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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel my friend tomorrow?

6 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 27/12/2013 19:54

He is a male friend. I have only ever had platonic feelings for him. I like him very much but absolutely no sexual feelings. He 's a good bloke and we have a shared history etc.
Trouble is he likes me more than friends. Just when I think he has come to terms with the fact that it is never going to happen between us he will do something like have a public display of affection on Facebook or something.
He has mh issues (as do I and it's something we gel on) but summer just gone he was having some kind of breakdown and posted some very lovely but full on things about me on Facebook like I was the most beautiful girl he knows etc. a bit awkward.
Thing is I have a dp now, in fact last time I met with this guy in March I also had a dp and I always make a big thing about having a dp. This friend has asked me for coffee and at first I said yes but I am going to cancel as I think that he really needs to let go of our friendship if he is to move on. Awkward as we have same friendship circles etc but I don't want another outburst on Facebook. It's sad to have to end a friendship because of this but it's the fairest thing etc.

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 27/12/2013 19:56

The thing is we don't hang out so I don't feel like I'm leading him on but he pops up every now and then on special occasions like Christmas or birthdays wanting to "catch up".

OP posts:
maddy68 · 27/12/2013 19:57

Yes cancel

formerbabe · 27/12/2013 20:00

Yes leave it. Men and women can be only be platonic friends if they both don't fancy each other. I think this guy will always think there is hope for a relationship if you continue to spend time with him...cancel!

CheeryCherry · 27/12/2013 20:01

Can you find a compromise? Like warn him it will be a quick coffee/ lunch whatever as xy and z has cropped up? And meet on neutral ground so you can just go? That way you've seen him as a friend. You wouldn't feel too guilty either.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 27/12/2013 20:02

I don't think you should cancel, he may well want to just catch up. You say yourself there is more to your friendship than his feelings for you.

I would meet up with him and if he starts to behave inappropriately, tell him, and then tell him you won't see him again if he doesn't respect your boundaries.

Don't ditch a friend just because you have a DP, the outpouring of emotion, well, I hate people who do that on Facebook, but it is just as often done by women to each other. It's just a showy off place anyway.

Snapperz · 27/12/2013 20:04

Bring your DP?

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