To desperately wanting to be slim?

[PhdCopy]

I know there are bigger problems, believe me-I have them, but I am actually dreaming of loosing weight. I am last 10 yrs overweight and it happened gradually.
I went from 63 kg to 120kg in that space of time. I feel like different person- I feel huge and ugly...
I am emotional eater- I eat when worried , tired or doing paper works ( from work finishing them at home)...
Please help me with advice...
SW and WW are not working for me, I tried them...
I can see myself wearing my old beautiful slim clothes and I could cry. It's my fault and stupidity and now I don't know what to do... Thank you...

I think you've posted in the wrong topic to be honest.

But have you had any kind of therapy to deal with the emotional issues, before trying any diets?

I'm guessing that's probably the way forward.

And if you have had therapy but it didn't work, perhaps you should look into it again.

PhD it's not your fault and you aren't stupid. Emotional eating is a coping mechanism, it is helping you. It's a lot better than turning to drink or drugs! It's a normal, natural instinct to seek comfort from food too, one we have from birth . The solution isn't to be found in SW or WW or any other diet or self-control, it's about everything else in your life. What are your other problems, what else is happening generally, good and bad? What happened ten years ago that may have started the weight gain/emotional eating?

Only you can do it. What is stopping you from making that start? And you are not ugly. Nobody is.

It went on slowly, it can come off slowly. Take your time. Don't tell people (initially anyway) as you will feel a pressure on yourself.

Look into a program. But don't beat yourself up over it. Be kind to yourself.

I agree with therapy of some sort.

Good luck.

You CAN get back to those slim clothes in 2014! I've been wearing clothes I last wore more than a decade ago, and it was thanks to the MN low carb way of eating:

www.mumsnet.com/health/diet-and-fitness/low-carb-bootcamp

Come and get some support on the ongoing thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_diets/1914671-The-Final-Autumn-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-Weigh-in

I can't recommend it enough. I used to be an emotional eater too. I couldn't do my work without constant snacking. Now I can, and I don't even think about it.

Don't let it get you down! Tomorrow is another day; I know it's trite, but it's true. Have struggled withstand long time with overweight and eating problems and have only in the past few years got out of that cycle of thinking negatively and punitively about my body. That panicky out-of-control feeling is just awful. Really sympathise Op.
I have found reading about the Real Food Movement helpful. There's a lot of bollocks in there, but the basic premise is don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't recognise as food. For me that means seasonal (pref local) produce, lots of veg, moderate amounts of fruit, (msc certified) seafood, good quality meat, very limited sugar and non-cold-pressed veg oils. I eat sourdough bread which is easier on my stomach also.
I am a size 12, (5'8") so not tiny, but feel happier with myself than I ever have. Even though Dh and I have scoffed far too much chocolate this Xmas I refuse to let myself feel guilty or remorseful. I am just focusing on building up my health again by preparing good food for the family. I try and go for a walk daily with my toddler, up hills and such- get out of breath- though it's hard when the weather is as crap as it is of late. Again, I don't feel guilty if I don't go, but when I do, I appreciate being outside and moving in the fresh air, looking at changing of the seasons
I apologise for the essay, but just wanted you to know it is possible to get out of that cycle of feeling horrible about yourself and that you can definitely definitely do it!

and just spotted this if you'd like to join in:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_diets/1948845-New-Year-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-starts-on-13-January

I second what Lily said. I have found a lot of support on the MN bootcamp threads and have changed my eating to a much healthier, cleaner and sustainable long term diet. Like Flidais says, I now eat Real Food.

If it helps you to know OP, I was around 130kg when I started and my weight had climbed steadily for 20 years. It is now going down instead :)

Have a look at the threads and join us if you think it'll help you

Have you tried myfitnesspal? It's very user friendly and I don't think it can fail.

My very cynical sister (who is active and a healthy weight) did an experiment week on it, did exactly what it said, declared it no different to her normal routine, weighed herself and had lost the 2 pounds it said she would.

I'm a bit drunk right now but I feel your pain. Will right more when sober xx

i need structure. i lost 4 stone low carbing.

