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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I BU?

18 replies

GoldiChops · 27/12/2013 21:28

I'm just wondering if I did the wrong thing.

I spent the day on the train from my parents', almost 8 hours total on 4 trains. The main one was horrendously crowded, about 10 people crammed in the vestibule at one point. It was also really delayed, over an hour stuck in a field.

Next carriage was a family, parents and two under 7s on the floor of the buffet. All of them in and out of the bit where I was, parents constantly opening the window to look out and leaving it. It was freezing! I have a horrendous chesty cough, it was painful trying to gasp cold air to breathe.

Two hours into the journey they had the window open, I wrapped my coat around me with my hood up and a scarf over my face. The dad tapped on my shoulder and asked if I minded if they smoke out of the window. Honestly I was a bit shocked, they have young children with them and it's illegal to smoke on a train, I'm pretty sure. I was gasping after a coughing fit, I just said I was freezing and I have a horrendous cough and am asthmatic, yes I do mind. The only way I could move was to drag all my stuff through a crowded carriage- there were people standing in the aisles, that busy. Whilst trying not to cough on people or be too far from my water to stay off a too bad fit. He huffed and puffed a bit and gave me a horrible look, it was awful both he and the mum kept giving me nasty looks as they opened the window or went past me to loo. A bit intimidating!

But now I'm thinking was I mean? Is smoking that addictive that you can't go 2 hours without smoking? I have no experience, have always had asthma so never tried and I have no friends who smoke. I s it that desperate a need? On the next train someone sat next to me who had been smoking, I could smell it and I had to move as it triggered a proper fit, bent over and gasping. I know that if I had said yes ok smoke, it would have really hurt me having a coughing fit but I don't know enough about addiction to know how valid my refusal was!

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 27/12/2013 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheckedPjs · 27/12/2013 21:31

YANBU. I know people whom smoke 40 a day and with difficulty last a an 11 hour flight to Cuba, they don't smoke in the toilets.

They're just being arses

CaptainSweatPants · 27/12/2013 21:31

Yanbu

But you really don't sound well enough to have been travelling

Couldn't you have stayed with your mum a bit longer?

Tweenangst · 27/12/2013 21:31

I am a smoker and would rather chew my own arm off than smoke on a train, or any public place. It's bloody illegal and worse disgusting for non smokers. Yanbu.

CailinDana · 27/12/2013 21:31

It's illegal and dangerous. It doesn't matter who is or isn't ill, it wasn't up to you to give permission.

nancy75 · 27/12/2013 21:32

no not unreasonable at all. you are not allowed to smoke on trains, everyone knows you are not allowed to smoke on trains, they were unreasonable to even consider it (and I am a smoker)

ReluctantBeing · 27/12/2013 21:34

They we're unreasonable, not you.

ReluctantBeing · 27/12/2013 21:34

Stupid autocorrect!

GoldiChops · 27/12/2013 21:34

Phew, I'm glad no one thinks I was being an arse!

I'm not like dying in a heap, it is just a very very chesty cough. I had to travel today as ticket is today only, can't afford another. I'm really throaty but otherwise not ill, just the cough. I had no problem standing the whole way! I was just cold, I'm very big so I'm really not used to feeling the cold at all. usually I'm the one in a t shirt!

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RoadKillTurkeyStuffingandSprou · 27/12/2013 21:36

YWDNBU!
I am a smoker, one who finds long train journeys hard as it is difficult not being able to smoke (it's not having the choice rather then the going a few hours for me) BUT it is illegal to smoke on a train for good reason, it's very dangerous to smoke out of a train window and most of the smoke would have stayed in the carrage anyway. If you had said yes he would have planted himself there and smoked continually until he got off in all likelyhood!
Sounds like a horrible journey made harder by inconsiderate people, I bet you are glad to be home!

OldBagWantsNewBag · 27/12/2013 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldiChops · 27/12/2013 21:38

Oh I'm so glad to be home yes... My parents don't have heating, so it's nice to have mine on!

It was both parents who wanted to, he said we, so yup I think they would have been there in relay! This was two hours into what turned into a five hour journey. Thankfully they didn't get the same next train as me! They were quite intimidating people, brash.

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Thants · 27/12/2013 21:46

Yanbu. You saved them from a massive fine! They should be grateful! The staff on the train would not take that lightly. And you shouldn't have to be around smoke if you don't want to be.
Your asthma is more important than them wanting to smoke.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 27/12/2013 21:58

Yadnbu / remind them to carry e cigs for such occasions next time.

Onefewernow · 27/12/2013 22:11

I gave up smoking in September after a 30 year career of it. Heavy smoker, too.

The habit is purely psychological . That's a fact.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/12/2013 22:13

Er no,Yanbu.

I'm a smoker and doing/asking such a thing would never cross my mind.

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2013 22:13

YANBU

But I'm absolutely sure you know that.

GoldiChops · 27/12/2013 22:39

I hoped, but no I didn't know. Like I say, I have no experience of smoking. Well, not quite true- I have one friend who gave up during each pregnancy and started again as soon as each baby was born, like less than a day after they were born. But she never ever smokes around me so I've never discussed it with her.

I just wondered like is the addiction such that you have to do it at regular intervals or something. I just wondered because they were doing it around their children, perhaps I'm prudish but I assumed it must be a big need or else you wouldn't do it around young children?

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