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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset that DSDs didn't buy me a present ?

56 replies

Primadonnagirl · 27/12/2013 22:38

I have known them for 15 years..they rang me on Xmas day to say they loved me..today was our family Xmas day..they bought their father a pressie but not me.Nobody has said anything . Not even DH. They didn't even get us a card.WTF?I just shut myself away and carried on cooking dinner but v upset ..even more upset the DH hasn't said anything..what would you do?

OP posts:

Oakmaiden · 27/12/2013 22:41

They rang you on Christmas Day to say they loved you? Wasn't that the best present?

How old are they?

DwellsUndertheSink · 27/12/2013 22:42

having them phone you to say they love you - what a priceless gift you received! Would you rather have had smellies from Boots? or some scarf that wasnt really you?

corlan · 27/12/2013 22:43

I would forget about the lack of a present and be very proud and happy that they had phoned me to say they loved me.

NatashaBee · 27/12/2013 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lookingforwardtonewyear · 27/12/2013 22:43

I'm just surprised you are surprised mine never even bothered to get their dad anything.

Chippednailvarnish · 27/12/2013 22:44

Mmm, depends how old they are.

phantomnamechanger · 27/12/2013 22:44

what has happened in previous years? does their dad normally buy something for them to give you?

Original poster

Primadonnagirl · 27/12/2013 22:45

25 and 27!

OP posts:

SlinkyB · 27/12/2013 22:46

My 14yo dss didn't get his Dad anything. We don't say anything, but I am disappointed (for dh).

How old are they?

FredFredGeorge · 27/12/2013 22:46

So presumably mid / late teens? - how much money do they have to be buying loads of people gifts - they phoned you to say they loved you! Why is that not more than enough?

I'm pretty surprised you're upset - why do material presents matter so much?

VeryExasperated · 27/12/2013 22:46

They should have got you something, even if a small token. You can get very thoughtful gifts for less than £10 even, if you put our mind to it. And I presume you got them something? I'd be delighted to be told I was loved by them, but can completely understand your being hurt. Try to remember the lovely phone call though.

AlfAlf · 27/12/2013 22:47

How old are they?
My dc didn't get me anything, I don't mind, but they are probably younger (6, 8, and 14).

SlinkyB · 27/12/2013 22:47

X-post. Eek, 25 and 27 eh? I would actually expect a little box of chocolates or something tbh. Oh dear, I'll not be holding my breath with dss then!

AlfAlf · 27/12/2013 22:50

Sorry just saw their ages. YANBU. Try not to let it ruin your day with them though. Maybe mention it to your DH when they've left and he can drop a hint in future?

AlfAlf · 27/12/2013 22:51

What did they get their father btw? Is it something that might be for you to share?

pigletmania · 27/12/2013 22:52

Yanbu surely if they loved you they would get you something as well as their father, you known them for 15 years. I gather they are adults as you known them for 15 years

Original poster

Primadonnagirl · 27/12/2013 22:52

We gave them money and I bought them stocking fillers. They don't have a lot of spare cash I know but I can't get over the fact that they thought it was Ok to leave me out...and DH s reaction is even worse..if that was me I'd be apologising on their behalf.

OP posts:

Tanfastic · 27/12/2013 22:55

What do they normally do?

We always buy for my FIL's lady friend of 15 years, even though they don't live together. I think it's a but odd but I suppose its not if its the norm for them.

TheOnlySevenSleighbells · 27/12/2013 22:55

YANBU. You can buy a nice box of chocs or a bottle of wine for well under a tenner. Do they usually buy you a gift?

VeryExasperated · 27/12/2013 22:56

YANBU They are old enough to be more sensitive and considerate. Your DH may just not have taken it in. I don't think men notice presents really. The girls don't need a lot of spare cash to make some effort. But am feeling very raw myself at DSC's attitudes, so am maybe not the best person to comment!

Xmasbaby11 · 27/12/2013 22:58

They phoned and said they loved you. That is far more important than a present. I wouldn't read anything into the lack of present.

Original poster

Primadonnagirl · 27/12/2013 22:58

I've always got a present before...Dhs present was something personalised so obvs not for both of us...I sound horribly materialistic I know, but I'm just fphurt and suprised..do I say anything to Dh or do I just let it go?!

OP posts:

FishfingersAreOK · 27/12/2013 22:58

TBH I think they should have at least bought you some wine or chocolates to say thank you for cooking let alone anything else!

But as others have said -what did they bring your DH? Do they normally give you something?

Original poster

Primadonnagirl · 27/12/2013 23:01

They got him a personified mug and a diary relevant to his hobby..so something fairly cheap but thoughtful

OP posts:

Caitlin17 · 27/12/2013 23:02

YABU. As guests they should have brought a bottle of wine/flowers/chocolates for the hostess but can't see any reason why you should expect a present.

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