I am telling you this becuase what folows might sound harsh

I was desperate for many years to lose weight, but never put the effort in

I loathed myself and ate a 6 pack of crisp.

truth is you need a structure. pick one and do it for three weeks

three weeks is a long time to stay strong.

but at the end of the day, there is only you that can do it, so you really do have to get off your arse and be absolutley determined

so walking for 10 mins a day doesn't cancel out a poor diet

and we tell ourselves lots of lies, becuase sugar, sugar is in everything and its highly addictive

so for me, low carb eating made more sense becuase of the huge lb weightloss that can be achieved - almost on a daily basis, and if you keep to it, when the initial huge weight loss evens out to 2 lbs a week, you are so inspired you just carry on - and the thing is, to me it makes sense

the theory behind it just stacks up - if you eat a high protein diet, your body eats your reserves of fat

so don't feed your body energy ( carbs/sugar) and it uses your exixsting stores of fat

but the kicker is this - it takes 3 days (ish) for your body to get to the state where it eats its own reserves - we know this as ketosis

so it is absolutely not like counting calories in any way shape or form, you can't cheat 'a little bit' not one chocolate, not one mint, not a bite of toast.....or else you wait 3 days for your body to realise that you aren't feeding it quick release energy and to use the existing stores of fat

this is my blog - i haven't updated it for about 18 months at least

but i was so inspired, and writing the blog, sussing stuff out really helped

so this is my take on it. carbfreecustyfrom a couple of years ago

Thank you all so much for a great support. I am overwhelmed with such a lovely replies.
I need that sort of cyber kick and someone to tell me no , I can't do this anymore.
I will look on all the links you provided me and I really need to find some plan that will suit to me and some rules. I must, I MUST stop snacking late in the night or while I am at work...
I have to stop so many bad habits that I connect with food.
I am natural worrier , everything sets me of, I never had depression but I get very emotional.
It's something I was all my life. I tried to build myself stronger but I guess its part of my character- part of who I am and maybe I have to disconnect food with my feelings.
Thank you so much...

Thank you custardo. I will definitely look up on your blog.
I know it's only me who can do it. I put myself in this situation and it's only me who can pull Myself out of it.
What I really need is a plan and excactly what you all mentioned - structure. Thank you..

Could I suggest you read Gary Taubes' 'Why We Get Fat (and what to do about it'? He's in favour of low carb diets - but the thing about that book is it explains WHY it's so hard to lose weight (using most other methods), and stops the mindset of 'oh, it's all my fault, I'm greedy/have no self control/can't do this/am a weak person'. It changed my whole way of thinking about weight loss (after 40-something years!) and I found it tremendously helpful. Best of luck - you can do it :)

I am another my fitness pal user, combined with a lot of exercise, tread mill in the garage, one hour every day come hell or high water. I do enjoy execose though, always did.

I started on 9th January 2013, and I am 80lbs lighter, size 10, fit as a butchers dog.

I was obsessive/compulsive about the excercise and food logging on the mfp app. Actually, I think I turned my slightly obsessive eating I to slightly obsessive calorie counting/exercising, which, if you are the compulsive type, is a much healther compulsion!

Its only taken me a year to get back to normal and get my life back. Just a year. Its nothing. You can do it.

PhD I would strongly advise against any kind of diet or calorie counting. I would, as other have suggested, cut out carbs, as in white and processed carbs and sugar though, this will help enormously with weight loss and stop blood sugar spikes and crashes that leave you with cravings for more of the same and contain little or no nutritional benefit. Having said that, don't label anything as banned - if you love a bowl of pasta then have one maybe once a week and enjoy it. You need to change your mindset from hating your body and trying to force it to change through punishment and deprivation into caring for and respecting it. Work with it, not against it

Make sure you eat consistent meals at regular times. Always include good protein (eggs, meat, fish, cheese) and good fat. Plenty of veg. Always the best quality you can get, organic if possible. Eat as slowly and mindfully as possible. This will all help regulate your appetite and help you recognise true hunger, also by giving your body sufficient nourishment through the day you will avoid hitting a point later in the day when you feel ravenous and therefore likely to binge on the type of food you are trying to avoid. Keep healthy snacks to hand, nuts, avocados, hard boiled eggs, fruit, raw veg, oatcakes and a bit of cheese, houmous, apple and nut butter, filling and satisfying things that will nourish you and not leave you craving more.

