To be fed up with all the unsolicited advice?

[superlambanana]

This is from both my own and my DH's families. If it's not my mum and SIL telling me not to wear a hat as it'll blow off (I want to wear a hat as it's cold!!) it's my DB saying I don't need to look up where a car park is on the map because we'll find it (it's the next town and I want to know where the sodding car parks are!). Or my MIL saying I don't need to worry about eating pate or rare steak (my body, my pregnancy, my decision), or my other SIL trying to tell me about the best way to negotiate on a house (she doesn't work and has never bought one, we're on our second), or BIL advising me on the best way to deal with builders (again, has never done it himself).

I often feel like DH is the only person who takes me seriously and actually trusts me to make my own decisions, whereas everyone else seems to think I'm incapable. I have no idea why - am I giving off some sort of I capability vibe? I have a good job, a nice home that I (shock horror) keep in order and I regularly manage to get myself through life without accidentally electrocuting myself or some such misfortune. They don't do it to anyone else!!! How do I get them to stop?

Incapability not I capability. Bloody autocorrect.

Tell them to stop. Not so nicely, if necessary:

"Oh just shut up."

Works well, if a bit rude.

"Yes, I want to see where the car parks are as I've never been in this town."

Is a bit more polite.

"Have you ever bought a house? Then what do you actually know about this?!"

Is somewhere in between.

Mix and match as necessary.

How about asking them to justify their crappy advice, or pointing out that you have actually thought things through?

"Oh, how do you think I ought to keep my head warm then? I get so cold without a hat on."

"Gosh do you really just drive around randomly looking for places? Haven't you tried Google Maps? It's amazing, saves so much time and effort"

"Have the NHS chaged the pregnancy advice then? Pate and rare meat can be full of bugs that can cause miscarriage. I'd much rather avoid them than know I'm taking needless risks"

And when you know they know nothing, you can always try "Oh, is that what you did then?"

Or just be rude! Rolling your eyes and saying "Yes, Granny. Shall I teach you how to suck eggs next?" might take the sting out...

Smile sweetly, then do what you want.

There is no way you can 'get them to stop' - the only thing you can work on is you stopping to care what nonsense they are spouting.

Maybe you do give out an "incapable vibe" I know it seems weird when you are capable but there might be something in your thought. Are you different in your manner to your dh family. Maybe they take something you do meaning to be polite as a lack of confidence? Are they quite loud opinionated people while you are quieter? If you look at how they act you may be able to work out how to come across as more capable in their eyes.

Either snort, tinkly laugh or say 'whatever', to their crap advice. They'll soon get the idea.

Sometimes advice is good, other times it's just people thinking they have a right to comment on every aspect of your life. Sometimes I raise an internal eyebrow at people's decisions, however I'm well aware it's none of my business, and to comment would be rude.

If they don't filter their rudeness, why should you? I'd escalate to a rip-roaring laugh if they don't get the point

You need some stock answers for when you actually have the baby, I can imagine they'll be telling you they know best!

You have to teach yourself to care less and not give it another thought.

My mum stayed with me recently (am abroad) I innocently took her to my office where she lectured my Qatari boss about my not always wearing my hard hat on site (my husband told her). She thought it was hilarious and said my mum was a real British character. I was highly embarrassed.