Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset mil has a new dog?

28 replies

QuintessentialShadows · 27/12/2013 23:56

The last dog she had was overindulged, overweight, and died suffering diabetes and blindness.

I had the pleasure of reading through the dogs medical notes, 7 years of the doctor giving advice on nutrition and exercise. The dog was fed every treat in the book, spending his life on the sofa, and never walked longer than the bottom of the street. (I had to help her with an insurance claim for the dogs medical bills)

Now all I can think is that Merry Christmas, another Yorkshire terrier to spend a life fed treats and spend his life on a lap.

I hope to be proven wrong!

OP posts:
MatryoshkaDoll · 28/12/2013 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Objection · 28/12/2013 00:32

Oh this is so so sad. is there nothing you can do? was she aware of her neglect?

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 28/12/2013 00:37

YANBU - my MIL is the same with her dog - she has a yorkie rescue that she is killing with kindness :( The poor dog is so fat she can hardly move but she insists that she doesn't eat alot "look at her bowl its full up, i sometimes have to change it for fresh" yeah and look at that bowl of bonios next to its full bowl of food oh an look how she ponces for food when we were eating Hmm My mum has a cat and she is doing exactly the same thing - "he doesn't eat alot" yeah, right!!

I have two dogs, one is a little on the fat side and the other is a real skinny minnie - i know that they have different metabolisms but these animals are morbidly obese and it is horrible.

Nombrechanger · 28/12/2013 00:39

I was about to say "what the hell has it got to do with you?!".

Until I read your post.

YADNBU.

Caitlin17 · 28/12/2013 00:50

Do you live near enough and have children who could take it for walks?

When it goes to the vet for its initial check up could you go with her and lead the conversation round to diet/ weight?

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 28/12/2013 00:56

YANBU.

I can't stand people who overfeed their dogs, especially when they're already overweight. and then tell me my fit, healthy dog is emaciated.

It's a form of neglect.

CalamityKate · 28/12/2013 01:38

My mum was a feeder. If she loved something - human or animal - she fed it. Her last dog was almost perfectly spherical.

"But she's always so hungry!" - no she isn't. Dogs are opportunistic scavengers and as such WILL eat and eat because nature tells them they don't know where their next meal will come from.

"But dogs always get fat when they've been spayed!" - no. They just need less food.

Luckily for the dog but also sort of irritatingly, it lived to a grand old age.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 28/12/2013 10:02

Sadly we dont live nearby to take the dog for a walk. Neither will she take any diet advice from me. She is known for stuffing my children with chocolate and sweets in equal measure. Her philosophy is very much in the vein of "to love is to feed".

OP posts:
Theodorous · 28/12/2013 10:17

Yes, I think you are being massively U. In the UK, it seems to me that most "irresponsible" owners buy a backyard fighting breed or shitapoopoo designer breed, keep it until it is unsocialised and as dangerous as it's brainless owners and then sell to another twat on Gumtree. Your inlaws presumably are offering a kind and forever home, one where pain and fear will not be a daily experience unlike many of the poor Staffies/Mastifs/shitapoodlepoo dogs that truly irresponsible dog owners inflict on theirs.

Mind your own business and if you give such a shit, volunteer at a local shelter with dogs that really have been been abused. I am on my +50th foster and have heard every excuse for dumping in the book, allergies, too small garden, wrong colour etc. A kindly elderly family with too much food is not the same and if you feel so strongly at least say it to their faces.

Did you read the bit you wrote that they gave a shit when it died?
Sorry to sound harsh but you really have no idea.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 28/12/2013 11:32

I wish I had the guts to say it to their face, as the last dog spent the last three years of its life blind and in pain, and the doctors notes explained that this could happen, and if mil did not listen to the doctor there is no way she will listen to me.

You must clearly have seen a lot of shit, so are biased thinking there are no good dog owners, when you dont think there is a middle ground between kicking and abusing, and sitting on your bum feeding a dog treats.

The most shit I have seen, regards to dog care, was the volunteer for the X (insert known animal charity) who lived next door and took in dogs for them when they were full. These dogs got a regular kick in the face, and were shouted at a lot. Not to mention her poor rabbit, that we discovered in its filthy pen by our fence when our fencers made repairs. Oh the irony when they reported her to X animal charity for animal cruelty. Hmm
I do know animal cruelty is rife in the UK.

But I take heart in the fact that I do also see a lot of care for dogs. Responsible owners walking their dogs, and well behaved dogs laying by their owners feet in places like Costa and Cafe Nero while their owners enjoy a cuppa after a run. It is not all shit. I'd rather a dog went to a loving home that would look after all the dogs needs, rather than just be there to fulfill its owners needs. Being fat and unhealthy is unpleasant whether you are an animal or a human. I have only experience of being an overweight human though. Wink

And no, my care for animals don't go beyond categorically stating I would not get one. I couldn't give it the care or stability it needs, not while my kids are young, demanding and time consuming.