When you feel the need to eat between meals practice pausing and asking yourself what you really need...maybe a five minute call to a friend, a little lie down, walk around the block, a bath, a cup of tea, a dance around the kitchen, ten minutes on mn...rather than food. You may be genuinely hungry, in which case have a snack. You may realise you aren't hungry but find the need to eat overwhelming. So go with it. If you hadn't been emotionally eating then you may well have ended up clinically depressed, so it has served you! What you need to do is find better ways of dealing with emotions and stress, but this will take time so be patient with yourself and curious about the process, you aren't going to undo a habit formed over years in a matter of weeks.

Finally, exercise - choose a form of movement you enjoy - anything (but it must be something!) - walking, yoga, Zumba, dance, swimming, running, weightlifting, whatever...but do it as often as you possibly can. This will put you back in touch with your body as well as getting you fitter and healthier.

Come and join us on the 52lbs in 52wks thread

We have all signed up.to My Fitness Plan and some are doing SW, WW or the 5:2, others are cutting out certain foods, but we are all sharing our experiences and egging each other on.

As a fellow emotional eater who uses food to self medicate, I can tell you that, for me at least, diets weren't the answer.

I know what a healthy diet is, I know how to portion control.

What always was the real issue was that no matter how much I dieted, it was never enough to make up for the times when I binge ate.

So for me, the only answer was to learn to predict when I would turn to food for self medication and try to interrupt that cycle and find other ways to cope.

There's nothing worse than successfully cutting 1000jcals a day off your maintenance calorie requirements only to fall off the wagon twice a week and binge at 5000kcals a go and STILL be gaining weight.

Keep a mood related to food diary and try to see if there is a pattern to your tough times. From there you can then work out how to break the cycle.

For me my regular daily overeating triggers are being home alone a bored in the hour before my daughter gets home from school and about an hour mid evening when my partner raids the kitchen. Once I'd learnt that, I learnt how to take evasive action. I also learnt what my irregular binge eating triggers were too, feeling unworthy and lacking control of my own life. So for that I was able to set myself goals to make myself feel I had control and was useful.

Just remember that everything you put into your mouth is a choice.

Also, I dunno how you organize your kitchen/shopping in your family but I find it much, much, much easier not to eat crap if it isn't in the house in the first place (obv!).

...in other words, it's not what you eat it's why you eat?

That's why most people can't sustain dieting.

Absolutely Joy...the reason diets don't work and aren't sustainable, trying to use willpower to control your appetite is a battle against yourself, who is going to win? Our appetite is as natural as breathing! it is there for a reason and we need to learn to listen to it instead of constantly trying to suppress it - which is destined to fail, often in a spectacular binge. A diary of feelings and triggers is a great way of understanding your need to emotionally eat and look for other ways of coping, but just your own recognition of what you are doing is a fantastic first step.

I gained weight fast due to pcos and paid for a gastric balloon for 6 months. It kick started my weight loss and meant I could get back to the gym and see results. I lost 15 kg in 6 months and have never put it back on.. Actually still losing. Best 2k I ever spent.

Thank you so much for so many lovely advices. I will go through everything and I have to organize myself.
I need to increase excersise or just start walking .
I have to still go through all the links you posted and take what is suitable for me.
Thank you so much.....
Starting point is new year. It has to be. I want to go this summer to my home country (coming from the coastal city) and I don't want to be a beach whale within slim mermaids....
Also, I am scared of getting heart problems or any other illnes which is not needed. I am still only 33 and I don't want to have high bp or diabetes...
When it comes to my work or my house or my family ( 2 DD's and dh) I am very disciplined and organised but with my weight I am so bad...:(

Another one here who can recommend MyFitnessPal

I recently took a short nutrition course and part of that involved weight control. One very interesting bit was a lecture by Dan Benardot, an American nutritionist, who recommended we eat little and often. So instead of eating 3 meals per day, to split each in half so we eat 6 smaller meals instead. This keeps the metabolism elevated and makes us less prone to putting down fat. He also said it's a fallacy that eating before bed makes us more likely to gain fat; it make no difference at all. The important thing is regular small meals, spaced evenly, whilst being mindful of calorie and nutrient intake.