past. But no time like the present Grin

I'm sure he'll come back feeling proud of himself got managing and hopefully he'll be happy to do more of the same in the future. Everyone's a winner.

(Hope you feel better soon.)

NoComet · 28/12/2013 12:31

YANBU, unless the baby is still BFing every five minutes he can take both of them.

I always used to disappear to the sales for a whole day between Christmas and New Year, that was my exchange for accepting that DH finds DCs plus visitors really stressful and I tend to do all child minding when we have family.

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:34

It's a 'cruel to be kind' situation isn't it diddle...I need him to do it as I'm ill & he needs to do it to build his confidence. I agree, he'll come back either feeling accomplished, or ready to tear his hair out! Wink Overall, my DCs are well behaved & he is a great dad.
Thank you - I hope I feel better too!

OP posts:
Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 12:36

star...no DS2 is FF & weaning so very easy. He was all fed etc before they left so that gives 4+ hours until next feed due.

OP posts:
Blu · 28/12/2013 12:39

You were so obviously not BU, he probably realised guiltily that he was, and was feeling idiotic for being too inexperienced at taking both

Stop fretting over it and get on with enjoying your rest.

weirdthing · 28/12/2013 12:43

I tell my DH to do it regularly and I'm not even ill! In fact he's out with them now (and my two are a right handful!). No way should you feel guilty. Hope you feel better soon. Get to bed!

secretsofsanta · 28/12/2013 12:45

Thanks wifey. You too.

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 13:37

Just had a very long message from DH, detailing what him & DCs are doing. Library, long walk, supermarket & then picked up some sweets as a treat! He sounds so enthusiastic & it's so wonderful to hear! Smile

OP posts:
DuchessFanny · 28/12/2013 13:50

That must be a bit of a relief then, to hear he's getting on with it and enjoying it !
So now you rest up and get well !

Original poster
wifey6 · 28/12/2013 13:58

They've all arrived back now & DH seems so chilled Smile & DS1 is eager to share all the things they've seen & done.
I've managed 2 hours rest so it's a 'win-win' situation

OP posts:
diddlediddledumpling · 28/12/2013 16:26
Xmas Grin
DuchessFanny · 28/12/2013 16:56

Glad to hear it !

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2013 17:53

I was going to say you should have said, "Welcome to my world" if he objected.

Glad he had a good day. Tell him now this was a practice run!

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