To think there's no point getting out of bed?

[ballinacup]

When its just going to be another day of shitty drudgery?

I'm pregnant with a baby I don't want but people keep telling me I'll regret terminating. I'm so depressed I can't be bothered to shower or sort out clean clothes. I'm suspended from work because I'm "disruptive" (that'll be the depression then). We can't afford two kids if I'm not working without taking a huge lifestyle drop and frankly, I don't want to take that. I can't even play with two year old DS because I'm spending most of the day throwing up and when I don't throw up, I feel nauseous.

I don't want to do this any more.

That does sound pants. I would lie on the sofa, stick CBeebies on and let DS play on the floor next to you. Try to eat something plain if you can. In the New Year, when everything is open again, it might be worth phoning an organisation who can listen while you talk through your feelings about the pregnancy. If it gets too much before then, phone the Samaritans.

Is the depression being treated? If not, then please go to the GP within the next few days. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, there are antidepressants that are safe to take.

Is there anyone that can come round? A friend? Have you spoken to Your GP or HV?

I've spoken to the GP and tried a few types of ADs but they exacerbate my hyperemesis to the point where admission to hospital has been on the cards.

I just feel like I'm stuck in a very dark hole and everything is caving in on me at once.

I've been in exactly the same place as you op and I know just how you feel. Don't let anyone try and tell you how you are feeling or are going to feel. They don't know what it's like only you do.
I had 2 children when I fell pregnant with my 3rd and I knew straight away I didn't want it. I was sick from a week before my period was due until I had the anaesthetic for the termination. I didn't regret my choice because it was right for me. I was lucky and even though some people didn't agree with my choice they stuck by me. If you would like to chat or ask anything please feel free to private message me op.
Like the other poster said pop little in front of tv and veg out on the sofa with your duvet. Try and eat some thing very plain (rich tea biscuits are great if you have any) and drink lots of water.
Have you made an appointment to see about getting a termination yet?

Maybe going into hospital would be a good thing - you'll get better treatment for both the sickness and the depression.

How is your dp helping you? Do you have any support?

I have loads of support, I'm just pathetic.

I wanted an only, or a biggish age gap but that's not fair apparently. And then a week after I find out I'm pregnant, I discover my job, fairly or unfairly, is likely to be swept away from me. DH and I earn roughly the same so we'll be losing about 40% of our income and DH earns just to much for us to qualify for any help.

Go to see your GP today. Phone them and tell them how desperate you feel. You would need to be very sure before you have a termination and feeling as you do is not a good time to make that decision.

I think it would be difficult for your work to sack you when you are pregnant and suffering from depression. Are you in a union? Someone who knows more about these things will no doubt be along and can give you some advice.

Try to have an easy day. Is your DP home to help you or could someone Coe over to be with you for a wee while?

Sorry you are feeling so bad.

How far along are you? If its not too late, go and see your gp to discuss terminating. You do nit have to have a baby. I have terminated and do not regret it.

I'm nearly ten weeks. I was so elated at this point with DS, but I just feel nothing but resentment towards this baby. It's too soon.

I have been where you are twice.

The first time was when I got pg when ds was 4. I freaked out and was adamant that I wanted to terminate but was talked round by OH and my friend. I am ashamed to say that I wanted that termination right up until the final push of labour.. dd is nearly 8 now and the most amazing person I have ever met.

That said.. I got pg again a couple of years ago and for identical reasons to you was sure I could not cope with a 3rd, this time I only told my mum and OH and he agreed. I don't regret it.

Who's telling you a big age gap is unfair and that you'll regret a termination? DH or other people? If it's DH then you have an opening to discuss everything in a cards on the table type of way. If it's anybody else well excuse the language but Fuck Them. Fwiw I have a big age gap between all 3 of mine and I have yet to find a bad side to it!
Does DH know exactly how bad you feel or have you spent the last few weeks pushing through and hiding it?
You need to speak to your GP today if you can, get an emergency appointment and tell them everything.
for you, the early weeks of a pregnancy are hard enough without all this other stuff thrown into the mix.

See your gp today. I suffered horrendous antenatal depression with my second child and severe post natal depression with my first. The only way it improved was telling my gp and taking anti depressants and getting some proper help. There are some anti depressants you can take during pregnancy and if you go into hospital they will treat the sickness as well.

I have a ten year gap between my dc and it works for me. They both adore each other and the older one loves helping with the baby so win win! Don't let anyone tell you what to do.

I've been approximately where you are and it's shit.

Have you got any meds for the sickness? I took metoclopramide till about 15 weeks and just stayed in bed most of the time (older kids were at school thankfully)

After that I began to improve.

By all means if you want to terminate then do so. But you may still feel sick for a while after. I couldn't talk myself into it and went ahead with the baby, but I shan't be having any more now. It's too much and nearly killed me, well, it felt that way.

Massive sympathy. Things WILL improve I promise.

The worst thing is, whenever I burst into tears, which is frequent, DS rushes over saying "don't cry, I'm nice not naughty". The poor bairn thinks he's done something wrong.

Right, you still have a choice. But you need to act now. Phone doctors today.

Btw I haven't ever taken ADs and found that the physical problems were the main thing, when I was pg, and after I gave birth - well after the hyperemesis subsided a bit - I began to feel heaps better. You don't have to take pills but do try and get hold of some anti sickness meds if you think that might help. And get someone else to look after little one whenever possible, pref in the house so they don't think you're never coming back.

Depression is horrible and clouds your judgement on everything too so sorry you're feeling so bad.

I'm two days overdue now with a toddler here and DH has gone in to work today - Cbeebies all the way!

We did plan the close age gap but I had dreadful sickness at the start too and it's no fun trying to keep a wee one entertained when you're so tired.

Re: your job and health definitely go back to the doctor and maybe see what they can do about writing a letter for work that might help? Some workplaces can be less understanding about depression than others but all might not be lost it probably just feels like that because you've got so many stresses at once plus feeling ill too :(

As far as work is concerned I don't see how I can go back. My supervisor held secret team meetings whilst I was on annual leave and it transpires that no one in my office can stand me.

Make an appointment with your Gp to discuss options. You shouldn't have to have a child you don't want.

It is no ones decision but your own..make that call. Take control of your life. I wish you well.