I would consider getting a husky or an english setter if we move back to Norway, excellent companions for long mountain trips.

OP posts:
Theodorous · 28/12/2013 11:42

I love to think of a Husky in Norway. They were Qatars no 1 accessory this year, I spent many a day in 50c temperatures on building sites trying to catch the dumped teenagers. Have managed to rehome a few in the US and Canada. Plenty more here when you are ready!

I am sorry for sounding off, wasn't really the op that bugged me, more the inevitable outpouring of self righteous dramas that will likely follow.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/12/2013 11:57

YANBU to be upset, given that she hasn't learned from what happened to the last dog. Sad It's such a shame, when if she'd take advice and just feed appropriately - which can of course include some treats - she'd be providing a good home for a little dog.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 28/12/2013 12:01

I cant imagine huskies in Quatar! What a ridiculous thought. Poor dogs and all that fur. Sad

OP posts:
SillyTilly123 · 28/12/2013 13:06

Its so sad. I warned my nan she needed to stop feeding her dog unsuitable stuff, for eg a lollypop, whole packet of crisps, chocolate etc it was sad to watch. Then she was surprised (and upset) when he had to be pts in November for kidney failure due to "wear and tear" and she still doesn't get why he died, she keeps saying "but he was only 6?" yeah but his poor kidneys couldn't handle all the crap.

Even now she will try to feed my dog stuff she shouldn't have but I have to be firm with her. I'm just glad she is not getting another dog.

ShinyBauble · 28/12/2013 13:06

My Mum fed our dog a square of Dairy Milk every evening for the dogs whole life with us. When I discovered chocolate was poison for dogs I tried to make her stop but she wouldn't Sad

ErrolTheDragon · 28/12/2013 13:13

While chocolate isn't a good idea, one square of milk chocolate is probably within what a dog can metabolise (depending on it's size). But totally unnecessary - if you want to give a dog 'treats' just get the ones intended for dogs and follow the feeding guide. A lot of dogs prefer the meatier ones anyway - maybe you could give your daft relatives some of those as an alternative to real chocolate etc (since going cold turkey, other than literally and to excess, is unlikely to happen)

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/12/2013 13:29

Cat and dog obesity has been deemed the biggest single animal welfare issue in the UK by the combined committee of companion animal and farm animal welfare groups.
The big problem is people just don't believe this is a silent killer.

Theodorous · 28/12/2013 13:32

I make treats, google recipes and buy bone shaped cutters. I use very low quantity of garlic, so far the only think that dealt with the bastard ticks

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2013 13:34

Oh how sad. I can understand why it's difficult to say all you want to say to your MIL directly. Maybe show her this thread? She definitely shouldn't be given free reign to abuse (and it is) another dog or any other animal.

It's absolute cruelty to overfeed a dog/cat, it's never cute and never, ever forgivable. Some foods for human consumption are absolutely poisonous for animals and animal lovers know this and don't do it.

MrsWolowitzYouAMerryChristmas · 28/12/2013 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiceBurner · 28/12/2013 14:37

YANBU.

I have told people in the past that chocolate is posionous for dogs but they just laugh and say "no it's not". (I would like to say more but realise that it's pointless.) Sadly the pet's health (in these situations) is generally as bad as the owners' .... ie all overweight and not in good shape for their biological age. Argh!

Dogs can't hold back when given inappropriate sugary crap, (which is meant as a token of the owner's love I know), so this is abuse in my mind.

So sad. (Glad I am not a vet as I would be so angry most of the time.)

Theodorous · 28/12/2013 15:22

My darling old boy died from a curry with loads of onions in that he had stolen. Our fault completely. Our vet offers baseline bloods at every vaccination, 3 weeks before he died his liver function was normal. When he was sick it was massively and unsustainably low. No doubt at all what killed him.

Theodorous · 28/12/2013 15:24

I still don't think that over feeding whilst bad is the same as buying a backyard designer fighting breed and wielding it until it pisses everywhere and then you tubing yourself kicking its head in

ErrolTheDragon · 28/12/2013 17:30

Of course its not the same - but it's very sad because it's people who mean well and love their pets just are getting it horribly wrong when with reasonably small adjustments they could get it right.

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/12/2013 18:43

On an individual dog basis no it is not as bad. However, with over 50% of the nations pets obese on a population basis obesity is a far, far bigger problem.
I occasionally see terribly treated dogs I see obese dogs every single day.